High anxiety with my kids well being - Anxiety and Depre...

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High anxiety with my kids well being

Jojo315
Jojo315

Hi,

I am new here... I have anxiety and depression. I was going to a therapist and taking meds until last year. I slowly weaned off the meds and sadly my therapist moved. I was doing better overall. I have massive anxiety about my kids. I get this overwhelming fear that something horrible will happen to them. When my kids esp my son is sick I have horrible intrusive thoughts of the worst possible outcome. Winter is around the corner and all I think about is the flu and my kids getting sick with it. Its is so overwhelming, my chest hurts, I tremble, my stomach begins to hurt. It is paralyzing!!! I had two difficult pregnancies, my daughter was only given 50% chance of surviving, she had surgery she 4 days old. She is doing well thankfully now. It was however very traumatic. My son was born with cleft lip and palate. He has has three surgeries. He is prone to illness. He has has a slew of illnesses that scared me. I literally go off the deep end everytime he is sick because I think there is something worse.

Can anyone relate to my issues? I would love to find a group that could help me.

Thank you.

7 Replies

What I'm hearing is that you don't trust yourself to be able to cope with your responsibilities. I can relate to that. I was overprotected as a child on the one hand while having my feelings ignored and discounted on the other. My early adult life was plagued by lack of confidence and avoidance.

My advice would be to slow it down and pay attention to what's happening right now. When you focus your attention on the present moment you have a better chance of seeing what's needed. Some mindfulness practice would be a good exercise to get you focused. This is a classic reference for mindfulness:

amazon.com/Wherever-You-The...

Jojo315
Jojo315 in reply to l8blmr

Thank you, I have actually tried mindfulness and it helped but not always. I will look into the book!

Sorry to hear of your concern for your children, Jojo. Or to be more accurate over concern.

It helps if you understand why this is. One of the symptoms of anxiety disorder is that it exaggerates normal concerns and worries ten fold. A strained tendon in the arm becomes the prelude to a heart attack. A new boss at work means you're bound to get the sack.

In your case, Jojo, your anxiety is exaggerating your normal concern for your children's welfare into an overwhelming fear that something horrible is going to happen to them.

Anxiety plays on minor fears and blows them up out of all proportion. This can release fear hormones that keep your nervous system sensitised so it just goes on and on.

Constantly remind yourself that your children are in no special danger: it's anxiety whispering in your ear that causes the problem.

Break the vicious cycle of fear causing more worry causing more fear causing more worry and give your nerves a break. Then they will slowly return to normal sensitivity and trouble you no more.

Practice seeing your problems in perspective and not as tired nerves are urging you.

Jojo, your children are going to be fine. After all, they have you as their mother. Nothing terrible is likely to happen to them. Even flu is soon followed by recovery. None of you are in danger. All manner of things will be well.

Jojo315
Jojo315 in reply to Jeff1943

That is exactly right... everything becomes catastrophic. It is horrible. I do talk to myself and try to rationalize why it isn't what I am thinking but sometimes it doesn't work. I'm hoping clarity comes into light for me.

Thank you for your response!

When your children have had health problems, it is easy to worry more about everything when they do get sick. Have them get a flu shot and that should ease the worry about them getting the flu. You care so much for your kids and that is a wonderful thing, just hope you can get to worrying about them so much. Kids are really resiliant and get over illness much faster that the older people. Give those little ones a big hug from this great-grandma !

Jojo315
Jojo315 in reply to trapis2

Thank you very much!

oops, meant to say STOP worrying about them so much.

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