Need support and advice

[Emmmm1421]

Every time my husband goes out he meet a different women and always take their phone number when ever I try to talk to him about it he would get mad and saying I must stop search his phone and it his.and he is not calling no one.so I say why take their number.every week is a different one.with Al these std am very worry don't want he brings home any thing and I catch it.cause truly I don't know what he does when he out.😅😅

[Hidden]

I think you raise legitimate concerns. You already asked him about them. I don’t know what else someone in your situation can do. Maybe withholding being intimate with him might make him take you more seriously?

[Emmmm1421 in reply to Hidden]

Ok

[hypercat54]

Hi why not play him at his own game and start taking men's phone numbers? I bet he wouldn't like that. It seems clear he has something to hide and is playing away. It is up to you what you want to do about it though. If this was me I would tell him straight any playing away and I would be out the door. x

[Emmmm1421 in reply to hypercat54]

Some time I feel that way.i think sometimes been a good girl don't make sense these days.i never cheated on him.these men like hoes

[Emmmm1421 in reply to Emmmm1421]

Will this even make sense I just feel like just go buy a sex toy and done with men for good.too much heart break.

[frenchie2008 in reply to Emmmm1421]

That’s straight facts... the majority consider hoes. Hoes don’t care how they’re treated. Real women do

[Strongheartforever]

Bottom line is you are wasting your precious life with a scumbag. It’s not easy to start over but you gotta rebuild what’s left of your dignity and get out. I know I’m blunt but this life is short and the only thing holding you back is your own mind. The key to freedom is there too. It’s all there. You can stay and be miserable or you can leave and start healing your life. He’s already gone.

[Emmmm1421 in reply to Strongheartforever]

True

[Hidden]

Do you have children? I ask because I wonder why you would stay with someone like that. You are right you don’t want to catch anything but you also don’t deserve to be treated that way because it is disrespectful and he doesn’t deserve your trust. You can’t have a real relationship without trust.

[Emmmm1421 in reply to Hidden]

Yes we have a 2 years old baby together

[Emmmm1421]

Thank you all it's so nice when you can have someone to talk your problem with.its make your mind free some of the stress

[Strongheartforever in reply to Emmmm1421]

We all want you to be free of this guy and in a safe and cozy home with your sweet child. This man will be ordered by a judge to support you. Take the time to heal and get through the pain of being on your own for a while. Your friends and family will hold you up. Being with this man every day is destructive and traumatizing. You are not alone at all in this tough situation. So many women feel stuck and lost and trapped, but there is always a way out. Find a women’s group that will understand, support and rally around you. Keep talking to us. Always here for you.

[Emmmm1421 in reply to Strongheartforever]

Thank much

[katcom in reply to Strongheartforever]

I agree, find a women's supportive group might help you. I believe they can provides legal advise for you and of course emotional supports.

[Squinder1]

I’m sorry to be so blunt, but send him packing. It won’t be easy, but you’ll be glad you did. You’re probably better than he deserves and you owe him nothing.

[Marielle1]

Why does he go out with out you? Go out with him !

[Hidden]

You may need couples counseling. Yes it is his phone but you have chosen to look through it and found something that goes beyond his right to privacy, his responsibility to be faithful to your relationship. He may have a mental health issue. I just do not think it is normal what he is doing. In spite of that, you do not have to tolerate this disrespect.

I would not even bother looking through his phone any longer. I would just insist on counseling for the two of you. Let him know and you have to mean it, you will not tolerate his infidelity. It does not even matter if he is doing anything physical with them at the very least it is emotional infidelity by sitting there talking in a manner that would lead to an exchange of phone numbers.

You have to be strong and stand up for yourself and your marriage. Counseling is the only thing that is going to ward off where your relationship is heading. If not, one day you will wake up and declare you have had enough, either that or he will beat you down so much spiritually and emotionally you will develop mental health issues. You have a child to take care of and can not afford for that to happen to you.

Wishing you the best. God’s blessings.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

I agree with most of what has been said. How does he show he loves you? Is he a natural flirt? Were you direct in asking him to stop taking numbers? Some women just take the phone and input it themselves. Can you do family counseling to have a third party therapist help him see that this is hurtful to you? Definitely withhold intimacy if you fear STDs. Do not retaliate by doing it back to him. Take the high road.

[Hidden in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

“Some women just take a phone and input themselves “ oh come on! The man can yank his phone back, delete the number, or, here’s a good one, don’t get in a position like that in the first place

[Delanna]

I am sorry I am gonna be honest here everyone has their own opinion .

Rule number one if a man does not lend you his phone he is definately hiding somethig. Yes your phone is your privacy but then again if you are faithful you wouldn't have anything to hide right? Sorry in this technological age is a bit tricky here.

A married man shouldn't flirt with any other women other than his wife. That is common sense. If he does not acknowledge that you are hurt from his behaviour then that is such a shame.

This is a.typical gas lighting behaviour men try to guilt trip and question your sanity sometimes. Sick and pathetic.

It is not in my place to tell you what to do you are married to him after all and you call the shots.

Remember we al deserve to be with somebody that values each other.

[kenster1]

you should leave him then.no matter how much my life sxxxs I would never cheat on my partner.you deserve better.

[LeslieKP]

Time for coinselingnor going tonandocorce lawyer. No married man should be getting numbers from women or goingoit thatnoften for that matter. You are better off on your own. Good luck sweetie, you deserve better

[NCAQuilter]

Are you staying with this person because of your child? This is not a healthy environment for a child. A child needs parents around them who love and respect each other.

The advice for marriage counseling is a great one. I doubt your husband will be willing to go, but going alone may be helpful to you. You may discover why you are tolerating this behavior from someone so intimately related to you. And, you may find ways to work with your husband that will make life better all the way around. Or, you may come to the realization there is no other option but leaving him.

I am truly sorry you are going through this trauma. Personally, I haven't experienced anything like you are as my husband has never given me a moments concern for all the decades we've been married. But, I have friends .....

Keep in touch. We'll help you through any decision you make. Love and hugs to comfort you.

[Hidden]

Your husband is wrong to be connecting with other women . He is obviously doing something to encourage them- don’t let him play you.

Unless you’re okay with sharing, this is a deal breaker.

His anger at you is deflecting from the real problem- him.

Tell him start staying home and no more phone numbers or get out.

You don’t deserve to be a doormat- don’t be