I have a friend who is very passionate about her beliefs and comes off very intimidating.

[DemureRose]

So this girl is kind of a new friend in my circle. I’ve known her a year or two but we became friends this year. It took me a long time to like her because she came off very opinionated and loud which to anyone with anxiety is often something that turns you off a person. Or at least for me it is. But I got to know her and she is a good person. Still really loud and opinionated but until recently it hadn’t bothered me. Well I disagreed with her the other day and was at the butt end of her...loudness? Disagreement? I’m not sure the word. It was horrible. I know she didn’t meant it rudely but I just felt really attacked and I started to have an anxiety attack. I think it was a mixture of shock from her so quickly disagreeing, her practically yelling at me which caused a scene and that it was being done by someone who’s my friend. Either way I couldn’t say anything and just picked at my nails. I haven’t been able to forget it since. I am so scared to talk about my beliefs or opinions now because of how she will react. I think I’ve always been kinda scared of her in a way because of how unpredictable she was. The amount of times I have just pretended to agree with her because I didn’t want to upset her is uncountable. I guess I really don’t have a question in this. I was just hoping some of you may have a friend who’s similar and maybe help me see if I can ever get to a point to not be afraid of upsetting her.

[hypercat54]

Hi this is a problem isn't it. If you want to still be her friend then you are going to need to tell her this is a problem. Tell her you are entitled to your beliefs and you will state them and that you will just have to agree to differ. Refuse to get into arguments with her and remind her that it's just a debate and encourage her to pick her battles.

To be honest unless she is worth it in other ways I would drop her. None of us need combatative people in our lives do we. x

[DemureRose in reply to hypercat54]

I’m kinda glad you gave the advice to drop her. She’s moving next year and I have had no emotion to it. No sadness or dread. Really I was kinda relieved even before this happened. But she is torn up about it and said I was her best friend so I’ve been feeling guilty. So it’s nice to feel like I’m not a horrible person lol. Thank you!

[hypercat54 in reply to DemureRose]

You are definitely not a horrible person but just remember it's not your role in life to rescue people from themselves. You need to put yourself first and if it's bothering you then distance yourself and let the friendship drift away gradually.

That's what I am currently doing with a friend who turns everything I say into 'it's not true and you are too sensitive to criticism.' I hate my feelings being denied and besides I know when I am being over sensitive and when I am not!

This person is training as a counsellor too... oh dear. She won't get very far with an attitude like that x

[Kat63]

She doesn’t sound like a person I would want to be close to, if she gets that upset about people disagreeing with her. I would say, still be her friend, but try to have some other friends who are more understanding.

[Hidden]

She may know that she has this problem and it might help your anxiety if you ask her sensitively if she is ok. Remember anxiety comes in many forms and her quickness to defend her opinion, could actually also be anxiety. You never know it could be beneficial to both of you to understand each other