Depressed today.

I don’t know why but I can’t get the thought of whether or not to have a child out of my head and it’s making me depressed. I never wanted children before but the idea recently started to sound fulfilling. What would I do with my life if I didn’t have a kid? Yet the anxiety of what ifs and even if my husband would want one with me (he’s undecided) are driving me crazy. How can I find peace with either decision?

[Hidden]

Tough one......Try not to overthink things too much in the moment. Our brains are funny things in that they run wild with what-if scenarios and it causes us to get depressed. You need to get on the same page as your husband first then from there hopefully a decision will become a lot more clear. Hang in there!

[HopeinGod]

Hi mrsmandy, having a baby is a HUGE responsibility so it’s not strange to be apprehensive or even depressed about whether to have a baby or not. It is, after all, a lifetime commitment!

You mentioned that you never wanted children, so do you know what triggered the idea of having one? Perhaps reflecting on that might help?

I guess one way to help with this decision is by talking to your husband and asking each other, “What was the most difficult decision you made? What helped you decide to act on that decision? What did you learn about yourself while making that decision?”

Have you considered asking empty nest couples (even your parents) as well as couples who have little kids/teens/college kids why they decided to have kids and if they were glad they did? I think you will get a variety of answers but you may see a pattern/s emerge in their answers. Hope this helps, blessings.

[maslater]

I never make a big life decision when I’m having a depressive time. My advice is to wait until your sure