Alone.

[AliceOwi]

I feel so alone I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been suffering from depression since middle school and it’s so hard to talk about simply because I don’t feel like anyone will understand or feel my pain. Recently I’ve been feeling so down, I’m always tired and I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’ve always wondered how others around me will feel once they hear I’m gone. I’ve never been diagnosed but I know this runs in my family.

[faulhallen]

Hello Alice! I don’t see any other posts by you so welcome to the group. If you ever need to talk you can reach out to me and I’m sure plenty of other people would be happy to support you and listen as well!

I’ve suffered since middle school and been treated since high school. It isn’t always easy to talk about with people who have never experienced it. Depression has so many symptoms and they all seem to drive you further into yourself making you more depressed.

I’m glad you decided to join us and I hope you find the relief you need. Just remember that as long as you’re on here you’re never truly alone 🙂

[AliceOwi in reply to faulhallen]

I’m glad that I’ve joined this group. This is all new to me

[TheEraOfSarah]

Plenty of people here have felt exactly what you’re feeling. It’s going to be ok. You should talk to a doctor and/or therapist about what your feeling. They are trained for this and lots of therapists have even been where you are. Things can get better, but you have to work for it. It’s worth the effort. We are all here for you.

[AliceOwi in reply to TheEraOfSarah]

Thank you so much Sarah

[Me-Too]

Alice, yes, I hear you and understand you and what you mean, your feelings of loneliness and loss. We lived next to a graveyard when I was nine years old used to walk there after school and cry and tell them it wasn't fair they got to be dead and I didn't. Believe me, I learned depression's sad lessons early in life.

Realizing young people around me preferred smiling faces to those that were grim-faced, it seemed best to me to just smile and say nothing about how I really felt until I was nineteen, and then, I attempted suicide.

I didn't succeed, a friend saved me in time, but it was close, I wouldn't want to bet my life on it today.

I am much older now, have two children, a partner, a happy long-term relationship and it is true I am still coping with anxiety.

I hope you will hear me when I say you are not alone. You will meet many women and men who will understand and help you deal with your very real pain and overwhelming loneliness.

If there is any way I can write to you again, I will. Bye for now.

Me-Too

[AliceOwi in reply to Me-Too]

Thank you to replying to my post. In your second paragraph , you mentioned that people around you preferred smiling faces to those grim faced, and I’m definitely feeling that right now. Others around me seem to distance themselves from me because of the way I’m acting, I don’t know how to tell them how I’m feeling so in return I’m distant as well, which isn’t good. Thanks for the support 🖤 so glad I joined this group.

[Me-Too in reply to AliceOwi]

AliceOwi, it was always natural for me to put on a smiling face, except on my worst days, then I was hospitalized by my choice and my doctor's. I am a people pleaser who will walk a mile to avoid a conflict, and I do not like to see people in pain.

Even people who love you do not know what to say or do to make you feel better!

So they feel uncomfortable and say and do nothing. Then they will do anything that someone they think is smart tells them to do for you, usually what a doctor says to do.

I read on one of your posts that you wonder if anxiety is inherited. It very well could be. Social Anxiety Disorder is now known to be a high-functioning form of Autism, and it is in the family of mental health disorders that are inherited.

Usually, if you look closely, you will find in other members of your family some form of mental disorder or illness because they have inherited too! The pain they see in you each may feel frightened is in their future!

Try giving yourself and those around you the benefit of the doubt where you can.

Where there is true meanness, call it out calmly, in few words, then be quiet.

If someone does something right, encourage them to do that again.

I enjoyed your answer, Take Care!

Me-Too

[Hidden]

Hey, it gets better. You’re not alone... life is really hard but keep fighting. You’re loved and you have people who care about you.. stay strong

[AliceOwi in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, just trying to keep my head up

[pink318]

Hi Alice,

Sorry you are going through this. You’ve been through a lot. I want you to know that you are not alone because we are here for you. Please keep sharing. Try also to consult with your doctor, it will be a big help in what you are going through right now.

Stay strong. You are in my prayers. Take care.