New here, really struggling with loneliness.

[naiaman]

Hi there, as the post says, I feel lonely all the time. I am around enough people, but I rarely ever feel accepted as a human being. On top of this, my long time gf (the only person in my life that I've felt that understood me) dumped me and found a new bf for herself. I go out, but I'm every bit as depressed and anxious as I normally am when I'm alone, because I don't feel like people would hang with me if they new what I was going through. I genuinely need to connect to people, it is killing me. Can anybody help out, or would just like to talk?

[Hidden]

First off, welcome to this site...it's a great place to meet and talk with people who can empathize and sympathize with how you feel or the things you're going through. I am sorry to hear about how you're feeling lonely and how your relationship ended. I think negative thoughts are causing some of your issues. People with all sort of afflictions (cancer, anxiety, or whatever) are still very much accepted by people. Your issues do not define your acceptability. Just because you are depressed or lonely, it shouldn't matter. True and good friendships rely on truth, acceptance of humanity (that is...we're all not perfect), and a good connection. You are capable of these things....and there are so many people out there who can and will exchange this back. A good idea might to be to find some folks in your predicament at support groups or just letting chance happen and finding common ground (music, sports, or whatever hobbies you enjoy) with someone. Depression does not mean you should be doomed and lonely. You deserve every opportunity to be happy, in the company of good friends, and loved. Good people will not let your issues become and define you.

I am sorry about your girlfriend. I can admit that I always thought my issues with anxiety seemed to complicate my relationships. I am sure she did understand you, but look at it this way...if she couldn't handle the issues you have and the harder times, she does not deserve the greater side of you. We're all human...we have imperfections and we have things that make us special and amazing. All you can do is to work on putting yourself back out there and give it a shot. Try not to let failed attempts to connect or those who lack to accept deter you....there are decent human beings out there. I promise. For now, take care and please hold to the fact that you'll make some friends and maybe even connect with a girlfriend who gets you more than ever thought....and sees an incredible person.

[CAteacher75]

I’m with you, naiaman. Veritas is right on point. I just wanted to echo and say you are so not alone.

[naiaman]

Thanks guys! I know yall are struggling, and to reach out to my post is really cool of you guys. Its hard for me to vulnerable with my friends, because everybody around me seems so strong, and I honestly feel like I am just not interesting or am a generally incapable person. What can I do for this, if you dont mind me asking?

[CatIsMyCopilot in reply to naiaman]

I feel these exact things: "I am just not interesting or am a generally incapable person". Especially the first, when anxiety or depression is the only thing on my mind. I feel like people don't want to talk about that stuff, however:

I usually feel better though when I can vent (maybe doing so here can help, or maybe with a friend you trust) and feel like I'm heard in these feelings. Sometimes I cry, and really feel afterward like I have a little peace, just from that release. Talking to others about this stuff can also help put things in perspective i.e. your problems might not seem so big once you let them out of your head.

Another thing that sometimes helps is to remind yourself that you love yourself. Maybe try to do something nice for yourself (e.g. a treat, or something), and feel the love that is inherent in that.

[HopeWithSmile]

I am here for you naiaman. PM if you need company. It was a right choice to join this community. People are extremely supportive and understanding here.

We are not alone here. We are all in this together.

xx

[SirGrits]

Yeah man welcome aboard. I ditto the other posts, hang in there, you are not alone. There's commonly a grieving process that takes place at the end of a long relationship, let it take it's course and go easy on yourself. Prayers bro.

[naiaman in reply to SirGrits]

Thanks for your thoughts. Its not necessarily me grieving b/c of the loss, what weighs on me everyday is that I have no friends to really help me through this. Im always invited to things that everyone is else is invited to, and I almost always go, but there is no connection, and I feel like I can't confide with anyone. In that sense I feel so lonely, b/c she seemed like the only person who wanted to understand me, even if it was for such a short period of time.

[SirGrits in reply to naiaman]

Yeah bro, hang in there.

Sometimes deep connection has to take place in unexpected places. My best friend these days is an ex co-worker. That relationship took time. Just be patient and keep genuine; it'll come.

[naiaman in reply to SirGrits]

Thanks for replying twice! Thats a major good guy move