Parenting with depression anxiety

[Mourningmule]

I’m lucky enough to have a great husband but it feels like he’s been parenting alone since she was born 5 years ago. That’s when my depression started to get so bad I couldn’t work. I’ve been having extreme anxiety panic attacks. Its very hard to take care of her and be involved in her school activities. She asked me why I’m in my room all the time. How do you deal with parenting when things are this bad? She’s having a new friend and her family over in a few hours and I’m so panicked about it I’m crying uncontrollably in my room.

[Megsamoo]

I have been feeling like this since September!! It’s so hard!! They put me on Zoloft and made it worse so have now been off of it for 3 weeks! And each is a little better then will have a set back day and cry all day!! I just want to be normal and be a parent without fears!

[limenavy]

How did it go?

Have you found any calming methods that work for you? For me, things like deep breathing, meditation, and visualization have been particularly helpful. My kids also notice when I'm not doing certain things with them, so sometimes I just force myself to go to the birthday party or school concert and make sure I start using my calming methods a couple days before the event and keep reminding myself that the things I'm scared of happening aren't likely. And even if something does happen, I can talk about it at my next counseling session.

Are there any other things you can do with your child that don't cause you to panic? Even something like making cookies together or reading a book. Sometimes our children just need some time with us to do something together. It doesn't have to be the school activities.

[Mourningmule in reply to limenavy]

Thank you. It went ok because I took medication I’m not supposed to take. I’ve become a pill popper. A xanex here and codeine here. Started smoking pot it the bathroom. I became suicidal yesterday. I really was going to take all my pills and go to sleep. Forever. I told my parents and went to their house. Handed over my meds. Psychiatrist upped my medication.

I don’t have good coping skills. I try to work on breathing. My daughter is only 5 and doesn’t really understand where I am. There are activities like you mentioned that I am able to do with her. But she’s an only child and very social. She needs these play dates. I’m trying to Han on for her. Im trying but I really want to die. Im terrified of my parents getting older and dying. They have helped me my whole life with this illness. How am I going to survive without them.

[Mourningmule in reply to Mourningmule]

I have been detoxing for a week at my parents home. I was so suicidal that they bought a safe to keep my medication in. Slowly tapering Valium for the Benzo withdraws. The panic attacks have been hell but I’m going to fight for my daughters sake. Does anyone have any other helpful ways to parent when your sick? How do you explain depression to a kindergartener?