This will be my THIRD attempt at working. I start yet another part time job on Monday. Let’s see if I can last longer than half a day like the other two attempts... SO much is riding on this job for me.
I will most likely lose my home and car because my parents will kick me out if I can’t keep this job. They have no sympathy for me which makes my constant lightheadedness that much more scary and difficult to deal with. I feel like it’s this job or the highway in terms of my family. I can’t bare the thought of disappointing everyone including myself yet again if I fail. Just because I look normal on the outside does NOT mean I feel normal inside.. I wish they understood and had more sympathy for me 😞
I am so beyond terrified for this endeavor. They say third times a charm though... right?
Positive vibes needed 🌈💚
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rachel913
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Rachel I have been exactly in your shoes and sill am.. I started an internship after quitting 2 prior jobs due to anxiety and insomnia. I was terrified the night before my internship and barely slept the entire first week. I prayed and cried, somehow God got me through it. I’ve been doing well
and they are hiring me. The old feelings of insecurity are coming back. I’m once again crying and praying. Sleep hasn’t been too good. Epsom salt baths and magnesium oil on the feet relax the nerves. Also taking 400mg of ashwaghanda in milk before bed. Also just not letting yourself quit. Learning to face your fear even if you feel like running away, this is called courage. Life takes courage. I recommend the book The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck on audible is very good to listen to. I listen to it almost every night before bed. Also remind yourself that the people at your new job are just people with problems just like you. They aren’t better than you. Everyone is screwed up to some extent it’s just you can’t tell by looking at someone. You can do this ❤️
Best wishes! Don’t think about lasting the whole shift. Just concentrate on getting through one hour at a time or even half hour. Before you know it the shift will be over.
that is definitely good advice to keep in mind -- i need to learn to focus on the present instead of worrying about how much time i have left in total.
rachel913, you never could disappoint me because you are trying. We understand how difficult it is to struggle past our fears. Do this for you on Monday w/o any fear of disappointing any one. It will just take the right job and everything will click in place
including your anxiety levels. Try doing some deep breathing this weekend. Check out
YouTube videos on that. Deep breathing can and will reduce that lightheadedness feeling
as well as making sure you are well hydrated. Deep breathing can be the magic key in
reducing your anxiety. Good Luck Rachel. It will happen for you. xx
I'm in a similar situation. I own my own house and truck. I recently started a new job after having to take stress/medical leave from my previous employer. Every day is a struggle getting out of bed to make it to work to ensure I don't lose my house and truck that I've worked and fought so hard for in the separation. Feel free to send me a message if you ever need to talk!
How did it go? I hope you're having more success this time around. I know how hard it is to work when you feel like you can't. And I know how difficult it is to have no support from your family. Every step I've taken on my journey toward wellness I've had to take on my own. Yes, I have friends who support me and are my biggest cheerleaders, but my family doesn't get it -- and they probably never will. I believe in you, even if you falter. And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I'm a great listener and I have a passion for providing support for others who also struggle with what we do. One of my life goals is to make sure that no one else ever has to go through these trials alone. I've had to do it, and no one should ever have to be in that position.
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