Need help

[Mountain_Cat]

Hello.

I joined this community just for the reason to ask if anyone can help me find a way to help my depressed friend

We have been penpals for quite some time and over the last few months he has shown a lot of depression symptoms. He tells me that he is anxious and even cuts himself. Sometimes he rewiels that he can't sleep and constantly has nightmares.

I'm very worried about him. Scarred even. I think if nothing is done he might even go as far to try and take his own life. He has talked about it before.

I suggested seeking professional help, but he doesn't want to search for anything. He doesn't even want to try. No motivation about anything at all.

I want to help him so badly. We live in different countries so I can't just go to his house to help him in person and I don't have the skills or the mental strenght to help him trough emails.

What should I do? How do I help him? He won't listen to me, just get angry when I suggest something.

[kenster1]

hi I think its great that your trying to help him and point him in the right direction.i doubt you can do much more only being pen pals apart from keep encouraging him.i think you have to back of because its starting to effect you and that's not right.this guy could be anything at the end of the day so you need to hold back.

[PHX808]

maybe let him vent just to vent. Honestly that is a good thing to a degree, in bad news most people walk away. But have not so I commend you. Journal maybe and remember you have the power to take thoughts to complex positive places yourself. CBT teaches to go at the fear and expand it, acknoweledge it, and let it pass. Then turn towards lighter subjects. Humor is important too. It is a long road so remember today is just a day. I wish you the best of hope.

[Hidden]

You need to persaud that he needs to see a GP about His depression and the need to cut.

I gather you are in the USA, if that is the case read Pinned posts and various topics in theat section.

If I thought you were in the UK i would also advise that He phoned the NHS Information Line ON Tel 111 or the emergency line on Tel 999. Both lines can assist the latter if He is in imminent danger.

He can try Mindfulness a relaxation technique this can calm the person down, the book costs about £7;00 on Amazon UK.

However He needs help to get treatment, you need to use all your Whiles to persaud him

Do you know the cause ? If you can find that out you may be able to give support and understanding

BOB

[Stilltrying_]

I would suggest that continuing to be there for him in the way you are now and not withdrawing from him is a good idea. However with the distance and the other restraints it is tricky to know what else to advise you.

You can suggest that for example he joins an online forum or give him numbers of helplines ; he may not be able to respond appropriately to your help because of his depression , but just your willingness to help shows what a caring friend you are and it may be helping him in some way big or small. Let's hope.

Look after yourself too; that is important and always keep yourself safe and don't tolerate any sort of aggression or threats, obviously

[lorianxiety]

hello, if your pen friend is self-harming,its best to suggest one or 2 things for him to do---its quite a common occurrence,in children too,its a way of easing they'r pain(emotional)-however its not such a good idea to be stuck on this particular problem,as its up to him whether he seeks help,or really wants to help himself,you cannot be responsible for his actions,,,,,and you need to remain strong for you to carry on ...hope this doesn't sound uncaring.!

[Hidden]

Just being online and chatting about general topics and keeping in contact is probably all you can do. Being positive is helpful. If you know where he lives you can find out if he has any contact with neighbours, and if he has relatives. If you know his name will he be on face book somewhere -you might find a helpline in his area. It is too much to bear the pressure of his mental health problem on your own. Does he expect you to chat every day?

[Hidden]

Have heard that natural remedies such as hemp oil can help sleep, and mood. May be you can look up some health suppliers in the USA which might help. If you are feeling scarred and drained, his problem is affecting your mental health. You might have to delay responses a you are busy, and reward him with a reply when he sends you a non negative

response. Don't be worried of breaking a friendship - if you are friend and you can find a helpline to contact, you are still his friend looking after his best interest.