Do we all have to work harder?

[AZ1970]

I’ve been pondering something today. Everyone on here seems to have trauma and/or difficult childhoods. I have always felt different, like I don’t belong. Others seem to be able to live life with a bit of ease, although they have stressors and challenges just like all of us. So has something happened in our brains that require constant recovery, work and maintenance in order to just “do life”? If we don’t work every day challenging our thoughts and managing our stress, perhaps our “normal” state of being is anxiety, depression and despair. It’s not fair by any means. Most of us have been robbed of basic needs like love and safety. But it doesn’t change the fact that in order to have a life, certain things are needed to love and care for ourselves. Our default state of being cannot function. I also wonder though if all of us have the ability to see the wonder and miracles in life because we don’t take them for granted. The “normal” people out there don’t have the lows we do, and perhaps they don’t have the blessing of intense joy and wonder either. I would love to hear your thoughts.

[HopefulOwl93]

This is a great perspective and yes, I believe our brains think normal is anxiety and depression. It’s much harder to attempt all the work to maintain happiness and it can be exhausting. It’s isolating as well. 🖤 i get it.

[AZ1970 in reply to HopefulOwl93]

Thank you for your reply. You are very right. It is very exhausting to maintain. But worth it once you feel that you are getting your life back.

[fauxartist]

My take on this is.... we have a disease....there is no cure, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes us feel sad or worse for no reason....we just do. There is no quick 'fix' or magic bullet. But some of us get help with SSRI's....it just evens out the emotional roller coaster a bit for me....and I'll take anything is a help. A lot of us also come from a history of abuse, abandonment, PTSD, trauma...etc....and it also contributes to the severity of our depression and with that I believe we need professional help at some point, but a lot of the work has to be done by us. Learning to live the best life we can with this disease, and not letting it define us. I also believe in miracles..... I never had love growing up, didn't understand it, was looking for love in all the wrong places in my young adult life, and made many mistakes, had more bad things happen along the way....and when I had resolved myself to living a life without love..... especially unconditional love....it was all a myth and a fairytale to me... it happened.... so.... yes... we can have a life, we can have love, but yes, we do have to work harder some days than others....but we also can have some happiness.

[AZ1970 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for putting this so well. You are right about the other interventions that can help as well. Seeking help for something larger than us is what many of us need to do.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Sorry to interrupt but do you not think that a traumatic childhood can put you on the road to depression?

[AZ1970 in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely it has in my case. That is one of my points. We enter life behind the curve. In order to survive and thrive we need to put effort into life that others may not need to.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I do know for a fact outside influences such as abuse, trauma, CPTSD, PTSD, abandonment, etc.....contribute too depression but they do not cause it. Depression is a chemical thing in the brain, I believe we are born this way, I also believe it's genetic. It runs in my family and all but 5 out of 6 kids have it to varying degrees. There is no cure and it can be managed somewhat....but you will always have it. I have read so many people claiming they were cured of it....if that were true....they should share that cure with the millions out there who have found nothing to cure this disease. I've also heard many say that it's not genetic or a chemical deficiency....and you can just will yourself to be better. Good luck with that one too....then everyone could just will themselves from all disease as depression is a disease...no different than being predisposed to heart disease or having diabetes......the best I can do is enjoy the happisher days, and ride out the down side.

There is also a temporary depression, separate to the above. And when someone experiences a death of a love one for instance.....if they never had depression before, and only are experiencing circumstantially.....This will pass, they will get better because it's temporary.

[Coco123456]

Hello. I am new to this site. Fighting depression and some parts of BPD. An emotional year. Anyway. Merry Christmas to you. Christmas is almost over