If u were me.

[Donndonn1980]

Ok so my life has become what feels like a fiction story. It's made me question my sanity many times but what do you do when your sure of yourself . Like a part of me would welcome being insane just so I can know that my life is not as crazy as it has become. I also wish I didnt do things that contribute to my mental stability so no one could just disregard some of the things I chose to share with them . Its frustrating trying to get ppl to understand things you deal with without them quickly sayin your tripping. I already have major trust issues so I have to really feel some way to share as it is. I have some ppl in my life that when I see them they say things to me that make me worry and kinda panic but I know they care genuinely. I just want my normal life back. I feel like I'm always in a hurry to do things but I know I shouldnt feel that way. All I do is take care of my babies and stay in my own business so why do I constantly feel like I'm being tormented? Yes some things can be in a person's head but sometimes it's not. People treat me so strange when I'm out and I dont like it. I tried to find a therapist so many times but it never plans out so I end up just trying to cope with my feelings. After my accident I couldn't even get proper in home care. I dont know if I even healed right. I broke my hip,femur, ankle ect. But didnt get the proper treatment but would always get the runaround when looking to fix my situation. Yes so much happens in my life and I nor the ppl I share with understand. I was told by so many ppl that ived talked to that my life would be exhausting for them so I know they can understand that I am. I just want and need a social worker or even a mentor to genuinely help me. I just want to be a great father,friend or family member. I know I'm good enough. Times have really changed and not in the good way. This used to be much simpler and u could depend on ppl and even trust them. I think my kids mom might be pregnant but I've been hurt so much in that relationship I dont even care. I've become so numb to being disappointed or upset with her. I just need my kids anyways. I want to feel safe and be safe. I want to find genuine support and help from ppl who dont judge and aren't able to be moved by silly immature things. Someone who can read between the lines as I can. I need ppl with the same kind of spirit that i have for wanting to help ppl and fight against things that are wrong and just should not be. Why dont ppl hold ppl accountable anymore and if u see something is wrong u do your best to correct it. So many ppl just dont wanna get involved but nothing changes that way. I ordered food a while back and the guy went to the wrong address. He saw a policeman and I dont know how or why but he gave my order to the officer. How dishonest of the officer and that's who we are supposed to call upon. I guess I'm done writing now. I'm sorry I'm all over the place but hopefully u understand what I'm saying.

[dore13]

I am not quite sure how to respond to this. your message covers a lot of ground. I was wondering if you take anything for anxiety or see a therapist. If you are on meds, then may need to be adjusted, or if you have a therapist, learn CBT or mindfulness techniques. I do understand the urge to want to get away and start over in a quiet area, but when you have kids, it rarely can work that way. The reasons are because wherever you go, there will always be problems, people with problems, and legally if you could take them. (I don't know if you are married or divorced or what that situation is) I do feel like sometimes we hit a bad patch, and we hit a funk because it seems nothing is going our way, but as days keep rolling by, it will change. Change is the only action that will never stop.