A little about me...

[pamela74]

I am here because I know how important is to have all the support you can have living with anxiety and major depression with other diagnoses. When I was young I sexually abused and emotionally abused. I grew up with no to little self-esteem. When I was 13yr old about 30 years ago, my mom took me to get mental; help thankfully mental health has come a long way. I was put on all sorts of heavy medication. I hated it but I was told it was for the best for me. . When I was 16 I went to live with an Aunt who took me of those meds. When I was 14 I told about my sexual assaults from a family member and was told that I was a spoiled brat how dare I speak of that person in such a way. For years I hated myself. Thankfully, when I was about 29 I went and saw a doctor because I couldn’t live a normal life. After seeing counselors and doctors I was placed on certain medications that did help with depression and anxiety. To this day about I still, get days and moments that I can’t do simple things such as get the mail or just go outside. I have moments that I feel that a ghost just attacked my body and makes everything hurts for no reason making me not want to live and so alone.

[Hidden]

You are a survivor and overcome so many things. That is admirable. Keep striving for progress.

[Hope4me2018]

I have those days too but know better days are coming. Stay strong and in faith. Try different things and see what’s helps you and finding someone to talk to that’s not judgmental. Therapy has helped me a lot. God bless and stay in faith.

[majolie]

Pamela, I'm so sorry and saddened to hear not only of your sexual & emotional abuse, but that you were not listened to when you revealed it, and in fact, the way you were responded to was evil and criminal. I'm so sorry that you were not protected and helped.

I was also sexually abused by my father and it deeply impacted my life. I understand about depression and anxiety and how it affects EVERYTHING. The horror of sexual abuse is that it continues to hurt for years afterward, long after the actual event. I want you to find freedom from this! You can't change the past, but you CAN change the future.

Have you ever sought counseling for sexual abuse? There are excellent counselors out there who specialize in this. Also, I highly recommend finding a church that has pastoral counseling (usually free), support groups, or a counseling staff. It was a support group at my church for sexual abuse victims that finally helped me find the road back to a healthy life. We worked through a book called The Door of Hope. God was the one who ultimately healed me and helped me forgive (which set me free from rage and hate). He wants to heal you, too. Just talk to Him like a regular person and ask Him for help.

Perhaps you can call the National Organization for Victim Assistance (NOVA) at 800-879-6682. Or Google "talk to an online counselor". I'm sending prayers your way for hope and healing.