An idle mind....

Sooo i have been suffering from depression for a very long time, but this year it became verry bad, due to some of the things that happened in my life this year, they totally broke me and left me in the worst state ever!.... however, what i have noticed about depression is when ur alone and not keeping busy, it hits you even more.... so being in varsity has most def helped, keeping busy with assignments and classes helps, i mean at times i struggle with waking up in the morning, and i still cry myself to sleep, but i do now that without school, it would happen almost every other day... but right now we are writing exams, and im finishing with my exams soon and we we will be going straight into the holidays.. i started getting EXTREME AND CRAZY anxiety because i knew that means that i will be idle, i wont be keeping busy much, and it scared me and freaked me out so much, cos i HATE having depression, and i hate the feelings it gives me, and being in that dark state for weeks on end, and feeling suicidal, I HATE IT... i have been trying to look for holiday jobs because i dnt think i will be able to do it.... being in that dark state every single day!

[quitter333]

what exactly is depressing you?

I am way over my Uni years. I recall the only thing I cared about was getting smarter. I was taking classes in law and economics. I didn't care about my grades as long as I had a strong chance for scholarship.

What worries you all so much?

Achievements? Well - work more and smarter.

Money? - no smart man has ever become a bum (ok except in extraordinary circumstances, as in you were a scientist in USSR and then got ditched)

Parents hopes? - I think like any parents - they just want you to be happy, and wont care if you are an astronaut or a hotdog seller.

Girls? - depression is probably not the best icebreaker, as all people have this or that going on in their lives they just are better at hiding it.

[PNIAuthor60]

Have you ever thought of embracing self-care as another option? What nourishes your soul? Do you enjoy massage? Long walks?

[Hidden in reply to PNIAuthor60]

Ive never thought about this, thaank you, it makes so much sense... like reading books and stuff! i will mst def look into that

[PNIAuthor60 in reply to Hidden]

I just learned of a resource available at the end of this month on Amazon. It is called This Is For You: A creative toolkit for better self-care. It is a paperback and sells for $11.82.

It is apparently a fun, friendly interactive journal with a 100 ways to take control of your life and make more time for you!! I am making it my focus for next year!

It will help me reframe my priorities and find more time to nourish myself. Chapters include: Mind, Feelings, Relationships, Time, Work, Creativity and Change

The author is a psychologist and her name is Ellen M. Bard

[Hidden]

i will most def do that, thank you... i ddnt think about that

[AZ1970]

I have found that being structured and intentional with my time, including time to be around others, helps me tremendously. I love the fact that you know this about yourself ahead of time. First of all, watch your thoughts. You are "predicting" you will be depressed. Guess what? You may be setting your brain up with those thoughts. Perhaps change your thinking: I will have time to experiment and find things I enjoy. I can get reconnected with people I miss. I can volunteer to help those less fortunate. I can practice extreme self care to recuperate from working so hard at school. Make a plan for yourself. I bet things may not be as challenging as you think they will be.

[Hidden in reply to AZ1970]

i love this.....

[Essentiallyfree]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, it's so devastating. The upper hand that you have on your depression, is knowing what triggers it; idleness. I would definitely encourage you to consider what brings you joy and do those things. I found for myself that prayer/bible studies, exercising, books, music, and self care all help me tremendously. Hope you have a great holiday break and practice loving on yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Essentiallyfree]

thank you so much! and i will do that!!

[HistorianNerd]

I have this same difficulty. I find that keeping busy helps my mind have something to focus on so that the depression can’t take over. It doesn’t have to be activities with people though. Just making a schedule that I have to stick to, and setting goals for myself for the day, gives me focus. My goal could be to read a chapter of a book and clean the refrigerator. Simple things! If I have a free day with no plans, my depression will fight to the forefront and before I know it I don’t have the motivation to leave the house. Good luck to you and know you are not alone. 💖

[Hidden in reply to HistorianNerd]

im so sorry for the late response, i took a break from social media.... and this helped a lot, thank you. and im glad u understand that, it doesnt have to be activities with people, cos those including other people are what i was mostly avoiding, but here and there i hung out with my friends. i hope you had an amazing holiday