I Didn’t Always Feel This Way

[HelpWanted92]

Hello Again,

I kind of just wanted to share a little bit about my experience honestly and it helps to type out what I’m thinking.

So for the past three years I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and most recently depression.

I barely get out of my house because I have this strong fear something bad will happen to me, medically.

I don’t do the things I enjoyed like going to the movies, etc.

I also haven’t been able to drive on the highway for the past three years and most recently I haven’t been able to drive at all.

I just remember when things were so different. I use to be just an outgoing person. I could drive on the highway to and from college which was a 4 hour drive easily. I always partied and hung out with my friends, traveled the world without worry.

The difference in me is really effecting the people around me and also me mentally because I know I AM NOT THIS PERSON.

Does anyone else feel like that?

Does this last forever?

What helps besides medications?

[fauxartist]

Was there some dramatic change in your life that you feel was the turning point for this to begin, have you had things in your past that have possibly started surfacing and your not able to pinpoint what that is.... have you talked to a therapist to start on a course of treatment to help you ....

[HelpWanted92 in reply to fauxartist]

I was basically graduating from college around that time, starting a new job, things like that but I usually handle stress really well.

I’ve attempted to speak to a therapist but I like to do things daily instead of having to wait for weekly meetings.

[Rachel2535]

This happened to me after a very traumatic event. I didn’t know this though for years later until I remembered the event and how I changed after. Finding a good therapist might help you trace your steps to what it was that changed you. (I just realized someone mentioned the same thing below.). For what its worth though I can now do things without fear. For me the saving grace is His (Jesus) grace and protection. That is what has gotten me through it. I truly hope you find answering and wholeness. Thank you for sharing your struggles. We all have them and talking them out is so helpful.

[HelpWanted92 in reply to Rachel2535]

Thank you and I’m actually very happy to hear that you found peace through Jesus. I’m on a spiritual journey myself and I only fear because of questions of the unknown. Hopefully with reading the Bible I will have a better understanding

[Sunflowergirl09]

I feel the same way. I refuse any medication and just try to live with it. And pretend I am ok. It honestly sucks.

[HelpWanted92 in reply to Sunflowergirl09]

Have you tried therapy?

[gemfire]

I also have avoidance behavior. I avoid the things that cause anxiety so I don't get a panic attack. For me it's always a situation where you don't have an immediate escape. An example would be waiting in line at a fast food drive-thru ... car in front and car behind. At red lights surrounded by cars. On a highway where the distance between exits seems too far away. Also, at social functions where just getting up and leaving would be embarrassing. That's just a couple of examples. Anyhow, I basically try not to put myself in situations that cause anxiety but in the meantime I'm missing out on a lot of things that I should be doing. Vicious cycle for sure. It's a learned behavior that is hard to break the cycle.

[HelpWanted92 in reply to gemfire]

That is exactly how I feel. I can’t drive on the highway when the exits are too far. I always need an immediate escape. I’m always looking at emergency exits. I most recently have not been able to get on a yacht and I’ve been totally missing out. I don’t want to live like this forever. Do you? How can we change this. I wish there was a magic pill that made all this go away, hypnosis, something.

[gemfire in reply to HelpWanted92]

I wish there was an easy remedy! The only thing that has helped a little bit is something called Exposure Therapy. Do a search for it. It's hard to do for sure. Some days harder than others. I've had this problem for many years and just time, information and also knowing that you're not the only person on the planet with these issues have helped. I've always thought it was a form of PTSD from high anxiety/panic attacks. BTW: I still avoid the highway and take the long way

[HelpWanted92 in reply to gemfire]

Yea it seems to be something like that. Like PTSD. I can only go places I’m comfortable and I actually can’t be alone now since one of my worst panic attacks was when I was by myself.

It’s terrible.

But it is good to know people who have similar experiences