I really need some advice on prom. It is giving me so much anxiety.

[DemureRose]

I've mentioned it on here before but I'm really really dreading prom. It's like my worst nightmare rolled into one. Attention, lots of people, loud music and a late night. I have tried so hard to be positive and get myself to look forward to it but every time I get even a little excited the reality of it smacks me in the face. Prom has just never been something important to me. I wasn't even planning on going until this year. I wasn't technically pressured into it but there was a bit of silent pushing from my friends and mom. My mom said it was my choice but I know how much she wants me to go. There just isn't anything positive for me. Our prom is so different prom the movies. We don't get to go from our house to prom, its a process. We go to Promenade, then to the prom which is basically just sitting around a table, watching a show of some kind then dancing if you want. Then we leave and go to an arcade where we have to stay until its over which is around 2 am. It is so complicated and so unknown to me. My sisters gave me advice on certain things. They said it would be easier to drive myself and come home to change then go to the arcade. I loved that idea because it gave me a break between socializing which anyone with social anxiety knows is exhausting. But my friends REALLY want me to rent a car or bus and ride around with them. I love my friends but that is a long time for me to be around people and I don't know if I can mentally handle that. I'm just...dreading this so much that talking about it with anyone sends me into an anxiety attack and I'm just disconnected the rest of the day. I have tried to ask my friends if I can maybe drive separately but they were unhappy. They seem almost annoyed that I would suggest it which sends me into a whole new wave of anxiety. I have tried to talk to my mom and she's great but doesn't understand how much this is effecting me. She just says "It's one night. You'll survive." She doesn't get that this night won't be fun, no matter how much I want it to be. I just really need some help. I'm desperate for anything.

Sorry this was so long, I'm just in the need to rant to people who may understand.

Thank you, DemureRose

[Syllabus18]

Rose I've read everything that you've written and said and let me tell you you want to make sure that the first step is that you look better than all the rest of those girls that you going with you want to make sure that your dress is stunning your shoes is on fleek and your hair is fabulous. The next step is you going to have to get a guy to go with you that looks just as Fabulous As you he doesn't have to be the most popular person but make sure that he looks good and then spend most of your time with that particular guy and if any other social Gatherings that you go around or you're into eject him into it and explain to him that you would like him to handle most of the social engagements for the night when you're in your interactions and you'll be fine

[DemureRose in reply to Syllabus18]

I think your advice would work great with probably anyone but me. However, at my school nobody brings a date from their own school unless they're dating or a lower class men. It's just a thing we do lol.

[Hidden]

My mom didn't go to either of her proms and always tells me she regrets it. I know that everyone is different, but maybe your mom and friends just don't want you to regret not going later in your life? I'd say sorry to your friends and drive yourself. A break may be just what you need to get thru the night. You could tell your friends that you can't/won't go unless you can drive yourself, and maybe they'll back off? You may look back on this and enjoy the memories and be proud of getting through it. If you do end up going, remember restrooms can be a place a reprieve. Just shut yourself in a stall and calm your mind down, you know? Whichever you end up choosing, going or not, I hope you have a lovely night. Internet Hugs! You'll figure it out

[DemureRose in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. That bathroom advice may come in handy.

[Hidden in reply to DemureRose]

no problem. I know I've used that particular escape myself. It's pretty nifty.

[Hidden]

I didn't even go to prom or graduation. When you are out in the real world that stuff doesn't even matter at all

Don't go if you don't want to. You're not missing anything.

[DemureRose in reply to Hidden]

I think it’s great that you felt condifident enough to do whatever you wanted. I’m really going for the benefit of my friends and family. I want this to be a memorable experience for them and if I don’t go I worry it will upset them.

[Hidden in reply to DemureRose]

Good your choice but don't spend your life doing things because it might upset others if you don't.

[baileyf14]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. Prom is a lot of effort, but is really fun in the end. Your friends will be fine if you drive yourself, especially if that is what you really want to do. You need to do what makes you the most comfortable. If you drive yourself, you can still go to the arcade but you do not have to stay as late as everyone else. I hope everything goes well!