Hi everybody

[expressingdepression]

Hi everybody, i’m 20 years old and i’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was about 14. My depression episodes seem to be on and off throughout the years but anxiety I struggle with daily. I’m a constant over-thinker and I don’t know to stop it. I’m a sensitive person and I over analyze every little thing that people say to me. I used to be good with people but over the last few years my social anxiety has gotten the best of me. I try to change myself so I fit in at work but I still feel like people don’t like me. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for me to fit in, i’m not sure if it’s just me trying too hard or if the sensitivity is kicking in but I feel like i’m not as good as a people person as my coworkers. I’m an introvert and I work at a car dealership so maybe it’s the wrong career choice but I just want to grow and change myself for the better. I just don’t know where to start and the over thinking and over analyzing is getting the best of me and i’m starting to not even recognize myself anymore. I think i’m probably too wrapped up in what others think of me to even try to be myself. I feel like i’m constantly being judged and I think i’m scared to open up to people. I need advice.

[brokenlight]

I don’t have advice... but I know it can be difficult to open up & reach out, so great job for doing both.

I hope you find the support, comfort, & connection you need here in this space.

[gerg]

I hear what you are saying and I have experienced some of the same things. This type of thinking ruined my life and took me to my bottom. I was not fortunate enough to have the understanding that you have, so I think that you have some hope.

I had to work on a lot of different things to change my life. The foundation of my changes was focused on irrational thoughts. I used Rational Emotive Therapy to alter my thought process.

I am struggling a bit today so I cannot do much more than to let you know that you are not alone. You are welcome to look at replies that I have given others to get some insight into what I would be posting, if I could.

[Jeff1943]

As an outsider I think you are frightening yourself half to death every 5 minutes. You are monitoring your feelings too much. Too much introspection is not helpful.

Who cares what people think of you, what matters is what you think of yourself. Do your best, be your best, and if others don't recognise it dismiss them as fools.

You need to stop fighting. Now. Constantly fighting your anxiety only causes more stress and more strain. Your exhausted nervous system needs less stress and strain not more.

Instead of fighting and struggling with the strange unwanted feelings simply accept them for the time being. Strange thoughts are harmless, we all have them from time to time. They only become a problem if we act on them.

So do nothing. No more fighting, no more constantly analysing. Let the strange thoughts and bad feelings come, let them wash over and past you. They are not important, they are worthless. They cannot harm you, only you can do that. Do not invest them with importance they do not deserve.

We all become depressed at having anxiety some time, do not trouble yourself about it, when your anxiety yields the depression will resolve.

And all you have to do is simply accept the feelings for the time being and do nothing.

What you need is a plan. An exit plan. A plan that will lead you out of the dark place towards the broad sunlit uplands. Many years before you were born a young woman psychiatrist was experiencing anxiety disorder. She worked out a method of recovery based on 'acceptance for the time being' as a way of stopping the fear and negative energy on which anxiety feeds. It worked. So she spent the rest of her life helping others with anxiety through her consultations, writings, lecture and latterly YouTube videos.

Today, her teachings continue to bring respite and recovery to untold thousands. Her first book which describes her Acceptance method is titled 'Self help for your nerves' in the u.k. and 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the u.s. Both available new or used from Amazon or Ebay. Her name was Claire Weekes.

You won't feel this way for the rest of your life. But you need an exit plan.

You were good with people once, you can be good with them again.

[expressingdepression in reply to Jeff1943]

You are so right, thank you for your thoughtful response.I just get so wrapped up in other people’s opinions of me it’s hard to just let go and tell myself to stop hanging on every word. Like I said, i’ve always had anxiety and depression on and off but lately it’s gotten so bad I don’t know what to do with myself. I think a lot of it stems from me having low self-worth and I know I need to work on stopping myself from obsessing over little things. It’s just a lot easier said than done.

[gerg in reply to expressingdepression]

The irrational self talk allows others to control your self worth. Others control your emotional stability and without their input your feelings are almost always negative.

I think that this is a form of emotional subjugation, giving away the control of your emotions. The result is that even positive things carry negative emotions. I worked on the skill of being able to change my perspective. I now seek a view of things that serves me.

[Needtovent in reply to expressingdepression]

You are quite insightful for your age. I’ve been an over thinker my entire life. I think for some, it is how we are wired. It is the degree to which it becomes interfering in our lives, that we need to be aware of. Jeff’s suggestions are ones I am working on. With you’re insight, I think you should consider checking out Dr Weekes approach. Best wishes.

[Jeff1943 in reply to expressingdepression]

Claire Weekes wrote that her method could bring recovery no matter how long or how deeply you have suffered. Her books have received 1,600 reader reviews on amazon.com and amazon.co.uk in the last few years alone. 90% of those reviews rate her method Very Good or Excellent.

[LadyO4]

I am so sorry your fear of yourself has become this paralyzing. I wish there was a switch that could turn off your self-condemnation. There is a better measuring stick to evaluate your worth.

Have you ever done a personality profile test? There are quite a few out now, but it seems to me that what you perceive as your weakness could in fact really be your strength.

Some personality types are analytical people - and we need people with that skill in this world. In many situations somebody needs to be the one to over-thinker but I can tell your reference to these traits stems from paranoia and self doubt.

You are young and on the threshold of a long future. Try your hardest to recognize your strengths and cultivate them. You know what will help? Finding volunteer opportunities where a ministry or organization is looking for someone just like you - where you can use your skills and be appreciated. The work setting you're in may not be the place where you can be free to just be yourself - a lot of people feel stifled just like you. But that doesn't mean you your skills don't matter. I am going to give you a "homework" assignment.

I want you to get out a pen and paper. Begin to write down 20 things you like about yourself. (For example: I like my eyes, I am a good listener, I am a perfectionist and good with detail, I am a creative thinker, it's easy for me to feel what other people are feeling, etc. )

Just because people haven't taken the time to get to know you, and take liberties to judge you, it doesn't mean you don't have worth. Your life has a purpose and the way people react to you is really a statement of who they are and NOT about who you are.

The second part of your "homework" assignment is to read Psalm 139. I'd be interested to hear your feedback on what you read.

[APOR2017]

expressing depression, I have been there before. I am so sorry. The best advice I can give Is relax. I dont know if you pray but I had to constantly pray through those situations to find peace. Some days would be easier than others but eventually as relationships were formed, it became easier. I believe in you!