Fearful after having a stroke

[Denalikidali]

Hi to you all! I am grateful for such a wonderful forum to be able express my thoughts and concerns. I had a stroke which effected my right side (unfortunately I’m right handed). I had to start my life over pretty much right away after the stroke because of situation with my husband. I had to move with my teenage son which meant I had to push through and get a car and get a job and take care of everything myself. My anxiety set in about a month after my stroke when I started having fears about dying. Having this sword of Damocles hanging over me is really scary since I had no risk factors prior to my stroke and the doctors don’t know why I had a stroke. How my anxiety manifests itself is a very heavy painful feeling across my back into my shoulders. It’s sort of like having the weight of the world on my shoulders. I worry that I’m going to get sick again and I worry that if I die I haven’t been good enough during my life. I’m trying to keep moving forward but I’m having a difficult time finding happiness. I just wish that I had someone to take care of me just once in awhile. This is all so hard to bear alone. I’m trying not to put stress on my son and be a good mom. He’s been so sweet and caring but it is not his job to take care of me. I just wish I could see a future but it’s so difficult just trying to smile for my son and at work. How do I move past this fear? How do I find happiness amidst all of this uncertainty? I’m seeing a therapist every week but It’s not enough I guess.

[Kat63]

It must be awful to feel this anxiety and fear and feel like you have to deal with it alone.

Exactly what kind of treatment are you getting with the therapist? CBT is supposed to be good for anxiety. Mindfulness techniques can be helpful. And consider the possibility of medicines for anxiety and depression.

[Denalikidali in reply to Kat63]

I’m getting cognitive behavior therapy. I tried about five different prescriptions after my stroke to deal with the anxiety but unfortunately every single one zoomed me up worse, giving me raised blood pressure, even Xanax. So I’ve had to go without.

[Kat63 in reply to Denalikidali]

That’s too bad. I wish I had more ideas for you.