Hi everyone I am new hear

Depression, Anxiety and Family how to you cope

[jkl5500]

Can you tell us a little more about your situation? It would help us to give you a better answer.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Well I am 63 yrs old. I have been depressed a good part of my life. My younger years were very difficult. My Mom & Dad fought every day. My Mom was a closet drinker. My Dad was a instigator and a right fighter. I am married 40yrs this june. I have 5 children, 4 boys one girl. I worked at a defense company Raytheon for 16 nyears. Was laid off in1995. Started driving 18 wheelers. in 2005 I had a accicdent. Jumped the guard rail and down a embankment for 200 feet. I went back to work for my old boss in March of 2006. I May I had a Heart Attack. Had to sell the house and had to ask 3 of my children to leave. That is when the severe depression and anxciety got woorse. Sleeping 17 hrs a day and eating very little. This is when my life turned up side down and sideways. have been hospitalized five times for this. It took 3 years to get SSDI. My wife has had complete control of my money until last year. I have a debt card and I take money for myself once a month. We live in my mother in laws home. She passed away years ago. The deed is in my wifes name and my brothers ex brother in laws name. I recently talked to a lawyer, he said if a sale of the home occurs I will get nothing. So that is my story in a nutshell at this moment. I have been looking for low income housing for myself. But I have had a chance for a place,but I may be looking at shoulder replacement surgery in a couple of months. I see a therapist once a week. I also go to suppoert meetings twice a week, One meeting is a men's group and the other is a cbt group. They help but being in the same home day in and day out does get very stress full. It is a small home with only 4 rooms. I have two of my Adult boys living with us. My oldest one is 39 and my other son is 34 and is bi polar. Neither pay rent. My wife is also a horder. The house is a disaster. My oldest has ADHD and is also a recovering alcoholic. He never talks to us about anything. I want to work things out but my wife holds all the cards. It is almost impossible to stay on a even keal. I have no privacy at all. I am sorry that this is so long but this is my life. Seeing my therapist and going to my support groups helps but when stuff happens, it would be a great thing to have a place to talk about it. Alot of times I feel so lonely and really depressed my head could burst. My daughter lives in St Louis MO. We have a great relationship but she is a 1000 miles away. I have two grandsons that I love so much. My daughter has my youngest at 1 year old. My second oldest has my older Grandson whom will be three in October. He and my daughter in law live about 30 miles away and we do not see him but maybe 5 times a year. So with all that being said you can see why I am lonely alot. Thank you

[jkl5500]

First of all, thanks for telling your story. You have come to the right place if you want to talk about the things going on in your life. There are lots of good people here.

I'm really sorry about everything that's happened to you. You have been through an enormous amount of suffering. I'm glad you're receiving therapy for all this.

You're welcome to post here anytime, and tell us how you're feeling. You can also message me anytime.

I'll keep you in my prayers. Take care.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Sorry it has taken me a while to answer back. I appreciate the words of comfort. Talking to some one who understands is a beautiful thing. My Wife always says I understand, but the words to are hollow. My 34 year old son understands be so much. Keeping him grounded is very difficult to do. He was diagnosed at 17 with Bipolar disorder. So dealing with him takes it till on me. It is very hard to keep myself grounded dealing with him. He is my Son and it is my responsibility to help him as much as possibly

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're fantastic & let no one take your power from you!!! XXX

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks I much appreciate that. It is very difficult at times. But I try to look at it this way. There is always someone worse off tha n you are. That may sound a little callous, but just think of the thousands of most unfortunate people in the 3rd world countries. They do not have clean water and food for their children. It makes me feel so insignificant at times.

[jkl5500 in reply to Hidden]

I recently was at a support group for the family of people with mental health problems. Everyone took their turn around the table to give their story of what they deal with day in and day out. Some couldn't keep from crying while they talked. So I have a good idea of the burdens you have to bear.

If your local church or community center has such a support group, it might benefit you to share your story with others in the same situation.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Thanks for the info. I really appreciate it. This forum already has been a big help. Venting your frustration is key for me.

[jkl5500]

Also, be sure to post something regularly, because we get a LOT of posts on here. That way, you latest post will be closer to the top, and it will get more attention. I'm sorry you didn't get more responses with this one. That happens sometimes.

[Lostjoy]

Hi dino6973, sounds like you’ve had quite a bit to deal with through out your life.

Are you taking any medication for your anxiety and depression?

I’ve always been somewhat of a worrier, but mine spiraled when we sold our house where we raised our kids and moved to the next state over where we know no one. I’ve driven an 18 wheeler for 18 years now. My husband and I have been team driving. We bought our own truck a few years back which has been a nightmare. We haven’t even been able to find decent health insurance since being self employed. We have decided to let the truck go back to finance due to breakdowns. My husband is now working solo for a company, and I’m taking some time off. We haven’t been good at managing money, so we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel. My anxiety is overwhelming at times. We also have 3 adult children which we now live far away from. All I want to do is go back home to be close to my family again.

I hope you find that coming here and talking about your issues with others who understand is helpful.

I haven’t been around on here too much these last few weeks, but I think it’s beneficial for me to get back into the routine of checking in more often.

Feel free to chat about whatever is on your mind at the moment.

[Hidden in reply to Lostjoy]

Hi lostjoy, Sorry it has taken me a lo ing time to respond. Sounds like you are like myself in some ways. Managing money has always been a problem with us. I have not work in 12 years. I have been on disability for 9 years. The bottom of the barrel can come oh so quickly. Have you thought about looking for a part time job? This may help you with your anxiety. Getting out and being with people always makes a difference with me. Do you think your husband may consider moving back to a area where your children are? If he is driving solo there should be job's perhaps! Where ever you may live I know that the economy is very much different. I live in the Northeast it is expensive here that is for sure. Perhaps there may be a support group you could look into! I know that getting health insurance can be stressful all by itself. Perhaps the local senior center may be able to assist you in that respect. I can understand that your anxiety can be out of control some times. Are you on any medication for That? For me anxiety can be life threatening at times. In 2016 I was having major anxiety living with the wife and with 2 of my grown children. My Wife is a border. I was feed up with the mess in the home. I ended up having a week long panic attack. I also thought I was having a heart attack. I ended up being hospitalized for 5 weeks. My 5th hospitalization in 12 years. I hope that this helps you a bit. You are not alone by any means. I found this site a couple of weeks ago. It has been very helpful. Respond when you can. Take Care of yourself and always remember we are here for you 24/7 365 days a year.

[Hidden in reply to Lostjoy]

Hi Lostjoy I forgot to talk about my medications. I have been dealing with all this since 2006. My meds have changed so much over the years. Since 2010 I have had 2 back surgeries. Also there shoulder surgeries. I have had my ulnar nerve repositioned. That nerve runs over your funny bone, so to speak. I also had a large benign cyst removed from the front of my right ear. So I have had nerve pain to deal with over the last few years. I am currently taking 6 Psychotropic medications. And 8 medications for other issues. My medications are as follows. 1) Duloxetine(Cymbalta) 60mg twice a day. For depression,Anxiety and Chronic pain. 2) Gabapentin (Neurontin) 600mg 3 times a day. It is mainly used for Nerve Pain, also for Tia's. 3) Lamotrigne (Lamictal) 100mg twice a day. Used for moods & Tia's also. 4) Trazodone 125mg at night. Used for insomina,depression & anxiety. 5) Mirtazapine ( Remeron) 30mg at night. Mainly used for depression. But it also helps me sleep better. 6) Quetiapine ( Seraquel) 25 mg, three times a day as needed for severe anxiety and mood changes. Or as I put it panic attacks. So you can see I use a lot of medication to stay on a even keep. If you have any other questions about medications feel free to ask.