New here with Rumination and living in the past

I am new here first time poster. I have depression, OCD, PTSD, Panic attacks. .. all I do is ruminate -always thinking about things that happened in the past. From a past emotional inappropriate text messaging phone call, email affair with someone that is married (yes I know very wrong which is now over and has been for over 4 years and I keep obsessing about that person. I cant let go in my brain. my brain wont let me... I try to keep myself busy with work, and other things but the thought of the past is still there.. how do I stop ? how can I get my brain to stop? I also think about other things in the past. My boyfriend's friend told me 20 years ago that depression was a made up diagnosis, he yelled at me and told me I don't deserve anything. I still think about that day too and cant let go of that as well. I am on anti-depressants, and anxiety meds I have tried therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy does not work for me. I tried therapy that was online that didn't help either. Can anyone that has rumination or understand give me tips that worked for you? it just doesn't get better. I just want my brain to let it go but nothing seems to be working. I have read so many articles about letting things go that does not work either. …

Thank you

[hypercat54]

Hi if you live in the past you live with anxiety. If you live in the future you live with worry. But if you learn to live in the present you live with balance.

You cannot change the past and you need to fully recognise this. What you need to do is learn from it and move on. The way our brains work is the more we obsess about something the more it happens and it eventually becomes a vicious circle. What you have to do is find ways of stopping this.

Distraction is a good way to stop obsessing about something. Each time you get those thoughts interrupt them and do something else. Eg watch TV, wash up, make a meal, talk to someone. etc. This is very hard at first but persevere as it does get easier over time. Once you can do this you can start to look outward rather than inward.

Have a look at mindfulness (google it - lots of info) which teaches you to stay in the present. You might also need face to face counselling but not CBT. Some form of talking therapy. x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Yeah I’ve tried mindfulness I’ve tried yoga when my ocd takes over its hard to redirect my focus and then I get panic attacks

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

You get panic attacks when you try and think of the present? x

[Hidden]

Wow...you sound exactly like me...it is a terrible way to live isn’t it. May I ask what anti depressant you take?