Another morning in my life

[Kat63]

I’m feeling a little anxious about my relationship again today. My bf went out for a little while without giving me a hug and kiss as he went out the door. But when he came back, he gave me a hug and kiss, and smiled, and his eyes looked happy.

I’m still more worried about the time he didn’t hug me, than happy about the time he did. And the time he did happened later, so you would think it would cancel out the time he didn’t.

This is what it’s like in my brain. I notice every little thing, and get insecure about it. It sucks.

[NadiaB]

I get it. completely. Try and wrangle that brain in.

[Aardbark]

Did he tell you why he was leaving? Maybe he was stressed out about wherever he was going. Things went well and he returned in a better mood. .... Kat, I do the exact same thing. My mind never stops. I ask myself questions like the ones I posed you until I force myself up to do something completely different.

[Kat63 in reply to Aardbark]

He told me - and he was just going out to put gas in the car.

I think this is me being hyper-sensitive to any possible signs of rejection. After he got back, he has given me several hugs and kisses over the course of the day. I was able to tell him, “I like it when we say hello and goodbye to each other [as opposed to just walking out the door without saying a real hello or goodbye]. And, he took me to the bookstore this afternoon. The bookstore is a “thing” for us. So, I feel like he’s trying.

[sunandbutterfly]

Did visualizing the volume knob on a stereo system that you talked about in a previous post help? Perhaps that would help in this situation?

Someone was telling me once that I needed to know my value instead of trying to derive it from others. One thing that helps is being a child of God. I know that I am accepted and it helps with looking for someone else to tell me my value and worth. My brain still sometimes falls into those patterns at times, but they are certainly less and weaker than before. Is it something that you can talk with your therapist about?

Hugs and please let me know if you would like to be pointed to additional resources.

[Hidden]

Having that hypersensitivity and insecurity sure does suck. I can relate somewhat to that feeling. I've had this sinking feeling the last few months that my wife is going to cheat on me when in reality there is no need for me to worry about something like that. It has made me feel very needy with her lately and am secretly disappointed whenever she wants to hang around with friends instead of me. I know its just my overactive imagination and negative thinking but I can't get this feeling to leave me.