Anyone need to talk ?

[DistressedPoe]

If anyone needs someone to listen right now, just message me. I'm sort of bored rn and a bit lonely. Wouldn't hurt to make a new friend and help them out if they're stressed.

[Beestill]

I’m new. Been searching for anything to help. I’m lost in fear and negative self thoughts.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Beestill]

Hehe I sent u a message. Feel free to talk whenever. I'll listen

[kenster1]

hi nice of you to reach out hugely respected.

[DistressedPoe in reply to kenster1]

Heh it's nothing. These past few days the only way I've been able to cope is talk to people and calm myself down and sorry of just...realise how ridiculously anxious I'm being over nothing. Thought someone else might need it too. Happy to help.

Plus I'm feeling lonely bcs I'm in a new country and my friends are all far away :/

[kenster1 in reply to DistressedPoe]

what country did you move to and from where.

[DistressedPoe in reply to kenster1]

Heh. Malaysia to Brunei. College ended, I've got 6 months before uni so moved in with my family for a bit. But it's been hard bcs everyone's busy, I'm mostly idle, and I guess I've been overthinking. And the ONE person I wanna talk to is flooded with uni workload he can barely spare a minute to eat. Sigh.

[kenster1 in reply to DistressedPoe]

why don't you get a part time job to help with the boredom till uni starts.or even do something active like swimming or the gym just to break up your week.

[DistressedPoe in reply to kenster1]

I already work out. Sigh. Little bored of it tbh. Can't get a job here bcs I just got here and my Visa's pretty short. No place here to swim.

I COULD try smtg active but I guess I'm just stuck in this hole of overthinking, self doubt, fear and anxiety. It's hard to want to do anything. I kind of just...don't like it here. It's a small town and it's kinda dead. I don't even know anyone here my age bros have school and their own friends and work. I feel somewhat jealous tbh.

[kenster1 in reply to DistressedPoe]

sounds like a place I would love to live cant beat the quietness some people used the hustle and bustle of city life find it hard adjusting.

[DistressedPoe in reply to kenster1]

I mean I'm from a city. Grew up in one. With millions of things to do, public transport everywhere. Crowded places. A lot of friends. It's hard here bcs there's so few people (the population is pretty small) and they're all old doctors like my parents or engineers. Their kids are either too small or already off to uni overseas. It's just...really lonely here. I kind of just wanna leave

[CCRae13 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Yep if there was an overthinkers anonymous I would join it. That’s my biggest thing, I’m so in my head and often complicate things that don’t need complicating. Yeah sometimes things are just hard but I struggle to just be present! To just be who I am right now, where I am right now, and know that I’m doing all I can and for that to just be enough.

[DistressedPoe in reply to CCRae13]

Y'know what. Just try and remind yourself that. Tell yourself you're fine and that you're okay. There's a little something I always tell myself.

"I am who I am and I am just fine. I may not be perfect but I'm doing alright."

We will always overthink stuff and feel bad about things and feel agitated but always remember, things are never as amplified as we think. Heck, they're actually very much trivial. Yeah it's hard but...if you're a good person and you're doing your best, that's all that matters. The "what ifs" can be tough but always ask "what if it doesn't".

And if all else fails, my bro always tells me to close my eyes and think of a sound. Just a single sound. And focus on that sound. Focus on just imagining it. And everything else will leave your mind. Think about that thought once, focus on the sound, and make it leave. It'll help you calm down.

[CCRae13 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Thank you for that, I read what you said about the sound and that’s something I’ve never thought of. But you’re right too I can’t think of a time I’ve asked myself what if it goes right or what if it isn’t like that.

[DistressedPoe in reply to CCRae13]

I thought of that a few days ago. I was so fixated on what will go wrong I decided to imagine what if it DIDN'T happen ? How life would be. I listed down who I really wanted myself to be : myself minus the overthinking. And what I wanted to do. And every weird thought I had I decided to flip it to smtg I wanted. It helped a bunch.

Yeah the sound thing is pretty new to me. Mental health issues run in my family so that's how my lil bro dealt with his anxiety. A little heart to heart with him genuinely helped.

There's smtg else too. Tell someone about your overthinking. They'll tell you it's impossible..and it'll give you reassurance. That isn't full proof but it's a good start to recognise what's likely and what isn't

[Marshall64 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Overthinking is my bane. I'm constantly in my head. I can't live in the moment because I'm either worrying about the future or keep thinking about something stupid I did in the past.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Marshall64]

Hey. I know it's hard. But always remind yourself you're better now and better than your past.

Try distracting yourself. My brother told me something he does to help his overthinking : close your eyes and imagine a sound. A single sound. And focus on it. It'll clear your head. And you'll be able to stop thinking too much on one thing. It helps

[Marshall64 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Thanks. I'll try that.

[hd287]

Hey. On a downward spiral all morning.

[DistressedPoe in reply to hd287]

I'll message you ? You can talk more comfortably then

[Kat63]

Hi there. I’m feeling anxious, but less so than usual. I just applied for a bunch of jobs, and put in my weekly information for unemployment. I’m so ashamed of being unemployed.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Kat63]

Heyyy there's no shame in being unemployed. My dad was for some time too bcs they were letting people off due to the economy but...now he's got an even better job. He's so much happier. You will be too.

What are you anxious about ?

[Kat63 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Well, I’m in the U.S., where people are taught to value ourselves based on our jobs.

I’m anxious because I’m afraid of the future. What if I don’t find another job?

I’m also anxious because I’m moving in a few days. I will be moving back in with my boyfriend. Long story short: we had a long happy relationship, then had some problems and I moved out - and now we have agreed to try again.

So, my mind is doing all the “what if?” questions.

I know I have to stop worrying about the future, and just do what I can one day at a time. Keep applying for jobs. Make the effort to be the best person I can be, in this relationship. But I have trouble staying in the moment.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Kat63]

I get how you feel. All these what ifs. All this overthinking. I do it too.

You're going through a hard time but hey, look at this : you're TRYING. You're fighting your what ifs by

a) applying for many jobs and trying super hard to find one so you're bound to get one. And

b) you're trying again with your bf. You wanna make sure you don't make the same mistakes and you're trying to be better. Yeah it won't always be perfect but nothing ever really is and THAT'S OKAY. because you're still trying. And as long as you're trying, you're fighting that's all you need. Keep at it. Tell your brain, "hey I know you like to bother me but what if I GET the job ? What if my bf and I have a better relationship ? What if things get better ?"

You'll always get negative thoughts but keeps reminding yourself: they're just thoughts. Not reality. Thoughts are meaningless. So try your very best to just ignore. It's hard, but the more you try, the more likely they are to reduce.

[Kat63 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Thank you. That was a great answer!

[Marshall64 in reply to Kat63]

I can relate to what you are saying. I was laid off from my job at the end of 2017 for a few months until I got called back to work. I felt embarrassed about being unemployed and it was weird seeing people going to and coming back from work. Hopefully something will come for way. Hang in there.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Marshall64]

Hopefully. Uni starts in 6 months so I'll be okay then. I just need to survive these few months without spiralling. I'm literally overthinking everything.

[Hidden]

I’m new. Thank for the positive support, just knowing someone is willing to listen helps a lot.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Hey anytime. If you wanna talk just talk here I'll listen

[Hidden]

What has you lonely?

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Just...moved in with my family for a bit in a new country. We're in a small town. And I don't have any friends here. Just lost in my thoughts, overthinking all day. It's tough.

[Hidden in reply to DistressedPoe]

I can understand that as I have moved away as well and have no friends either. I came on this to try get a bit of help but you can talk to me if you want to because I am the same as you after moving away

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Ah I see...so how've you been feeling ? I just always keep in contact with my friends and talk to them. Make sure I feel less alone. And I always sit with my brother. So that I'd have company.

[Hidden in reply to DistressedPoe]

I haven’t felt great since moving away because all of my friends turned on me a couple of weeks after I moved away so I literally have nobody anymore. It is good that you keep in contact with your friends and sit with your brother to keep you company

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Aww hey well. You've got us on here. You can talk to us anytime

Honestly it's still tough bcs they're not physically there. Especially my bf. So it's tough but hey...I can't make friends here bcs there's no one my age around here (everyone's already gone overseas for uni) but I'm sure you can make new friends !! For starters, I'll be your friend even if you don't know me AHAHHAHA

[Hidden in reply to DistressedPoe]

I actually came on here in the hope of making new friends. I can understand that it is tough but at least you hear from them which is better than not hearing from anybody because you know that they are still there. Maybe try join some groups for people your age to make some new friends. We certainly can be friends even though we don’t know each other and chances are we aren’t in the same country 😂😂 but we can still be friends no harm in that

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Ahahhaa which country are u in ? Also, we don't need to know each other to be friends. Just talking to someone, being kind, not judging them and sharing things already makes someone a friend. Dw you'll find more real life friends too ^_^

Also, yeah I could but idk any over here. Tbh it really is a small town with nothing around 😂😂 but it's ok. I'll be fine.

[Hidden in reply to DistressedPoe]

I’m in Ireland where are you? No we don’t have to know each other is right but talking is enough for us to be friends. I hope you will find friends though that you can go out and meet up with it and you will soon it just does take time. I moved a few months ago and still don’t know anybody so it just takes different amounts of time for everybody. I know what that is like living in a small town 😂😂 but even in the small towns there is always something to do you just have to do a bit of digging to find that out.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Ooo I'm in Brunei. Ugh. Its tiring tbh. Not that I hate the place. It's quite beautiful. But what's the point if you don't have friends to enjoy it with ?

I hope I DOOO. Honestly it'd feel great to find people to relate to. So that I can finally get out of my mind and relax for a bit.

[Hidden in reply to DistressedPoe]

That’s a pity but it was unlikely that we are in the same country but even if we were are I wouldn’t actually know you if I was to walk past you since I haven’t actually seen you before. I know how you feel because you don’t know anybody but just do a little digging because there will be something that you can go to you just have to find it and you will find it and it will help you to find people in your area that you can relate to so do a bit of digging around and you will find something.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Hidden]

Hopefully I do. Though honestly I've tried and there's not much. There are clubs but they're so damn expensive. But yeah I'll do a little more and find something. Anything to get me out of this spiral of overthinking and stressing myself out. These things sound so ridiculous in my head I can't even. I hope you find stuff to do and become a little less lonely too.

Hey, is 1999 random or is it your birth year bcs I was born in 1999 too !

[Hidden in reply to DistressedPoe]

You will find something I know you will. Yeah things are expensive but you just have to keep looking. Anything will help you out and to stop thinking that way. I am always here though if you want to send me a message to have a chat. Thanks I am trying to find something myself to do getting out is hard for me because the panic attacks happen more often when I go out so that is why I am trying to find something to do because I have nobody to talk to so. That is why I came on this as well. Yes 1999 is the year I was born. Haha 😂 so we are the same age then 😂 we would be able to understand each other a bit better then since we are the same age