Trying not to let POS people turn me to S plus a question

[Btsrslyffft]

Ive been pot free for 48 hours and i smoke pot for anxiety, one of my triggers for anxiety is a phone or doorbell ringing. So Halloween for me with all the doorbell ringing trick or treaters is hard even with pot. My anxiety makes my stomach hurt to the point I often cannot eat. Last night at dinner (i live with my parents and g-ma) I cried because I couldnt eat and also I had been having a hard time coping with anxiety without the pot. Normally I wouldnt show them how bad I was doing but it had been bad enough I ask them to not celebrate Halloween. I have had noticable anxiety for years and have NEVER ask them to cancel ANYTHING or even do anything for me concerning my anxiety. The meat of this post is: how do I forgive them? I know forgiveness is for me but right now all i can think is how after my ill healthed father passes way and mom comes to live with me, how it will be okay for me to not show her much regard when she is fragile. PS tho I know my love for her is unconditional so probably no matter the way she treats me Ill always treat her the way I want to be treated (and not what she deserves) So basically how do I extinguish my anger over her not taking my issue seriously? I try not to make my problems their problems but when I really have a problem and they show they dont care I dont feel loved and thats depressing..... The only think I can think is this bad Karma they made for themselves will send them to their version of hell or take away from their good Karma time in heaven and then maybe they will be reincarnated into stink bugs for being asshole humans

[Btsrslyffft]

bright side is as I sit in my room typing this with guests downstairs having a good time and trick or treaters ringing the doorbell.....I am not as anxious as I thought Id be and its probably because Im angry.....Im def in a bit of a flight or fight mode right now but instead of flight Im feeling like whooping some A$$! Anxiety plus a pinch of anger = pissy copability apparently

[Stephabbiss143]

I felt every emotion with this post. I even chuckled a bit at the end. You're 100 percent correct. If your family claims to love you, you should feel open to go to them with what ails. I am so sorry you struggled with halloween. I struggle with Christmas and thanksgiving. Please keep us posted with how you communicate w your family . This truly helped me. I thought I was the only one.