I Canceled A Procedure That I Needed ! Done It Before ? No Biggie. Yet Twice I've Canceled ! I've Become Obsessed With Worry I've Never Had.

[TriggerPoint]

Sure. I'm A Little OCD About Petty Things Just Like Normal Everyday People. BUT ? I Have Found Myself OCD About ALL These Meds ! From 0 Meds Just About 13 Months Ago To 11 Rx's ?... My Mind Is Like SHOCKED !... For Goodness Sake. This Is The Kinda Numbers I Gave My Mom Before She Passed Wile I Was Caring For Her !... I'm Like, "How Did I Get Here ?" NOTHING You'd Call MAJOR Has Been Diagnosed Other Than The "Reentry To My PTSD & Anxiety Disorder Returning".... Only 2 Meds For That Yet Here's 9 More ?... My Weight Is Better Than It Has Been In Years & Everything Is Physically Present & Accounted For... So WHY Are All The Docs Shoving All These Pills Down My Throat ?... I Have Studied Every Single Pill Down To It's Origin Almost Trying To Figure Out What They Are Doing ?... [ sound a little OCD ? ]...

I've Had Test After Test, Xrays Til I'm Almost Fried, Gave A Gallon Of Blood It Seems Like, Been Poked & Prodded Like A Lab Rat & Ultra Sounded Til I Think I Hear It !... Then Whats Found Is Very Minor or/ No Big Deal, or GREAT !... Yet ? I Feel Like A Walking PHARMACY !

What Am I Missing Here ? or/ What Are ALL The Doctors Missing That Must Be Right Under Their Noses ? Yea ! I FEEL LIKE CRAP. But If You Saw ALL The Side Effects Of All These Meds You'd Wonder Why I Could Even Walk !

Now They've Added A Neurologist. Did Find Out I May Need Neck & Lower Back Surgery..... [ nobody will make up their minds yet ].... But Hey ? It Has NOTHING To Do With Any Meds I'm On At All.... Go Figure ?

I Am A Honest Person, Yet ? I Told A Bald Faced LIE Twice To Avoid This Procedure Of Having That Hose Rammed Up My Butt Because I Was Afraid Of The 14 Hr. Process Combined With The Medications I'm On Completely Dehydrating My Body ! [ God Forgive Me For Lying To Those People & Just Being A Flat Out Afraid Coward...] PLUS ! I Could Have NONE Of My Anxiety Meds 12 Hrs. Prior To The Procedure ?

So ? Here I Am On ALL These DIURETIC Based Drugs To Pee My Brains Out Already, Combined With Their 1/2 Gallon Of Butt Flush To Drink PLUS 2 Gallons Of Distilled Water [ for continued butt flushing and not dehydration ] All Within A 14 Hour Period & I Am NOT Allowed Any Of My Anxiety Meds ? Does That Sound Like A Winning Combo To You ?

I've Had This Procedure Done Twice In My Life. In Fact The Last Time Was 10 Years Ago & They Couldn't Put Me Out. I Was Wide Awake Through That Whole Garden Hose Being Rammed Up My Butt...[ lol..really ]... Yea, It's Really Uncomfortable, But Sounds Worse Than It Actually Was.... [ I Mean Hey ? I Was In An Explosion & Burned 28 Years Ago So ? ].... The Procedure Doesn't Frighten Me One Bit.... It's The Existing MEDS That Frighten Me Along With It...

Thanks For Letting Me Confess My Fault... I Don't Wanna Become OCD About Meds Too.... Yet Here I Am...

* Note: I Am Serious About God's Forgiveness & Yours Too. I Feel Like Not Facing Fear May Have Let You Down Too. Forgive Me....

[Sillysausage234]

😂 the butt flush is trendy nowadays some people even use coffee enemas so take a positive from it ,seriously though have you ever heard of functional neurological disorder?hu Have a site on it called f.n.d.hope ...go easy on them x rays

[TriggerPoint in reply to Sillysausage234]

Just Read On That Disorder.... Interesting....The Xrays ?....They Order'em...What I Don't Understand Is Why They Just Don't Do Somekinda Body Scan, Head To Toe & Be Done With It....Oh ! & My Coffee ? It ONLY Goes In One Hole & That Ain't The One... LOL...May Come Our That Way But Not In.....

Thanks So Much Alan ! Thanks For Listening~*