Needing Support

[greenidentity]

My reason for this post is no different from anyone else's, I hope you can bear with me.

I have been suffering Generalized Anxiety Disorder for years, but have been able to manage it on my own using CBT and self-care. Recently it has been more severe than ever, in response to elevated stress at work. Yesterday, it was so bad I actually called an ambulance because I thought I was in danger. I could not get my anxiety under control all day, it felt awful.

Am I ever going to go back to my "normal" self (with some anxiety, but manageable?) I have avoided medication, because I know it can present another set of risks, so I am afraid of that. I just need some hope that I will have peace of mind and clarity again. I should mention that I live in a cold weather climate right now and we are having a long, brutal winter, which I am sure has a lot to do with this!

Thanks for listening.

[JAYnLA]

There is certainly a road through these problems, Green. If you're set against medication, I'd like to suggest downloading the audiobooks by Dr. Claire Weekes. They are very helpful in times like what you're describing. I fought medication for years, but things got too bad (lots of trips to the ER) so I cried uncle and I'm now giving them a shot. I think they're helping. Thanks for opening up with us.

[greenidentity in reply to JAYnLA]

Thank you, what are you taking may I ask? Sorry if that's personal, I am just curious about others experiences.

[JAYnLA in reply to greenidentity]

I'm on week 6 of sertraline. I think it's making a difference. I'm also taking Ativan at the moment because of the increased anxiety from starting the new med. I will be weaning off of the Ativan soon.

[greenidentity in reply to JAYnLA]

I am going to try Ativan for the first time. Do you take it as needed? I am going to speak to my doctor on how I should take it, but I am curious about it, it scares me a little bit!

[JAYnLA in reply to greenidentity]

Yes, it needs to be used as sparingly as possible. It is addictive - probably because it works so well. The key is to use it as little as you can while still getting help from it. I'm sure your doc will go over it. Let me know what he or she says - I'd be interested.

[greenidentity in reply to JAYnLA]

Thanks for your help! I have anxiety about getting addicted to medication so I am not sure if I will end up taking any.

[JAYnLA in reply to greenidentity]

It's definitely a personal choice. I wasn't thrilled about it but couldn't go on as I was.

[Coralrose5 in reply to JAYnLA]

I listened the Claire Weekes today and I found it helpful even just to hear her voice, but what she’s saying makes sense.

[leanneski]

Hi Greenidentity,

Sorry to hear your having a tough time at the moment and hope your feeling a bit better than you were yesterday. I think if you are feeling like you may be a danger to yourself you should really seek advice from your GP. This may not necessarily mean medication, although if needed meds aren’t always bad they can really help get people through a crisis. They could refer you for therapy or psychiatric support. They could also do some tests to find out if you are deficient in anything like vitaminD or B12. Xx

[greenidentity in reply to leanneski]

Thank you. I don't feel a danger to myself, I just felt like my health was in danger. I was having a bad panic attack and was unable to rationalize. I have a therapist and Dr. I communicate with pretty closely, I have several health issues I take supplements and meds for currently

[leanneski in reply to greenidentity]

Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant. I hope you find the support you need none the less x

[greenidentity in reply to leanneski]

No worries at all! I just wanted the chance to clarify. Thank you so much for the encouragement. This has really helped me out today

[leanneski in reply to greenidentity]

No problem, glad to help 👍

[kenster1]

hi and welcome to you well you have my support and the support of many on here.having anxiety is hard but when its elevated through work stress it can be even more difficult.can you speak to your boss and tell them how you are feeling then hopefully you can have your work load reduced.what about holiday maybe you need a few days off doing nothing but relaxing.spring not far away as well I hope things improve for you as the weather gets better.

[greenidentity in reply to kenster1]

Thank you! That feels really nice to hear. I have FMLA leave for work, and I have used 2 days in the last week. However, using it only makes me feel more anxious because I know that me missing work is not a good thing, as it decreases overall productivity. So I feel more and more pressured and guilty. I am really hoping that this is a phase and that the changing weather will level things out a bit.

[kenster1 in reply to greenidentity]

lets hope it is a phrase.the days that you do have off why don't you do something that you enjoy it gives you something to look forward too.missing work seems unthinkable to many like my last job but our wellbeing is more important.

[greenidentity in reply to kenster1]

I do try to make the best of the days, bit sometimes I don't feel well enough to do much of anything. I also suffer Chronic Fatigue so energy is another ongoing issue for me. I understand what you mean though...I should not feel guilty if I need to take that time...but I still do feel guilty anyways! lol

[purl1]

Hi greenidentity, I too suffer from anxiety and have been having a bad day. I don't know if we will ever get back to "normal". just wanted to let you know your not alone. I was going to post looking for support also. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I am stuck in this winter too and I just can't wait for spring. I hope it will make a difference. being stuck in the house all the time really stinks.

[greenidentity in reply to purl1]

I am sorry you are also struggling! I am crossing my fingers that it's 75% the weather, and I will be able to look back on this winter and laugh!

[bluestars725]

Hi, welcome. I also suffer from generalized anxiety disorder (as well as depression). Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I've been on this forum for almost four months, and I have found it to be a great source of support. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. My GAD has gotten worse as well, so I understand how difficult it can be. Hope you find support and encouragement here.

[greenidentity in reply to bluestars725]

Oh no i am sorry to hear you also are struggling. I'm glad to know this is a good place to come...I wasn't too sure what to expect! I would be glad to hear more about your experience with GAD, if you ever feel like sharing.

[bluestars725 in reply to greenidentity]

When I was diagnosed with GAD, it was a small relief to know that the constant worry, anxiousness, inability to focus, etc. was for a reason, and not something I could just "get over" (I heard that a lot from people around me, and sometimes still do). It definitely inhibits my ability to just get through the day a lot. I do occasionally have stretches where it feels a bit more manageable, so I take hope in that. I hope you find your clarity and peace of mind soon. For me, GAD (and depression) make that clarity very foggy.

[greenidentity in reply to bluestars725]

I like your perspective on it a lot! Seeing it as a reason to explain symptoms, vs. something that makes you bad. I have to remind myself that there is more to me than my GAD, I have other things about me that define me and the GAD diagnosis is only a part of it. Thank you for the wonderful reminder!

[bluestars725 in reply to greenidentity]

You're welcome

[HappyChi]

I'm thinking of you and hope you find what you need. I cant help because Im going tru it right now but I am here feeling for you.

[Redheaded-girl]

I am so sorry to hear that you had to deal with this and I hope today was better. I understand your concerns with taking medication. I never wanted to either, but I got to a point where I was so severely depressed, I basically didn't have a choice. I also deal with generalized anxiety and massive depression disorder and I completely know just how brutal it can be. I have actually been dealing with a lot recently, to where I have had a panic attack, basically every day since last Saturday. I had to call my doctor and get the medicine I was taking for over two years, switched to something else because sometimes after a while, your body gets use to it and it needs tweaked. I am definitely not going to sit here and tell you "just take the medicine" but I will say, my doctor was very good at listening to my concerns and helping me find something.

I also have recently began therapy again, in hopes of finding new ways to cope and handle things when it gets out of control. I have had a lot of episodes lately, where I actually am scared I would make a choice, that I can't regret because I wouldn't be here. I just want you to know, that you're not alone and I think reaching out, is awesome because it shows the strength, that I am sure you might not be told you have. My best advice is to maybe call your doctor and just have an honest conversation with them. Tell them everything and see what could possibly be done to help. Hope this gives something positive light to your day!

[greenidentity in reply to Redheaded-girl]

Thank you! Yea I’m hesitant about meds, but one thing I know is that my anxiety isn’t typically this severe. I go to therapy and have seen the same therapist for years, same with my regular Dr. I told my doc everything and he prescribed a small amount of lorazepam for me to try. I am going to save it for my next emergency like I had yesterday. Thank you for sharing your perception and I’m sorry you have to deal with both anxiety and depression!

[Redheaded-girl in reply to greenidentity]

That's awesome! It sounds like you're really trying to get a grasp on this, which I admire so much. I am hoping one day, I can get to a point, where mine are used as needed and not a yes, I need them type of thing. Here is to hoping for nothing but bright, happy and cheerful days! <3