Scared of myself

[Mdrobinson991]

So I'm not sure where to even begin. I just need be heard by someone who gets it and vent to. Without a thousand questions. I've been having suicidal thoughts. Not because I want to die and I don't have plans to kill myself. They just come to me and they are terrifying. I'm working on getting on help and being more honest about how I feel but my family doesn't quite understand it and get nervous when I try to talk about it. They worry I'm planning something and just not telling them. I feel so alone sometimes. I want a hug not a body check for cuts you know.

[JAYnLA]

I totally get this. I have ideation sometimes but wouldn’t say that I actually want to die. I don’t. I want to feel better. I think that I actually have a fear that my anxiety could lead me there more than I am concerned that I am actually suicidal. Maybe you can relate.

[Kat63]

You have come to the right place - there are people here who have felt the same way and had the same experiences. We won’t try to hush you up like “normal” people do.

[Tyler1234]

I also understand. I use to have these thoughts.

I’d be driving sometimes and I’d just see myself crashing my car into something, but that’s not what I actually want to happen for myself. Some things just become too much for us and our minds tells us that, the easy way out is to end our lives when deep down we know that’s not the solution and not something we want for ourselves either.

You have to find a way to let every thought/pain you feel out. My anxiety just kept getting worse and worse because I wasn’t actually letting all my emotions out, but when I did I found my trigger and eliminated it. You need to find your triggers and eliminate them. I know it’s easy said then done, but once done a whole load of weight should be lifted off your shoulders.

I hope you overcome this because I know it’s horrible.

God bless

[colemanpm]

Thanks for joining us! I'm glad you are here. Keep posting.

[Nom-D-Ploom]

I think a lot of people feel that way. Standing on a cliff and feeling that we might jump. Not because we want to...it is just a thought. Some people feel an urge to pull a fire alarm when they are near one. They don't want to, they just wonder.....Maybe these thoughts are a way of "boiling away " the random thoughts and urges......maybe the thought of things we would not want to act on let us release the idea? Talking about it may also help diffuse the thoughts.

[art62grammie]

I have seen your post from 2 months ago. I am not suicidal either. I have had a thought such as you run through my brain a few times. My doctor told me it is normal for people of any kind to have these thoughts occasionally. We do not try anything or contemplate on the thought. When you need to be more concerned is if you have cut the rope and attempt to proceed. Suicide is not the answer. Those we leave behind suffer more than any other death. So you probably are normal. What is that right?