I hate when I get this weird feeling. I suddenly look around and ask myself, Am I really here? Is this life real? It freaks me out. Like I know I am here. Then I start to think, but why am I here? One day I’m going to die. I will no longer be here.
I’m here but not really here - Anxiety and Depre...
I’m here but not really here
You are here for a purpose. Just as humans evolve physically to a higher form through evolution so we evolve in our mind and character to a higher form. Some people believe this happens over several lifetimes, we have passed this way before, we shall pass this way again. And again.
Unfortunately the way our character evolves is through facing trouble and strife, this is the way.
You may also be experiencing derealisation, the feeling of not being really here, like you're watching everything happen on a tv. This is you mind's unhelpful attempt to distance you from 'dangers' it senses you are facing because it senses your anxiety.
It is a symptom of anxiety and the feeling will resolve when your anxiety resolves. You will not feel like this forever. All troubles pass. But the more you learn about the nature of anxiety disorder the sooner your recovery will come.
Because Jeff mentioned derealization and I've recently had similar thoughts to yours, I googled "derealization". There is also something similar called depersonalization. Both seem to be a possible symptom of anxiety. But 40% of people have had these feelings at least once in their lives, so it is also common and 'normal'.
I agree with your description of "hating this weird feeling". I was very fearful of what I was feeling, too. I actually went to Urgent Care the next day because I also had nausea and I was relating the derealization with lightheadedness. I didn't know what was going on, so I was afraid I might be having female symptoms of a heart attack. I cried in Urgent Care while trying to explain what I had been feeling. They took my blood pressure, listened to my heart, and did a quick EKG to confirm that my heart was fine, the referred me to "Behavioral Sciences". Without knowing it, I was already under the care of a psychiatrist and a therapist for depression and already had an appointment with my therapist the next day.
It sounds to me that if it is just once, don't worry about it, but if it is recurring, you could talk to your doctor about it being a possible symptom of anxiety. There is a lot that can be done for anxiety. Good luck to you!
Thank you for that!!! 😊
I am so glad you were still checking!