Anyone feel like a "meltdown" is coming g but it doesn't come?

[Tado]

I had a week of "spells" from my OCD that I feared was psychosis. My therapist assured me it wasn't because though I felt dissociation I was very much aware of true reality. Anyways, I've been "back to normal" since and then the last few days I've been very anxious unexplained. I feared another " meltdown" is going to happen. Its like all my psychosis and schizophrenia fears are back even though I know I'm okay and that they're just REALLY bad anxiety attacks per therapist. Any advice? Does it means one's gonna happen?

[prose2]

i know what you mean in terms of those fears because i too have a crippling phobia of becoming schizophrenic and ill pay attention to every little sound and start panicking if it was real or if it’s all in my head and i talked to my former therapist about it and she said it’s highly unlikely ecspecially with schizophrenia because there is usually a direct bloodline of it in your family. and i know it’s hard to believe because your like but what if i’m the exception or what if they are wrong but you aren’t alone and if u ever need to talk feel free to chat wish the best for u!

[Tado in reply to prose2]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through that too. BUT SERIOUSLY THANK YOU. Thats my exact fear! And I don't have any schiz in my family but since we have mental health issues I have taken it and ran with that fear. Then you mix in my resurrance compulsion of OCD and it's debilitating. I think about what I see and hear and then bug my husband "Did you hear that" "Did you see that". Then you also have normal human mistakes like hearing your name when they said a different word, or like my husband always thinks I'm yelling his name when he's upstairs (lol) and then I'm convinced...

Also the fact that "normal" and "not normal" are so close it's terrifying. Like my therapist said my spell wasn't psychosi. I had all the same symptoms but because I had insight and no delusions the disassociating was anxiety. That close to psychosis. I'm glad but still having, for example, 10 of 12 symrpomd of something and not having it is very hard to convince yourself.

[prose2 in reply to Tado]

excatly!! its like your just waiting for your psychotic break to come and it’s tiring feeling all of that anticipation and anxiety over something so debilitating and something that might not even come. and yeah my fear started because i was in class and i had my headphones in and i heard someone say my name and i asked the girl next to me if she did and she said nobody said anything. it sent me into a spiral that haven’t been able to break since.

[Tado in reply to prose2]

Mine started with taking my first dose of medication for my OCD and I was so scared I'd feel weird that I just worried myself sick. Then I googled so deep I found psychosis and schizophrenia and then I found a correlation between OCD, schiz and psychosis and lost it. This was a court weeks ago for I was like that for a week straight, couldn't do anything. Almost checked into a hospital. Then it just stopped. And now I randomly fet anxious and just freak out in worry all over again. And it's so random. Like I'll go days with not a thought about it and then I lose days to fear. It's tiring and extremely depressing.

[MomLeslieM]

Anxiety attacks are so hard....try to find the good things to focus on and try not to think about a meltdown coming - because that almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy then. Try to listen to calming music and use relaxation videos to help you take your mind off your fears and relax too. Those can really help I've found. Do you have someone you can call and talk to if you need to? There's always these boards too to reach out anytime day or night. Keep trying to move forward - one step at a time!

[Tado in reply to MomLeslieM]

My husband is supportive but doesn't quite understand it so it's not like talking to someone who struggles with it. Today and yesterday I heard whispering that wasn't there (once yesterday and once today) and now my fear of schizophrenia is back... Does anyone else just hear things that aren't there sometimes? And sometimes I'll see little flashes of lights. Then I googled so that didn't help. It really is a self fulfilling prophecy because I'm making myself panic.

[MomLeslieM in reply to Tado]

What did your therapist say about the whispering? Are there any group sessions nearby you could be involved with - you might ask your therapist about that. Then you'd be able to talk to others who do get it moreso than your husband who, like you said can't completely understand....

[Tado in reply to MomLeslieM]

He wasnt concerned. He said it's normal to hear things not there. Of course within reason. He said schiz people don't worry they're schiz, because it's just normal and real to them.

[MomLeslieM in reply to Tado]

Good! I think he's right - in my experiences those with schiz. have no idea how delusional they are! Sounds like you've got a good therapist on your side and you're well grounded -- just keep fighting to stay strong!

[Tado in reply to MomLeslieM]

Thank you. I think it's two issues. First I like certainty. Everyone does but because my OCD (reassurance part) it unbearable. And the line between "normal" and "not normal" is very thin and for me that terrifying. Then fear of losing control and something happening affecting my life drastically. So I'll be working hard on both those issues and I should find comfort.