Anger : I fear I might be too angry for... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Anger

I fear I might be too angry for this group.

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All I want to do is whine and complain and be heard, but I get nobody wants to read or hear my bs. It still pisses me off when friends ignore me though

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What are you angry about?

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These are raw texts I sent to my mom, fuck it I’m desperate figure I’ll post en here and show how I really feel and text

I feel like I’m too angry for those support groups they’re all anxiety and depressed and sad when I just want to scream and shout and say fuck all that fuck you this is bullshit

Maybe I don’t want support I just want someone to yell at in them to take it

I just want to place to vent my anger purely without censorship or fear or regret I don’t think I will be good for those communities

Like I will be the toxic one

I also tend to write like this not in one big paragraph so I make many posts and it probably be annoying

People would eventually just flat out ignore me or want me gone

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What is it exactly that you are angry about? you haven't said.

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Everything, life, work, love, bad genetics

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I spend much of my day swearing due to pain and regularly get absolutely sick of it all. Then you get on with it or have a nap. Have you read Nikki Alberts book about pain bc she’s pretty angry and sweary and made me laugh too which is unusual isn’t it??!

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Hi Usernamework.. apparently you have run into problems with other support

groups that you feel you are too angry for them. I will be honest with you in that

being here you would have to adhere to the rules set in place as well. I can sense

your anger and rage and that you need a place to release that pent up frustration.

You couldn't have picked a nicer more caring group of people than are on Anxiety

and Depression Support but...you won't be able to use swear words. Administration

watches the contents of everything written on this site.

I'd like to welcome you here but wanted you aware ahead of time that you will have

to tone your words down. I really wish you well because I know nothing hurts more

than friends and even family who turn a deaf ear to us. I hope you find the help you

need. :) xx

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Thanks for your reply and I can time down the swearing, although I think censorship is a problem in the world.

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This is because this site is for everyone regardless of age, background, or culture. You must be aware that many hate the use of swear words and it can be triggering for some which is why they are banned on every HU site. It's not senseless censorship and there is a good reason for it. x

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Please trust Agora1 and hypercat54. This is not their first rodeos in easing people into anger reduction while stayinf safe with not breaking the guidlines of the venue.

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I say go ahead and whine and complain. We’re here to listen. But be aware, you might get some fiesty responses back and advise.

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Which I probably couldn’t handle. Another reason I fear sites like this

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I get what your saying. Maybe just dip your toe in the water with a brief overview of what is bothering you instead of writing out a very long post with a lot of details at one time. If you get responses that aren’t helpful, then stop right there. Start by keeping a guard up until you can trust the responses. That is my suggestion.

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anger is one of the symptoms of my depression. i get very angry that i feel so bad and that makes me irritable and unwilling. i take prozac for it. it helps me feel less angry.

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True

Anger is a part of depression that's what I was going to say:)

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Go ahead and unload. You need to vent to someone. We are here for you.

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Welcome to the group. Everyone is here to listen. Some of us are learning to listen better than we ever have before. I’m sorry that your depression displays itself with anger. Mine doesn’t allow me to be angry. Me and anger don’t know much about each other. I’m trying to figure that one out.

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Have you turned your anger toward yourself instead? I did and I HATED myself for 33 years. I didn't think I was angry or didn't like to outwardly express it but I really was. Rhetorical question....how do you feel about yourself Optimuscoolbeans??! (Best name I've found on here so far by the way!!!) 😂😂😂

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I am coming to realize that my anger has been turned inward. I don’t know if I hate myself. But it is going somewhere. And inward is the direction. But thanks it is something to look into definitely.

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The anger makes it very difficult to maintain relationships with people. I feel like the digital age makes this even harder. Since it’s so easy to just grab your phone and barf on people when you are feeling overwhelmed or upset. Before this technology I’d prob just be upset and yell in my car or something

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This is so true isn't it.

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Hi, where is the anger stemming from? Abusive relationships?

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Not abusive no, but I did have my heart broken last year. Pretty much caused by my insecurity and anger

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Do you see a therapist?? You really have not voiced much for us to go on. If you are not seeing a therapist you should think long and hard on finding one. Anger is a part of depression and anxiety. I was for a while until I was finally diagnosed. Then put on medication. Are you on medication?? Life without depression or anxiety is hard enough. Add those into the mix and it can be hard to handle. But, seeing someone who can help you figure out where the anger comes from and advise you on ways to release it in a more productive way is what you need to work towards.

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I have been seeing a therapist for about 5 months now. Not on medication but I was for about 6 months back in 2018. I don’t really want to be in medication

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First off, no one wishes to be on medication. But, it is just a fact of life. My depression/anxiety is a medical condition. Caused by a terrible car accident back in 1992. If you have a problem with your heart or were diabetic, you would have to take medication. I do not like taking the meds I take, but without them my life would be unbearable. I have tried to go off them, but finally had to come to terms it's impossible. I will be on them til I leave this world. To me, taking meds is so much better than living with constant anger, fear, hopelessness, panic etc. Now, if your seeing a therapist and still have so much anger, which can happen without meds, you may wish to find a new one. Not all therapists are healthy. They have their downfalls just as everyone does. But, a good therapist would be explaining to you that without certain changes to your life you may always be angry. Or give you tools to express your anger in different ways. You seem to be making too many excuses, but not taking care of your situation. Sorry, but I am honest and sometimes very blunt. It's almost as if you would rather being angry then work towards getting rid of it. I feel, in that mindset, no one can truly give you advice. I really hope you can find peace in your life. Find a balance. Good luck

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I think you are just looking for attention. So, I will leave this post alone. Wish you well.

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I am most definitely not looking for attention, I don’t like a lot of focus on me. I’m not sure exactly what I want from this, maybe to connect with other ppl like me or meet someone special even, I don’t know. A few of my earlier posts were made at work in the heat of the moment and not thought out or considered well before I hit send

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If you had to state the top thing that is bugging you at the moment, what is it? Start with that my friend and see where it takes you 👍 I am outwardly not an angry person at all but I turned all my anger toward myself and absolutely hated myself for 33 years. It's not healthy and we all need to identify what caused our anger and is it a symptom of out anxieties/depression or the cause of it 🤔 my thoughts are, if your feeling like total poop right now, what have you got to lose by chatting? X

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What makes you think that? People who have anxiety can sometimes feel Angry because they are frustrated. We can Read that your angry, but we don't Feel your anger, there's a Difference. I'm ok with your feeling that way...get it Out.

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Actually I think your in the right place. It sounds like your in a similar mindset that I was in when I started my journey. Perhaps you feel like everything is against you? That your constantly fighting to get anywhere? As an Australian, I don't have an issue with swearing (used appropriately of course) but it's better to leave it at the door. It won't help you to understand your anger. But talking will. See how other people deal with things. Maybe try a few of the suggestions offered? We don't always like everything that we see and hear but right now, your defences are up. This is making every issue seem worse than it is and it's keeping you angry and isolated. It's not going to get better over night but you need to chip away at one problem at a time. Part of my issue was my perspective. It was difficult to change but once I did, I was able to let go of a lot of anger and see things more clearly.

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Hi. I love Eminem. He melts my heart cos I love his anger and the way he expresses his hurt. There's nothing more attractive to me than a man that can express himself . I also have heaps of anger. Anger is an emotion, it isn't who you are... It's telling you that on your emotional compass, there's pain that needs nurturing. It's like any other emotion but its powerful so you could use it as something positive and not see it as negative as we've been shamed for expressing anger as kids. The trick is to not react but acknowledge it when it surfaces and then take it from there.... some beautiful things to do with anger....Write song lyrics, poetry, angry dancing, pots and pans drumming (make music), angry art, run (sprint), you get the point.... Express yourself! Write for hours and be as petty as f*@k about it. Write until you can't write no more! Go ape sh*t... You'll get to a point where you'll find your hurt and understanding, which is the beautiful part. So give it a go... What have you got to loose? Xxx

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Where have you gone? I was initially diagnosed with depression, I was frustrated, why wasn't my life going smoothly, why did I have such a shit childhood? My parents, why was my life still shit? My husband didn't love me enough. I have now been diagnosed, after many years with EUPD, ok it must be on the mild side, but it is very frustrating, initially you want to blame everyone else, and then you think about it, after counselling or not, and realise it is the way you react to things, you haven't been taught or shown how to react to things in a rational way, so you don't react at all, or go completely ballistic, well I do anyway. I hate authority figures and petty rules, I also hate people who try to push you into a corner because they have the power to do so, either legally or emotionally. The only way you can really deal with a harmful situation is to remove yourself from it, it might take a very long time for you to pluck up the courage to do it, but try to come up with a better alternative than what you are doing at the moment that is making you so angry. I initally didn't speak to my mum for 5 years in my 30s, now when I speak to her and she asks how I am I say 'I am fine', end of. I am no longer prepared for her to mess with my emotions and send me on guilt trips, I wasn't the perfect daughter and she wasn't the perfect mum and that's it, lets leave it at that, she has recently said sorry for what happened, which was a big and unexpected step on her part, but it hasn't healed me as other things have happened since because of how I felt about everything. All you can try to do after certain things is carry out damage limitation, try to stay out of toxic situations and MOSTLY, LOOK AFTER YOURSELF and not everybody else, you don't owe anybody else anything unless they earn it. Do try mediation, relaxation techniques, anything you think that might help. Mindfulness is not my bag as it is too directed.

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I agree with your approach. It's either that

or accept what you can't change. (like this font) lol xx

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Depression often manifests as anger. I will understand

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I’m not here looking for advice or bluntness, I’m just wanting ppl to understand. I think what I want is literally just a place to vent and whine

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Understand what is different from the anger and depression and anxiety many of us deal with?...It's how you discuss it with us and we can understand but you are right, I would not want my well to run dry by helping you put out a blast from your atomic anger....but getting a hard plastic baseball bat and whaking a very sturdy tree can do wonders in reducing anger levels a bit . You can discuss your situation perhaps in a calmer manner if you have released some of the physical energy anger requires.

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You're so right lawdog in that anger/frustration doesn't have to be done with

words. Sometimes the better way is using physical exertion.

How have you been? Miss you xx

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Hi my friend. I'm doing. but no small trees left near me. Just been bumpy year maintaining with the additional surprises but that's just my life and it will pass......and trying to actually understand the professional questions asked and why and what the professionals are suggesting.....but sometimes they aren't as clear in communicating as they think. :)

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I hear you. Stay strong as the woman you are. I have no doubts that you will

make it through Take care of yourself :) xx

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:) :)

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Whine Bitch Moan and Complain? How loud are you? I have Bipolar Manic. When my medicine does not keep me balanced I scream, cry and yell for hours or even days. My fury scares my husband and chased away my daughter. There are also times when I am so sad I feel "lower than the floor" crying for hours. My father also had it. His anger 'spells' would last for weeks or even months. He would be very busy with very strenuous activity. Which was much better than those times he would erupt and beat us.

I think 14andahalfandstable was right in saying we need to learn how to react to things in a rationale way. I have taken up hiking which means I can kick a tree whenever I want to vent and talk to a tree when I want to whine. So long as the tree does not kick back at me or talk back to me I feel much better.

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Ah, so you understand trees too! :)

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I have White oak, Madrone, Manzanita, Mountain Mahogany, Pine and Fir. I prefer Oak but Madrone is a nice 2nd. Kicking is effective in releasing anger but it is hard on the toes. I am experimenting with baseball bats. So far so good.

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Avoid metal or wood bats...the recoil or cracking can harm you. Stick with the plastic ones...not as fulfilling but safer.

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My trees thank you for the suggestion. I think I saw some at Goodwill.

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You're welcome! If the bat and tree thing is not enough..,...if you have a basement, try to get a large box that you can dumped the broken pieces of salvage and second hand stores coffee mugs and such....the donations these stores get are not always in good enough condition to resell.....so ask one or two if you can have them..........and then pitch them against your basement wall as hard as you can...but cheap googles will protect your eyes from anything flying back. After you have worn out some of the anger or fear energy...walk away. You can always sweep up the mess later and toss in the box. No sense releasing that anger or fear without getting the benefit of just enjoying the calm for awhile. You take care. xoxo

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Therapist told me to not focus on what other people think of me but to instead focus on what I can do for myself. It took a few thousand sessions - joking - before I accepted this recommendation and began searching for things I could do. Right now I am bashing my trees. No criticism from Therapist. Recommended a few more thousand times - I am still joking - on setting daily times for visiting trees. Right now I am trying to visit my trees before bedtime each night. Maybe that is why I am sleeping better. Now recommending I use a script while bashing. I am tempted to wait for the 3 thousandth session before I begin trying that out. It is a slow process to trust anyone's recommendation. I do not like criticism; that I have not tried enough; that people are right saying I am crazy - always have been and always will be; that they know what is best for me; that the anger will never end. I do not like being bullied. Thank you for listening to me.

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No one likes being bullied, unfortunately loads of people like bullying other people because it makes them feel better, usually because they have an inferiority complex. As well as hitting trees, try getting a friendly cat or dog and listening to a sleep meditation on youtube or buy a CD of Amazon or something, youtube is free and if you don't like one you can try another one. Also make the most of any sunshine if you have any where you are. :-)

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I like your ideas. Maybe I can try them after I have worked out my anger on the trees. My trees are all outside so I'll get the sunshine you suggest.

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Good idea.

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I actually DO understand. That energy when certain emotions can build up and if people just tell you to concentrate on doing improvement..,.,..they don't understand some of the built of steam has to be released before anything else happens. ..........................Did you just write that your therapist didn't criticize the bat and trees? If so, great! Wonder what the impression will be if you use old china and the basement walls......hummmmm

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Therapist was pleased I had finally found a pressure release I could stay with and that did not involve people. I know I am not my father but the memories are still raw. I am working hard to not use him as a role model. Sort of if he did this then I am determined to go the other way. We talked about using this as part of my Script but decided repeating it could further imbed it into my memory. Better to ignore it and move forward. Any suggestions as to my Script? Therapist is pleased with my joining this group.

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