Searching for a safe place to be vulnerable.

[RockAndHardPlace]

Hey there,

I'm brand new here and this is my first post.

I've been having a rough go of it lately so I am searching for a safe place to be vulnerable and to express my thoughts and feelings. I figured an anonymous post to a caring community would be a good place to start.

I've let my anxiety run my life for too long. It's a beautiful, sunny 4th of July and I am sitting alone in a dark house trying to escape my anxiety. I've kept myself numb for many years but the more I avoid my feelings, the worse they seem to get.

I am craving connection big time, but my social anxiety is a major barrier to this. I want to put myself out there and meet people, but talking to people makes me nervous. I get sweaty, my throat gets tight, I don't know what to do with my hands so they usually end up in my pockets. I have an undeniable urge to just turn and run away from social situations. Yet I crave connection so bad. I'm tired of feeling lonely and sad and sorry for myself.

Any support or advice would be much appreciated,

Thanks.

[jkl5500]

I hope you are receiving therapy for your anxiety.

Also, the following article and website can be very helpful:

psychcentral.com/lib/15-sma...

[onthetrail]

Welcome, I'm new here too. I think you're wise to recognize the need for social connection and brave to reach out here. I'm a full-blown introvert (not the same thing as shyness, but related). I share many of the symptoms you describe around new people and social situations. I can stay by myself all week and not miss much, but ultimately I realize it's not healthy. The book "Quiet" by Susan Cain is a great manifesto for introverts. Also, I recently did a course on Udemy called "10x Your SOCIAL SKILLS." It was short, cheap, and had lots of good, practical ideas for putting yourself out there. Knowledge is power.

[RockAndHardPlace in reply to onthetrail]

Thanks for your kind words and for the resources. The course sounds like a good idea. Do you feel like it helped you out in your situation?

[onthetrail in reply to RockAndHardPlace]

It's early to tell, and social skills are more of a background challenge than a crisis in my life right now. But that course had some good ideas I want to put into practice. For example, finding a "social environment/location" that you can get familiar with and be comfortable in, something that works for your personality. Also, ideas on conversation skills and telling stories. We introverts hate talking about ourselves. But, I have to remind myself, you're actually doing other people a service telling useful stories about your life and including enough details to make it interesting. Fear of rejection can shut us down, but fact is, if you get out there, some people *will* be attracted to you for who you are. Good luck.

[Anxietygal2]

Hi, I completely understand. We all need human interaction, unfortunately there are so many bad people out there with hidden agendas its hard to get close to anyone.

[RockAndHardPlace in reply to Anxietygal2]

Yeah I definitely struggle with trust. I was supporting my girlfriend through school for the past 2 years. She dumped me in February when she was 2 months from graduating. I think it’s going to be hard for me to trust after that.

[Chancalot in reply to RockAndHardPlace]

Understood!

[Want2BHappy3]

This site is as Safe as any, people here truly Care. No judging here, speak your mind

[Chancalot]

This is a good training ground for you to get use to conversing with others. It may help you relax and provide support as you venture out and make friends.

[Hidden]

Welcome💜