Well, I had a good two weeks and actually went two nights without sleep meds. But tonight, even with sleep meds......nada!
I have been feeling so much better lately, but my insomnia, PTSD, anxiety and depression are so severe that I was warned or told that I will have dark days or nights. But don’t panic and think all is lost. Just accept it for what it is and know, it will pass. I was just feeling better than I ever had after I finished this last treatment. It just goes to show it’s a constant work in progress, and that’s okay. Doesn’t mean all I learned has failed and doesn’t apply, it just means I refer to what I learned and the notes I took and deal with it.
This should be interesting. With all that I have tried to heal myself, everything from ECT to hospitalization, to meditation, countless meds, you name it, I’ve tried it. This last treatment was the most successful and made me feel comfortable in my skin again, first time since I was 8 years old. I felt more energy and positive. I still feel positive. I just hit a little bump in the road. So I guess this is where I put the treatment and everything I learned to the test. Or rather I put myself to the test and get through it. For a lot of us, like myself, depression is forever, and I am beginning to understand that my anxiety may be just like my depression, as well as my insomnia. Kind of like my nose. I have it on me and with me always. So, I accept it. Now I just have to do what I have been taught and live and know tomorrow may be a better day.
But really, insomnia really truly bites. Especially when my husband is fast asleep next to me. I so envy him. I just need to tell myself it’s all good and I can get through this. And however I feel tomorrow is how I will feel and I can deal with whatever as things come up.
So grateful for this site. Man, it feels good to just let it all out.
Goodnight, Good morning and good day! 😬