Path to Victory Unknown

Went outside for the first time in over a week today. It was very hard and things was going fine until I got halfway down the road and started freaking out. I was able to talk myself out of the panic attack and continued going forward and picked my little girl up from school. When I got there I held my head down the whole time and couldn't look my kids teacher in the face as I was afraid that if I looked at her directly that I would start to feel like this experience wasn't real and go into another panic attack.... I feel lost in my own head and see no current path to victory over this horrible disorder.

[-Sasha-]

First off I'm just going to say that you should be proud of the fact that you went for that walk in the first place. I can't say I know what you're going through, but just the other day I planned on going grocery shopping and the thought of being around that many people triggered my anxiety. It was such an overwhelming feeling so i decided that it wasn't a battle I needed to face that day and ended up staying home. You not only conquered that fear, but you talked yourself out of completely freaking out and continued on. Instead of letting the fear of judgement take over focus on your daughter and ask her questions about her day. I find that when I focus on my boys and their happiness, it not only distracts me from my chaotic thoughts but it gives me hope and motivation to continue trying to get better. I hope things get better soon, for now just take it one day at a time.

~S~

[hypercat54 in reply to -Sasha-]

Great reply Sasha. x

[Hidden in reply to -Sasha-]

Thank you! I needed that so much! I have actually had a decent day since this happened my wife told me that she was proud of me for trying to get better which made me feel better too. I also panic about the thought of being around even small groups of people. My wife wants me to try and go grocery shopping with her but even the thought of that sends me into a panic as well. It is a struggle going through this but hopefully there is some kinda light at the end of the tunnel.

[-Sasha- in reply to Hidden]

I'm glad to hear you had a decent day. I'm sure making your wife proud was an added bonus. As far as going grocery shopping, if it's something you feel you can attempt then go for it but if not then just let your wife know you'll let her know when you're ready to try. Like I said before, one day at a time. Good luck.

~S~

[Jeff1943]

ThroughMyEyes, I think you have found the solution to your problem yourself: do what you fear and the death of fear is assured. Even when you felt a panic attack you PASSED THROUGH PANIC rather than scuttling back home. Continue doing this to consolidate what you have achieved.

Your fear of going outside is caused by your mind sensing your anxiety. It believes this means you are in danger and tries to protect you by getting you to return home and stay home where you will be safe. The result is agoraphobia. Your mind is trying to be helpful but of course there aren't any hungry dinosaurs waiting to consume you these days.

If you get stuck whilst out walking just imagine you are being carried forward by an invisible force so that you are just 'floating' along. Either way, do build on what you have achieved. Things always get easier the more we do them. Who knows, before long you could be able to take your little girl to the swing park for 20 minutes. Just keep going on the way you are, more of the same, and you will overcome your fear and anxiety.

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you Jeff that information is extremely helpful and I will continue to work on more accomplishments. The hardest part is to convince myself that it is okay to actually go outside and then once I am out there it is like my mind hits a brick wall trying to prevent me from going forward and the closer I get to this wall the more panicked my body becomes.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Hidden]

ThroughMyEyes, I understand what you say, may I suggest something that I believe will help you overcome your agoraphobia. It will help whether you are in therapy or not or on meds or not.

It is a short book written many years ago by a psychiatrist called Claire Weekes and it deals with agoraphobia in easy to understand terms in a way that makes the reader feel she knew you. It is called "Peace from nervous suffering" and is available new or used on Amazon and Ebay.

Weekes suffered from anxiety disorder herself as a young medical student and developed the method known as the Acceptance Method to help herself to recover. She explained this method in her first book 'Self help for your nerves' u.k. title or 'Hope and help for your nerves' u.s. title.

I would suggest you read the first mentioned book "Peace from nervous suffering" first and if you find it helpful then go on and read the second mentioned book.

Can you actually recover from the symptoms of anxiety disorder just by reading a book? No, is the answer, you have to put what you have read into practice.

If you do that can a book lead to your recovery?

Yes.