Health Anxiety?

[SmudgeCat]

I currently have major health anxiety. Awaiting scans that cannot be brought forward (unless in critical condition) and having to wait a week and a half when am in pain and severe discomfort. I have just graduated and am looking for a job however in my state this has been put on hold. So am just trying to control my anxiety and occupy myself in the home however this is VERY VERY difficult.

- Not knowing exactly what is wrong until scans etc... are done

- Not being able to exercise and do the things i want to do + everyday things

I honestly feel like i am going insane. And with the pain and discomfort it is all just so unbearable. Even so when i am alone.

[Sunshine0307]

Health anxiety is awful. I have been the same for some years now. I left my job in 2014 as it got so bad. Went back to a new job in 2017 and seem to have hit a slump again.

I totally get you regards to having pain and not knowing what’s wrong. Easier said than done but I found just talking to other likeminded people the way forward for me.

I hope you get your scans soon. I’m waiting on a liver scan but could be weeks. UK waiting times sadly.

[SmudgeCat in reply to Sunshine0307]

Glad to know it isn't just me. I am finding it unbearable I don't know what to do with myself. It's like I am going crazy- not know exactly what is wrong and therefore can't do anything to help the pain and discomfort. It's difficult not to stay in bed all day just as a method of coping. I just want to cry all the time, thinking why won't anybody help me. And I am scared of being in the house alone. Really don't know what to do. I hope your scan comes as quick as possible!!!! Thank you

[Sunshine0307 in reply to SmudgeCat]

I really had to push myself a few years back. Took me half hour to work the courage to get out of the car early evening when the supermarket was quiet. Just to push myself for some milk. I’ve read all sorts of anxiety books, done cbt had antidepressants. Once you’ve got your results of your scan hopefully your mindset may become clearer. I really do sympathise with you. All I wanted to do was stay curled up in bed. The physical symptoms of anxiety can be awful. And I pray that is all it is and not something else. You are not going crazy. Promise. Just keep talking. Do what feels right for you.

[SmudgeCat in reply to Sunshine0307]

Thank you, although it makes me feel worse to do something physically, mentally it helps for a tiny bit.

I have had uti's constantly for at least 5yrs, ie 4 times this year already. And there is no longer an infection currently as I had antibiotics for it previously and my blood came back fine. But my back/kidneys and most of all bladder are unbearable! Just have painkillers in the mean time. Not knowing (unknown) really sets me back.

Yeah I had cbt also but sessions were cut sort as I was in bereavement at the time.

Am literally waiting for this appointment at the end of next week! Feels like ages away when you aren't able to really do anything. They suggested A&E if needed at some point x

[Sunshine0307 in reply to SmudgeCat]

I once had kidney stones or should I say ‘one kidney stone’ stuck in my urethra. Sheer hell. Was admitted for that. So I don’t know how your coping! Don’t put up with it Hun. If you need to go to a&e then go. Specially if painkillers are not helping and you’ve history of uti’s. Think of number one! That is you x

[SmudgeCat in reply to Sunshine0307]

Thank you, really helps speaking to you 💕 Sounds bad but nice to know you seem to have been through something similar. They said blood test was fine and urine sample no infection because I had taken antibiotics previously. And as I don't constant temperature/vomiting or dying they can't do a lot (this was in the AECU unit). The receptionist did say about A&E as they should be able to do scans like you mentioned if nothing gets better from any painkillers or anything. Plus another excruciating long wait. I'm at home on my own tomorrow so anxious about that. And my mental state I feel just deteriorating from progress I have made, thinking bad things. Just fed up and evacuated of it all. Like I'm making it up and insane when i would do anything not to feel like this! Xx

[Sunshine0307 in reply to SmudgeCat]

Bless you. I find talking to others like this helps me. Are the pain killers doing any good to ease some of the pain away? Or is there any cream/gel you can put on. Heat is helpful like a wheat bag or hot water bottle but I guess you’ll have tried all this.

I’d say tomorrow try just plan things like movies, books or something, but it is easier said that done. I write my thoughts down sometimes to get it all out.

I’ve been for a walk this afternoon. Tried to keep moving as it was my day off work today. Stuck my earphones in and went. Got some trouble with my back at the minute so now I’m sat with a heat pad 🙄 can’t win. But it’s so normal for thoughts to spiral. You will get through this 😘 xx

[SmudgeCat in reply to Sunshine0307]

Painkillers don't really help unfortunately. I am constantly using my hot water bottle! Sounds bad but so much so got a bit of heat rash as a bit close on skin. But only thing that deflects the pain a tiny bit.

Oh that sounds good, well done you! - hope it feels a bit better soon.

Thank you, feels utterly impossible at the minute, unbearable and difficult to cope but I really hope so!!! Xxx💕

[Sunshine0307 in reply to SmudgeCat]

Well you got to do what you need to! Get curled up, warmed up and hope you have an easier night xxx

[SmudgeCat in reply to Sunshine0307]

Thank you very much, you also! I just worry about not being able to last a week on Friday and what to do xxx

[prose2]

i totally relate, i’ve had severe hyposoncdria and intrusive thoughts relating to my health since i was 8 and it’s terrifying. everyone sees you as over reacting and that them just saying your fine will calm the anxiety but it won’t. just know that you aren’t going crazy. i never really found a coping mechanism either but (i know it might not mean a lot right now) i just wanted to let you know that even though it’s unbareable, you aren’t crazy and your not alone. if u ever want to chat feel free to message me if u need someone to talk to who understands!

[SmudgeCat in reply to prose2]

Thank you. Yeah I know my anxiety makes everything worse and I try to keep it under control but times like this it just takes over.

And I just want them to do scans and what not but like everyone knows the LONG waiting lists and just to show I'm not making up this pain. So once the cause is found at least a plan of action can be put into place

[b1b1b1]

I do understand. Is there any way you can arrange for the test to be done privately?It's understandable that you are anxious. While there are also a lot of issues with the US medical care sysem, the waits are not long if you have insurance. What you are going through is torture in my opinion, and is very difficult to deal with. Can you try to distract yourself and take an occasional tranquilizer? How long do you have to wait? xx

[SmudgeCat in reply to b1b1b1]

In the U.K. the waiting lists are long and terrible (though I understand). I have a week and a half left to wait which doesn't sound bad normally considering I booked it two months ago but I wasn't like this then. They said that unless I was to potentially 'die' within the next week or so then they can't put forward scan. Have to check wedsite every hour for any cancellations but unlikely. I did try to look at private care in the uk but believe it's very costly and not sure how it works xx

[b1b1b1 in reply to SmudgeCat]

It's good that it's only a week and a half at this point, but I do understand the anxiety. I am very much the same. xx

[SmudgeCat]

Yeah I know it could be a lot worse but at this point it's unbearable and hard to control anxiety xxx

[Bellamafia]

I have bad health anxiety. I’m always thinking I’m going to have a stroke or something weird like that. I get this brain fog like state and don’t feel like myself. I have issues with sleeping lately. I won’t take meds as I don’t want side effects and I’m scared to. I’m always in a battle being scared something is wrong. Blood tests come back normal doc said I’m all good. Don’t get it! Then why does it feel like this in my head.

[SmudgeCat in reply to Bellamafia]

I get what you mean about medication. I don't like taking things unless I have to also. Have they done other tests? Or maybe you are lacking in something? There are some natural herbal things that can help with sleep that you can take on the days you really need them. Have you had a health scare or family experience that perhaps fuels your panic also? I hate feeling like I'm crazy and making things up when in fact for example I really am in pain etc...

I used to be on antidepressants for my anxiety but stopped as I didn't really find them helpful myself. Hope you sleep well! - i often leave my tv on really low volume so I have that as company and to distract my own thoughts around bedtime xxx

[Bellamafia in reply to SmudgeCat]

I had my best friends son die of brain cancer several years ago at 5 years old. I then moved to Hawaii far away from my friends and family to be with my fiancé for his job. So I was told by therapist that’s why I don’t know how I feel