Ok so the anxiety and depression have been so debilitating I’m at the end. I’m supposed to get on a plane Tuesday to go out of town for work. I don’t think I can do it. I created a long list of accounts and passwords to leave for my wife and I’ve actually written and printed goodbye notes for her and my kids. Monday is my wife’s bday so I’m going to muscle through it.
Obviously if I tell my wife or friends I’ll end up at the hospital and I don’t want that. I feel like a hospital stay followed by stigma and losing my job will be worse. I don’t want to ruin my kids lives and I know they will be sad but the mental pain is so intense I can’t take it anymore. I don’t feel like my life is a life. I hate every day and can barely get through each one. Please GOD give me the strength to make the right decision.