Depression sucks

[Padrefanatic]

I'm tired of it. I've been dealing with depression and low self esteem for such a long time now. Its so difficult to live a good life with this. I tell myself I'm okay and things are going to get better but they don't. 1 step forward 3 steps back. Lately, I have been dealing with unemployment and not being able to find a job. I have been dealing with a brother who has been fighting suicidal thoughts and depression. I have been dealing with my little sister who is dealing with depression by pulling out here eyebrows and having mental breakdowns. It's been me in the middle of all of this fighting to be okay for THEM. So that they feel that they can get better by seeing me be "Strong" But I am suffering and struggling alone not knowing how to deal with all of this weight. I miss my parents, they passed away within two years of each other when I was 18 and that is what started my depression. I wish I had them here with me so i wouldn't have to deal with all this grief and heartache. Im hanging on by a thread.. idk what to do anymore.

[SeekingPeace1]

I'm so sorry for what you and siblings are going through. I hope you have some sort of support and help available to you. Are you able to get counselling?

It is very fortunate that you 3 siblings are there to love and support each other. Just being able to hug each other everyday would be a big thing. And to be able discuss and understand each others problems. I wish I had someone like that.

There's a lot of evidence that mindfulness meditation helps people get out of depression. Look up Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSR program - there's a free version of it here: palousemindfulness.com/

There's research that shows it works if practiced daily: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

Decreased Symptoms of Depression After Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

Also, improving your health through your diet, nutrition, exercise, sleep and other lifestyle habits could help a bit. Hope this helps you.

[Padrefanatic in reply to SeekingPeace1]

At the moment I am not available for counseling because the lost of my job has caused me to lose my benefits. I have applied for insurance and currently waiting to see if I qualify for it. Thank you for the tips and advice I will try them out in hopes of finding some peace

Thank you so much.

[Hidden]

This is a heartfelt story. I will be honest I've never dealt with another being very close by with depression. This demon sucks on its own, how much more when u are dealing with two more people who are worse then you? I give it to you, u are strong. I don't know how I would deal with another. I am sorry that you are on your own with this demon. Have you seen a therapist with your siblings? I wish I can comfort you but u have it tougher than me and obviously stronger than me. You can't be alone in this and I know a therapist will do much but I think you also need a group of people who understand your situation. We are here for you even if it only a listening ear. Sometimes depression causes one to scream out loud and when that time comes, we are here for you. Thank you for sharing ur story.

[Padrefanatic in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately, I have not seen a therapist. I know I should but its hard for me to be so vulnerable. Thank you for listening. I joined this group today in hopes of finding people who will listen without judgement and I'm hoping to find that. Thank you

[Hidden in reply to Padrefanatic]

I know that listening is the only thing we can offer with just a few advices if we have been where u are. But most of all it is just having someone to cry to, scream at and vent if need be. This is why we are all here. Believe me we know what you are going through. I hope you can see a therapist though because this is too much for you. You can not do it on your own especially having other people who depend on you. That can take its toll on you trying to be stronger for them. Indeed, u are an inspiration

[Hidden]

Sometimes 7cups helps me. But I get it. When my brother is dark and on the verge of giving up, it makes it so hard not to get dragged into the swirling hole with him. Sometimes I take some space to myself to just fall apart, and then put myself back together. I remember the things that help me get through, a conversation, a hike, a shower...whatever works for you. We've been through worse and know we have better days ahead. Take care of yourself and know you're not alone.

[Padrefanatic in reply to Hidden]

What is 7cups? Its tough. For a long time I would resort to unhealthy ways of coping with this. But I am trying to find new ways to get through this and I thank you for sharing what helps you.

Thank you for the support.

[Hidden in reply to Padrefanatic]

Search for 7 cups of tea, free live chat support group

[froggymom88]

That is a lot to have to shoulder. How very difficult. You need some support and reaching out here is. a start. Try to take a little time for yourself to do nice things for yourself. It will help to rejuvenate you so you can be there for the others. I can recommend calling this number 855-3825-433 to talk to a licesenced counselor. Maybe they can give you some professional advice. Many hugs!

[Padrefanatic in reply to froggymom88]

Thank you so much.