I need to vent or I am gonna go crazy - Anxiety and Depre...

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I need to vent or I am gonna go crazy

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I have given you 18 years. Have I really been that bad of a wife.

I do your laundry. I sit there patiently when you are playing your video games. I bring you dinner in bed. I make love to you when you want it. I don’t complain I don’t have friends. What more do you want. I forgot to pick up a rock from the yard. Geez I didn’t realize that it would damage your grass. I am so so so sorry for that. I sat there day in and day out to pull those fucking weeds and that’s how you pay me. You belittle me you humiliate me. As a woman that all she wants is her husband to love her show her some affection. I don’t bitch I Don’t complain. Why treat me like that. Like I am piece of garbage. Why treat me like that why. I deserve to be love even if it’s in my dreams.

20 Replies

I’m so sorry you are having a rough time! I can relate to what you are saying. I tend to be a people pleaser as well. Hang in there! Remember to love yourself. If you have a faith it can help to know that your self worth doesn’t depend on others’ approval.


I’m so sad for you x


I think he really needs to hear what you have to say.

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Yikes men grrrrrr.... can you get out?

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I’m going to ask a question. It’s as much for me as for you. Why do you stay? I can see that you are a beautiful woman with a loving heart. And it seems like you are being taken for granted and mistreated. Are you like me and feel too afraid to start over? Do you not want to upset the fragile “balance” (more like lack of) of your life? I’m just wondering. Because I’m not in a good situation myself.

I’m glad you vented. We all need to do that.

Please know that you are worthy of love and respect. 💗


I want to help answer the question posed to your husband “Why treat me like that?”. The answer is because he can. It is not you, it is him. Don’t let him treat you like you are beneath his shoe. You are not. Take time to do things away from him, even if by yourself. Don’t be home to serve him dinner every might. Start to separate yourself even if just mentally, he will notice. He thinks you’re weak. Find those friends you have been missing. Make time for yourself. You deserve dignity, respect, protection & peace.


My ex-husband treated me and our kids like that... what was at the bottom of it was he was having an affair. He treated us like that so he could have a reason to leave. I beat him to it, I left with my kids. You've heard of Karma? Well he got his, she turned out to be the BITCH of all BITCHES. He kept his cheating ways with her. You need to get away from your situation, it could turn physical?

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So sorry to hear this. Perhaps you need to decide if the relationship is worth it if this is his usual way to behave



I sympathise with you! I was a doormat for many many years, no self worth or respect.

It does not get better or easier over the years..

They do not change and that is not love.

Do not succumb to that treatment.

You are valuable, and worthy as a person.

Be kind to yourself!

I finally left and I am free!!!!!

I do not understand your situation but I encourage your seek support.

Take care.🙏🌷

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You’re entitled to vent!

No you don’t deserve to be treated badly.

Your a giver, he’s a taker.

It sound like whatever you do won’t ever be enough.

How do we know? You’ve shown the evidence.

Resentment does build up over time.

The question is: is his time overdue?

Perhaps it’s reaching a tipping point for how much more you can tolerate before you finally take action. I can’t answer that.

We humans have the capacity to tolerate a lot, then some.

You have been amazing. But does he deserve your continuing love and devotion?

Deep down you know the answer. It’s likely to be worth listening to.

Yes, you do deserve love, but maybe not from him. Sooner or later you will find the love your looking for - and not just in your dreams :)


I know you feel like you are totally trapped but nowadays there are hundreds of shelters out there who have lots of people from the hispanic community as unfortunately domestic abuse (and emotional abuse counts as domestic abuse by the way) is very prevalent in these communities. ( it seems like many of the men have not "moved on" and there is still the machismo attitude )

Make it your plan that when the children graduate you leave. ( not kill yourself as there is nothing wrong with you ; it is him) You say your children know the abuse is going on . I'm sure everyone does.

If you feel your situation will worsen if you stand up to him make a secret plan to get some help from outside.

If he's home all the time be crafty and contact a shelter whenever he has chance to go out.

I understand the fear that people like this induce and you don't want it to escalate to violence; so make your plan to leave as I say. Make it in a detailed way .

Contact your best friend who you've been banned from seeing and tell her where you are.

Luckily you have your Ipad so my advice to you would be to be crafty and contact people

secretly . Make sure he never finds this information so cover your tracks and delete anything you don't want him to see. (eg conversations with your best friend)



Hey! I can relate so well. Seventeen years with my now ex-husband I stopped that crap with a divorce. I am not suggesting that is what you need to do. We can decide for ourselves when we had enough. How is it that we get married and shortly after they think we are their slaves. I spent 17 years too long with my ex. I was used like a slave taking care of 250 head of cattle while he worked for USPS and he told me it was all his money. I left a brand new home with a 3 car garage during the divorce process. Greed and love of money destroyed that man. He is a spoiled mama boy. The only boy in the siblings. It was one year long horrible divorce. It was well worth it too. I tried and gave it my all. I could not take anymore. He is greedy and selfish and cares for no one but him. Well, I sure got his goat. When I went back to my home town to visit. I go back once a year. It is 500 miles away. I hocked my wedding ring. It was expensive and very good shape. I had worn it long enough. I would have given it away. Why give it away? I got money out of the deal. That was the first and only time that I hocked anything. He was upset when found out I hocked that precious ring. Oh! Honey, it meant nothing to me. I laugh so hard now because it is just too funny but great to be rid of the ring and him.


It is never too late to start a new life. My poor mother put up with my violent father for 40 years. Wow! not me! I do not put up with abuse. I see it and run out the door. I have been a victim of all KINDS of abuse since a small child. All from my father. My mother is wonderful. She left him when we four kids were small. He always found us. She divorced after 40 years. She is still living at 82 and doing well. She was 60 when she started a new life. Never too old. I am 57 and started living a new life just 2 years ago after divorce. I love it and am free too. I stayed in an abusive relationship for 18 years with my first husband. I stayed because of my kids. The Children In The Middle class which is mandatory in my state during divorce. It tell us right on. You are the first person to think of while deciding on divorce and kids are the last. It can be tough on kids. They adapt well. Kids see the turmoil in the home between parents. This is no way healthy for them. Seventeen years I was with this last man. I gave him a son. His one and only child. I stayed too long because of my son. I left finally. We always seem to stay hoping it gets better. We stay for our kids. They don't change usually. It seems to get worse. So whatever you decide it is for you and your kids. Be strong and do not let fear hold you back. I have seen so much physical and emotional abuse growing up for a lifetime.


He’s a bit of an ass, yes?

Do you deserve to be treated like this?

Do you want your children to think this is how a healthy relationship is supposed to be?

Are you happy?

I could go on and on, but you already know the answers.

He’ll either change or he won’t, neither is within your control.

You can’t teach him your pain. He’s well schooled there.

What can you do? You know that answer as well.

Take care of you.


Sky my reply to you is RUN, RUN, 🏃 RUN as fast as you can to the nearest shelter, where is your family? Priest friend or neighbor to tell somebody will help you keep trying don’t give up

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This to all my ladies. Know y’all worth Queens, I don’t give a John brown how long you been with him make sure you he respect love care and provide a life style for ya. We will cater to get you but once we get you that real person show and sometimes a man will show you at the begin. When he act up and you know that’s a stop light stop and redirect yourself.


No matter what, don't forget yourself. No human deserves this treatment. Easier said than done but get the hell out of there.


Get out NOW!!!! Run as fast as you can and don’t look back!!!! What an ass!!!


Run from him as fast and far, as you can


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