It’s my birthday on Monday I will be 32 I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter !
From November I felt that dark dog chasing me again and he got me and devoured me ! From then on I started antidepressants and ended up stopping because I felt they weren’t helping I experience severe anxiety all day every day I felt like I was going to die ! Distressing thoughts and feeling plagued me by the minute and I had no idea how to cope ! I could hardly function
Fast forward till today ! I am back on citalopram 10mgs I am not as bad but I am not exactly better either ! I wake up every morning heart racing filled with dread thoughts enter my head like I am taking medication because my brain isn’t working right and I am going to end up in a mental ward or end up crazy I constantly worry about how I’m feeling and slights moments when I feel ok my brain starts giving me all these horrible thoughts again ! I feel like my life isn’t going to get any better I feel like I’m in a dream sometimes when I am outside I feel scared all the time and want to live normally the way I did but find it hard now I cannot cope with the fact I can’t shake this and feel normal again my anxiety stays with me all day and has different intensity’s depending on my thoughts
Am I going mad ?