New here.

[C_Shell]

I'm not big on sharing whats going on in my head. This is the first and only website I've posted on about anything going on with me in this sense. I'm 26, have had thoughts (and a few failed attempts) of suicide from 12 onward. About 3 years ago I got to the point I was waking up every morning puking/retching until I couldn't move because my back and stomach were pure cramps. I got better, I thought. I quit chasing things that my parents/guardians told me I wanted and I started doing things my own way. But lately I feel I'm slipping backwards. I'm constantly on edge. I can't sleep on a normal schedule. Thoughts of even the smallest failure or shortcoming ride me to tears. Irritable beyond belief (died in a video game yesterday and I broke a keyboard) and I don't know why it's hitting me like this. I just don't get it.

[Iloveart7]

Welcome! I'm sorry you are struggling!

[Hidden]

Welcome cshell!

[Dilaw808]

I can relate. And this is my first and only site I have ever joined and posted on. I can say it’s been such a help. If you feel like you are reverting continue reaching out and talking or sharing with people you can trust. Therapy might even be a good option. Psychologist maybe? Even your primary care physician can help and figure out what is best for you, offer advice, guide you in the right direction?

Just don’t give up hope. I was in such a dark place and so upset I stuck my arm out at the end of my kitchen counter and just swept across dishes and containers or whatever was on there and they all came down crashing on the floor. It felt kind of good right at that moment. But it helped me realize how bad off I was and I sought out help.

[Hidden]

hi shell,i think ever body on this site,will relate to you.your struggling thinking its all your

fault.you feel the way you do.well its not,this is it,about ocd or other conditions ,realise

these things are to blame and not poor old you.then you can start to fight back,yes its hard

tell yourself its you against depression not you against yourself.best of luck its worth the

battle but you can win.by shelly.