Im feeling down in the dump

[Magicdreamer]

I'm so terrified of life and Ive pushed everyone I've ever loved away because I feel so terrible about myself. I've created an isolated world and nothing to look forward to and I feel like I'm hanging by a threat until I actually do make a plan to exit. I've never felt so alone and in despair as much as I do today. It feels like everything is against me. I have no job, no kids and I'm with my Dad and step Mom knowing that they can't love me the way I need to be loved and I feel hopeless about the future and so physically tired. I feel so closed off and like a really horrible person and I just feel that everytime I try lift my spirits, I come crashing back down. I just don't know what to do anymore. This life feels hopeless.

[Michdau1]

Your life is not worthless. You are not worthless ❤️❤️❤️ how would you like to be loved? How would you like to live? It is achievable I promise. Baby steps and support needed. You are not alone XXX

[Magicdreamer in reply to Michdau1]

I feel so alone. I feel like a college failure. Thank you for your reply, I appreciate your words but I feel like I'm in a tunnel and I have nowhere to go.

[Michdau1 in reply to Magicdreamer]

My wonderful Magic dreamer. I can relate to exactly how you are feeling. I'm sure lots of ppl in this forum can. Either now, in the past or in the future. What do u need? Can u get support from outside of your family. The Samaritans are available 24/7? I truly am thinking of u xxx

[Magicdreamer in reply to Michdau1]

Thank you. I have no more friends left so I do need to get to my sister and her kids so I'm king to make a plan cos I feel so isolated as there is no connection here with my Dad. It just keeps triggering my childhood traumas of lonliness. You're beautiful. Thank you for your words.

[Michdau1 in reply to Magicdreamer]

Thank you ❤️ Connecting with your sister and her kids is a brilliant start xxx Sounds like a great plan to me 👍 who knows what and who is around the corner from there 😉

[Magicdreamer in reply to Michdau1]

So true. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. You really helped me today so thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[Michdau1 in reply to Magicdreamer]

Xxx

[hypercat54]

Instead of saying everything terrifies you can you identify what scares you the most? is it the fear of being judged and found wanting for example? If you are finding problems with this then seeing a counsellor can be a good idea.

You come across as a nice decent person and as good as anyone else - now all you have to do is start believing it. x

[pamb67]

maybe u need to learn to love urself im sure ur not a bad person u just need to be kinder to urself and url be finex