Felt an attack coming on, so here I a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Felt an attack coming on, so here I am for the very first time.

Antwaun
Antwaun

So, I can’t believe I’m here. Tonight I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and my next therapy session isn’t till next week Tuesday. I’m a bit of a veteran when it comes to this anxiety and depression. Officially, I was diagnosed a few years back, but this stuff goes way back to my teens. Maybe even earlier. I am so used to the “pens and needles”, the rapid heart beating and the chest pains, but that doesn’t take away the fear. Each attack has me scared out of my mind that “this one time might be different”. That there might be something wrong with my heart or another major organ. I am probably totally responsible for the destruction of a whole forest with the amount of EKG’s I’ve had performed. But what is one to do when he feels so many physical symptoms? Sometimes I feel like I have no control over my own body and mind. Who am I kidding? I feel like that almost all of the time. Does anyone else ever feel cursed? Or like maybe you’re paying for some horrible thing you did or didn’t do in this life or a previous one? I know, I’m a bit of a drama king. But I feel a little better though, finding this site and rambling to perfect strangers. Thank you in advance for listening to me. I really mean that. Thank you so much because tonight I feel so alone.

17 Replies
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Hi Antwaun, you are definitely not alone my friend. We have all felt like you

do at one time or another. Anxiety can be a vicious monster if we allow it to be.

Once those physical symptoms start to appear, unfortunately our mind goes along

for the ride and contributes to the fear. Once our mind is going 100mph, the symptoms

continue and may even accelerate because our fear is bringing our adrenaline to high

levels.

Anxiety does not have to be a life time sentence. I know from my own experience

that after suffering years of chronic, severe anxiety, it went into years of Agoraphobia.

During that time I was home bound, I worked on myself through therapy as well as

finding other methods that could relax my body and mind. I also turned to a book

written by Dr. Claire Weekes' "Hope & Help for your Nerves". A book that I had

tucked into my bookcase and forgot I had it. That was the turning point Antwaun.

Dr. Weekes' theory on Acceptance being the key to success in going forward, got

me motivated in the right direction.

Using all these tools got me out of the house again which then led to my recovery

from anxiety. Whenever a symptom(s) came along, I laughed at this lame excuse

for a bully. Who was Anxiety to take away my control, my freedom to do what I

wanted to do. Once you start thinking more positively, anxiety will and does back

off. It's a coward. It plays this game with us, but once we make the right move forward,

it backs off and we WIN. And you will too. I'm glad you are here with us. Welcome to

this amazing forum. :) xx

Antwaun
Antwaun in reply to Agora1

Thank you. Your reply made me smile and feel empowered at the same time. And I will certainly be looking up “Hope & Help for your Nerves”, first thing tomorrow morning.

mrpaul123
mrpaul123 in reply to Agora1

Love this. Thanks

You came to the right place for some comfort and to be heard.

Yea, I think I did. I’m actually smiling right now.

I dont feel cursed, but I certainly feel like karma is working OT on me sometimes. And when I think or realize its karma, I dont fight it. I had it coming...right???

Don’t think that way. I’m sure you don’t deserve anything that you’re going through.

I know what you mean. There have been times I've had anxiety and it was like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs n got scared I was suffocating. I found lots of different tricks and ways to help myself through it. For me, I would chew gum if it was accessible and I would have perfume, or some other scent that was familiar, and I could spray it or I would sniff the top and it being familiar really helped.

I also would try breathing in for 10 seconds, holding for 7, and breathing out for 10. Even when it felt like it couldn't catch my breath, it would help. You can use any set of numbers, but it gets your mind off your anxiety and onto counting.

Know that you aren't crazy and this disease does NOT have to run your life. You are strong for getting up everyday and fighting this. You WILL overcome this!! My inbox is always open if you need to talk! I hope you have a blessed night! 😊

Antwaun
Antwaun in reply to XxdaydreamxX

I appreciate your words. More than you know. Thank you!

I have a fear that I’m being punished and cursed all the time. But I’m told in therapy and others that is not true. The panic can do crazy things on our body. A few years ago my doctor was convinced I had MS. Turns out my depression and anxiety got so bad, my mind/body created psycho sematic (sp?) symptoms of a disease I didn’t even know it about. It’s terrifying how depression and anxiety can cause our bodies to get sick. Thank you for sharing.

Antwaun
Antwaun in reply to Caseopia

It is terrifying. Thank you for listening.

I can totally relate to you.

Congratulations on being proactive about getting through your anxiety! A lot of times when you’re in a support chat, you’re gonna hear a lot of the same cliches over and over again, such as “I know that feeling... etc.” and “Youll get through this... etc.” and “you should be seeing a psychiatrist and therapist about this...” but remember there is some truth in all those things that’s why they’re repeated so often.

Here are some things I find helpful when I’m having anxiety and probably somethings you already know:

1. Clenching ice cubes

2. Drinking cold water, fast like if you just did an intense workout and you’re extremely thirsty.

3. Go someplace quiet (I understand thats not always possible)

4. Deep breathing (that’s the one everyone always says that I’m like “if I can remember to do that whole

I’m panicking... then sure!”)

5. Mock anxiety attacks (this is something I do, helps me practice what might happen in a stressful situation so I’m mentally prepared.)

6. Be prepared in situations that cause your anxiety that you HAVE to participate in (like know your exits are, know where the bathroom

Is, sit close to the exits, know when it’s okay to leave if you need to...

7. Consider limiting situations that cause anxiety that you don’t have to participate

8. Also another important thing, LEARN what sets you off and what your symptoms are and how they progress.

It’s good to have a list of things you know that helps and keep updating it and adding to it and reviewing it.

I hope that you can someday gain enough resiliency that you can fend off your bully more consistently!!!!! 🙂

Antwaun
Antwaun in reply to imasleep123

You have a very interesting list of tips. Some I’ve heard before, but some I haven’t, like the one about the ice and drinking cold water really fast. The thing I’m really familiar with but can’t seem to master is knowing what sets me off. It’s difficult because I rarely have an attack when I’m actually feeling stressed or angry. They usually come on when I’m feeling okay for the most part. Well, my mind never shuts off. I always have random, sad thoughts weighing on me and then “BOOM”, it happens. But thank you for your advice. I will most definitely try the ice and cold water tips.

imasleep123
imasleep123 in reply to Antwaun

Yeah my therapist just told me about the ice trick, she said to keep a bottle

Of ice cubes with me when I go places. It’s mostly a distraction from the physical symptoms. and the cold water one was one I thought of because I just get really thirsty for some reason when I’m having panic attacks, my therapists have said that it’s because of the stress response, it dehydrates you. I find it forces me to slow down my breathing when I’m having panic attacks.

It sounds like you have at least a starting point:

1) when you’re feeling okay

2) random sad thoughts

3) not when angry

4) not when stressed.

And symptoms:

1) mind never shutting off

That’s something!!!! 👍👍👍

I always have these thoughts, and came to this forum for the same thing and I can reassure that you are not alone no matter how often your mind tries to convince of that. This forum made me realize that ☺️ I hope you find comfort in it as much as I have so far

I feel you and i am happy you are reaching out. Big hugs to you.

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