About to Make a Major Move: Hi I'm... - Anxiety and Depre...

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About to Make a Major Move

brad57 profile image
8 Replies

Hi I'm 57 and I was told by my Landlord that he wouldn't be renewing my lease this July 1st. I've been living in bad conditions in a basement for quite awhile now.

Due to anxiety, both social and everyday anxiety I rarely go out ...especially since Covid.

My only option, since I don't have have that much $ and can't find any decent apt for under $1000, is to move into a place for people over 50 in low cost housing.

I saw 2 apt's and they're quite nice. Big enough for me and they have balconies which I haven't had in ages.

While talking over things for a May move, I asked Sheryl, the one in charge questions about what I could move in. I live in a big 3 1/2 and am moving into into a 1 1/2 and she kept asking if I was a hoarder when I talked about bringing my books with me. She said something like "If you haven't read them by now, you never will.." Also, she mentioned them being a fire hazard, lol.

So, it hit me. This is my 1 step closer to dying and also having less autonamy in the meantime. The rent in this place is actually higher than what I'm paying right now. I understand I have to keep the place clean and there are people older than me who struggle with everyday things.

But, I can still cook, read, use the computer, play video games,etc (The going out part is the tough one) I'm 57, not 80.

I'm not sure why that comment got to me but she also said there would be cleanliness inspections.

I have nowhere else to go, so I have no choice but to move in there.

So, here I am at 4:30 am typing this out because I don''t have any support from anyone in my life and maybe it will make me feel a little better to get this out of my system.

Thanks for reading...

Brad

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brad57 profile image
brad57
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8 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Sorry to hear you have to move brad as this is very unsettling isn't it.

I guess the good side is you have somewhere to go and aren't going to be homeless or anything. And it will be more secure than private renting.

I suspect you may be feeling worse about it because of the reality we are all getting older and having to face that can be depressing. We all struggle with feelings of mortality and fear of old age etc. I am 71 and panic a bit at the thought my time is starting to run out.

I wish you the best in your new home. Take care.

brad57 profile image
brad57 in reply tohypercat54

Thank you so much for the kinds words! I wish you all the best as well.

LazyXrayEyes2255 profile image
LazyXrayEyes2255

I know this might not be solution but I had so many books that I donated some and sold some on book selling site, World of Books. It dosen't generate much profit but you get little and they are going to people who will look after your books. I still keep hold of many books for sentimental and other reasons, they bring me joy. But if they don't hold joy for you please let them go!

I really hope you get a place and where you can live comfortably!!!

brad57 profile image
brad57 in reply toLazyXrayEyes2255

Thanks so much. I guess the comment made me think more of my mortality than anything else. I read mostly on my e-reader now. I will probably donate the books to my local library.

LazyXrayEyes2255 profile image
LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply tobrad57

Yes each moment precious in life and always look after your health as well as mental health. you will make it!!

brad57 profile image
brad57 in reply toLazyXrayEyes2255

Yes, you too!

Dovesfly profile image
Dovesfly

I sympathize with you and hope everything works out for you. If you get in a tight spot, reach out to your city or township about low come assistance options. I'm really not sure how it works but I recently have been dealing with hardship myself and that is what the case worker told me to do.

I will try to come back and give and updated but I went from making 40k a year to now 24k and bills have not decreased. My bills have doubled, mortgage went from $350 to $700 and association fees from $215 to $415. The ppl that handle the price changes do not care what's in your packet. They just want the money, and on time. Smh

brad57 profile image
brad57 in reply toDovesfly

It's awful what housing prices and rental prices are. And the cost of everything keeps going up. I'm on Disability and get about 20k a yr. It's enough for the basics. It's a shame, really.

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