Failure

[LoveLe]

So today is 5 weeks past another suicide attempt. You can imagine the anger. The fact that I still have to wake up and face the world every day and pretend to be ok just kills me. Im on meds, but oh dear I just do not see myself living. My loneliness is killing me and I have no one to reach out to. Everyone is so busy with their lifes that there is no time for them to listen neither do they understand the war inside me. So planning another fool proof one. This will be my bday present this year. I realised that humans are mean creatures. I have spoken to a councellor at SADAG and I will join the support group. I just don't know the purpose of my life. I just breathe.

[Hidden]

Oh please, please, please get the help you need. Life can change for the better for you, I understand how you feel, I felt that way 30 years ago yet I'm here & so glad I am. If you need to chat just pm me, I'm here for you. Love, peace & dump trucks of hugs for you!

[aaronm]

You can reach out to us here. We all understand and been through all very similar issues. We listen and support each other. It can and will get better but its not easy.

[LoveLe]

I am really trying

[fauxartist]

sometimes that's a good start...just concentrate on breathing.....this disease deceives you into believing there is no purpose of life because you feel so beaten down by depression. Is this the first time you have tried medication an if so, many of them do take a few weeks to kick in. My dosage was just upped because I was slipping back down emotionally for too long....and now after a few weeks my mood has levelled out again. Before meds. when I was self medicating ...I was where you are, I saw no point and had no one. I won't tell you any fairytale BS story about how wonderful life is after seeking therapy and meds....it's always going to be messy, there are always ups and downs emotionally even on meds...but I would never have met the love of my life, travelled to places I dreamed of as a kid, or settled in a beautiful place to live...sure....it's poverty in paradise....but rather that dwell on what I don't have...what I do have costs nothing.....

Give your meds a chance to kick in, and get some therapy, try some group....get more help than just this site.....we are just another tool in the toolbox to help with our management of our disease. It's not your fault you have this, it's chemical. You can feel better, but it takes some work....

[Eowyn7]

When you hit rock bottom you can only go up.

Keep trying. Even when it sucks, because what do you have to lose? Eventually things will get better.

If you ever want to talk I'm all ears. Just keep reaching out to people until you find help.

[babygirl1952]

Im Here to listen Any time You want Ok Im on This site most of the time I check. My emails very often so I have been there many times in the hospital because I tried to take my life and a hold was put on me I didn't want to live when I was younger but now I do I have to put the past behind me but it's not easy it's hard work but you can do it if you get someone strong that can work on your issues that upset most of the time and can I ask you this do you have a higher power if you do you might want to give those problems to that higher power so you can feel better.so dear I hope I have some reach your heart somehow I know your going to be ok

[babygirl1952]

Hey now there must be sometime that you like to do, maybe food to eat maybe you like pie I know this off the wall and that's that's the point to get your mind in a different direction so you can learn how to control your thoughts