Worried

[Featherless]

Hi, Unsure where to go with this one really. Been very down for a while, struggling to see the good in anything and so very very negative.

Work virtually full time in a job I hate, can’t see a way out.

Carer for my 93 year old mother outside of that.

Just feels like I’m going nowhere. Suffer anxiety and worry over the stupidest things and worry about what could be and what might happen.

Just seems like an endless cycle with no light at the end of the tunnel.

[Hidden]

How about looking for another job? Mine has been a lifesaver and a great escape. Don't worry about what could have been. Make it happen one small step at a time. There is light. My life is a mess in a lot of ways but I do my best not to let it get me down or let others dictate my mood. I have only control of myself so I'm gonna be the best I can be in spite of all the chaos going on right now. Little steps forward can change a lot. Good luck. 😊

[Featherless in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I’m generally quite a get on with it person but this year I’m struggling

[Hidden]

If you are concerned at work, also looking after an aged family member you seem to have a great deal on your mind, you will also feel tired. You seem to need help, Have you tried to have words with your GP regards your Mother.

When people get old the Carer needs a Carer to take over the care of the aged, this may help you move on and feel better when you are at work.

Talk to our GP regards your low mood and stress explain you are not managing your work, and your Mother can be hard work.

It may be your Mother can go to a day centre or have health visitors visiting during the day. I really do feel the problem could be related to you been pulled in different directions. Work is important, few people enjoy what they do however it may be, you sort out one problem and you may feel more able to cope, if you are able to relax

See our GP, Keep a hold

BOB

[Featherless in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I have other family members who pop in to see my mum in the day and normally I just get on.

This year getting on just doesn’t seem to be working and I don’t find my managers or work colleagues are very sympathetic to my situation.

[Hidden in reply to Featherless]

People at work these days are there to work, in some offices there is a disinterest in those who work together. In fact when I was at work those on our group never discussed family life and concerns. That was classed as a weakness and not their concern. It was also taken by line managers that we were not getting paid to chat, it was a distraction.

You need to talk to family who are popping in to see your Mam and discuss other ways that may help you all relate to what is going on.

Hopefully a more inclusive caring decision will come about and that will help all family member relate in a more inclusive way. Everyone needs time to themselves, if not we become stale and that means you are no good to those who you look after. Being a carer and a worker makes for a shallow life, I cannot feel that family members want that they need time for themselves

BOB

[Arniestal]

You must be exhausted and that will only make you feel much worse. You definitely need some help with mum, can you do less hours at work? Have you got any friends to maybe have a coffee with anything. Those of us who need friends the most seem to have the least.

I think a lot of people feel similar, you have too much work I'm trying to find a job. Try to just think of the day, morning, at a time. Hope you get help.

[Featherless in reply to Arniestal]

Thanks for your reply. Lost all my friends years ago and I’m quite insular. My work isn’t very helpful or sympathetic. I’ve been there 9 years and they are quick to pick fault. Compassion isn’t their strong point !

[Needtovent]

Hey Featherless, I know both struggles. It’s not always a simple as telling yourself to get over it when the realities of life are non stop stressors. I am hopeful you can get extra support for your mom, and move through employment challenges. I agree with talking to your own doc about how you’re handling all of this, is a good idea as well. Good wishes to you and talk here as you need to.

[Featherless in reply to Needtovent]

Thank you. It helps to know there are people out there who can see the situation I’m in. Though in the daytime family visit with my mum so she has company in the day.