New Here, Feeling Anxious About New Job

[AnonymousLlama]

Hi, new here. I have struggled with anxiety on and off for most of my life. I have never sought out help from any kind of support group before, because before now, I was either too anxious to put myself out there, or I was denying that I had a problem.

I have had some periods of my life where I think I actually had very little anxiety, but right now I am actually starting to pull myself out of what was probably the worst period of social anxiety I have ever had.

I have read How to Be Yourself by Ellen Hendriksen (twice, actually), and it really helped me. My main take aways from it were:

1) everyone who is not a sociopath has some level of anxiety, feeling anxiety is normal and okay

2) the part of my brain that is telling me that talking to other people is going to result in certain death is probably overreacting, and I can choose not to listen to it.

The thing is, I actually got to the point recently where I was able to interview for a better job and do REALLY WELL. Like, I sounded smart and stuff, didn't do anything self sabotaging and generally said and did just the right combination of things that resulted in me actually getting the job.

So now, it's not that I'm not happy about it, but I also feel like I now have a whole new set of things to worry about. The level of anxiousness that anyone would have had leading up to the job interview didn't go away. This probably was not helped by the fact that when offering me the job, my employer stressed to me that making mistakes in this position could result in legal liability for the company and that he had already had to fire two other people from this position in the last six months.

The job also involves working with customers. I think that part of it will be good for me though, and that isn't really the part I am worried about most. It's more the legal liability/one mistake and I could lose my job and be worse off than before thing.

[ChicagoGirl1961]

Well, it's the company that would be liable rather than yourself. I think you must simply have the attitude that you know you're going to do the best you can, and not to be self conscious about what others think which is something that many anxiety ridden individuals suffer with. When all is said and done, no matter how things turn out, you will be able to live with the results because you gave it your best, and you can't ask for more than that. As far as worrying about the legal/liability issue, push that aside and just focus on being your best. Think about today rather than worrying about something that make never occur. Be well.

[aaronm]

Oh my. That would be a lot of pressure. Its inconceivable to think a supervisor couldn't think of a more sympathetic way to say that.

I denied my depression and anxiety for about 15 years. My marriage suffered and so did the relationship with my kids. My wife nearly had one foot out the door so I agreed to go see a psychiatrist.

Oh how I wish I could turn back time!

[AnonymousLlama in reply to aaronm]

Thanks for your replies, it's really so good to have people to talk to about this. I don't think he meant to be unsympathetic. I think he just wanted to make sure I was going to take the responsibilities of the job seriously. But yeah, it would have been nice if he had something more encouraging to say. Maybe he did though, and I'm just remembering/dwelling on the most negative thing out of that conversation. I know that negative things tend to stick in your brain a lot easier than positives.

[Esther228]

Congratulations on your new job! It is wonderful to hear how you didn’t do any “self-sabotaging” and that you remained positive.

Anxiety is a real issue--it is not expected or wanted. I know, because I dealt with anxiety in my last job, too. It was horrible at times. What I used to help control those feelings was to refocus my thoughts. I would look at something else in the room, pray, and at times pinch my skin (a rubber band would have helped) to try and combat those strong feelings. I had to ask myself, “Where are these thoughts coming from?” Prayer was huge in helping me get through it!

Do you think the anxiety comes from fear of failure or not knowing what to expect? I believe your employer believes in you or wouldn’t have hired you for that position, don’t you? I wish you all the very best in this new job! You can do this!!