Struggling pretty bad right no...

[melbrown]

Struggling pretty bad right now... don't even know why... the dark thoughts are trying to creep back.... on way to support meeting... my husband is carrying so much... don't know...😭

[Ironj]

Why are you struggling right now what on your mind ?

[melbrown in reply to Ironj]

My mom is moving to another state in like 3 weeks... bringing up trauma from childhood (My father was abusive, there was a time she left... she came back & they divorced. She got custody of us.) About to go into busy time at work.... I work at a costume shop, so naturally October is busy. Very stressful & chances are understaffed & some of the people aren't the best. I was on medical leave for 3 weeks in August for anxiety/depression. Dr. ordered Thurs off this month for support meetings... not sure if getting extended... my boss has hinted that they need me back full time. But work is not helping with my mental being, so I think still need this time... There's more, but that's the important parts. Thanks... sorry so long

[Agora1 in reply to melbrown]

I'm so sorry Mel. Know that we all care. xx

[melbrown in reply to Agora1]

Hugs Beautiful Agora1 ❤ Love you.

[Hidden]

Let him be your support Mel, and jeez i really don't like your boss always have you doing everything why can't they hire more people?!!!!😒😒😒

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

You should be glad to know I texted him after seeing your reply. As for work.... short answer they are stupid. My Thurs medical leave got extended... so my boss can deal (would say something else). How are you doing? Agora1 & I want to know where are tasty donuts are 🍩?

[Marshall64]

Hopefully going to the support group will help you turn things back around. They have helped me a lot.

Hang in there. Hope things get better for you.

[melbrown in reply to Marshall64]

Thank you... it did some... even got me smiling, laughing at times. And luckily there was no doubt of Thurs still be8ng an medical excused day off.😊

[fauxartist]

Hey mel.... you know the drill.... your husband is doing what he wants to do, and that is help you...he's a big boy and can make his own choices and he chooses to be with you and help you...please don't worry about other people.... just keep holding on to those who love you and remember those dark thoughts are this friggin disease...we feel them and there does not have to be any reason why we feel them....it's the disease. I am very glad your going to the meetings....and I am glad to hear from you.....please know your good people and your never alone here.... and you don't have to worry sharing here, share what you need to share because we all have it too....we understand

[melbrown in reply to fauxartist]

Oh, Fauxartist I wish I could give you a big hug. It's me worrying about him.... I know he loves me... unfortunately taking care of his dad is been a lot on him. He's an alcoholic who sadly is never going to get better (he's in his 70s & is basically self medicating his depression). It's tough.... I'm trying to help as much as I can. Your words & support mean the world to me. You are amazing friend. Love you very much. Hugs.

[fauxartist in reply to melbrown]

That's tough.... because an alcoholic active in drinking is just a dead end eventually, and I'm sure his father at that age sadly is just going to get sicker faster because he is drinking...I hope your husband understands there's nothing he can do for him unless he chooses to stop drinking. But love is love....and I can understand your worry but your need for him is okay too.... your his partner and mate... at some point the father will probably start having organ failure and I hope your husband has been told about this....at that point he will need hospice or to be in a care facility... your husband won't be able to mind him then. But your needs are valid and equally important....so he knows that .... so let him care and love you honey...guilt free... all my love to you.

[melbrown in reply to fauxartist]

We both are aware of the likelihood of dad's future... My husband has been taking him to store or other errands once a week... he moves around like a 90 year old. Last year he ended up in the hospital over his drinking. I think my husband is realizing this is more than he alone can handle... was going to research on options. Luckily he (dad) was left a sizable inheritance- which was left in a trust. We talked last night, everything is good between us. ❤

[fauxartist in reply to melbrown]

thankfully you two are working together mel.... it's hell when we are at odds with our partner... I recently went through the same thing...feeling bad that I could not appreciate fully the relationship my partner was in with kids....I of course support them 110%.... it's just difficult when you may see things differently....but we have had two weeks of on and off conversation and a meeting of the minds...so we are good too.

[melbrown in reply to fauxartist]

I'm glad you 2 worked it out... and that things are more peaceful at home. It's so important for our home to be our safe place & our partner by our side. They help us know we're okay, loved & remind us who we are, which is not the anxiety & depression.

[Hidden]

I’m struggling really badly too... I love you & I am praying for you to get through these thoughts. You are worthy of a beautiful life. Please keep holding on. 💕

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

My little sis ❤ Was thinking of you when I saw all the pumpkin goodies Trader Joe's is carrying.🎃 We need to tell this junk to take a serious hike. Love you too... & you will find your happy. I keep thinking of what you said about my beating heart being my purpose.

[Hidden in reply to melbrown]

My big sister. <3 I think of you all the time. That made me smile when you thought of me seeing all the pumpkin goodies in the store. I love that so much. Halloween, fall & my birthday time is my favorite time of the year. I hope & pray that you find your happy too. Please think positive thoughts & no more bad ones. They are just our illness playing tricks on us & trying to deceive us to believe we are not as amazing as we are. You beating heart is definitely your purpose. That's the only purpose that should matter right now. I love you. <3

[Lynseyhot]

Need to talk about anything give me shout I am free anytime might able to help each other I am struggling to

[melbrown in reply to Lynseyhot]

Oh, thank you. Knowing we're not alone helps so much... here for you too. ❤

[Starrlight]

I am struggling too...(((((hugs to you))))) Im sure we share some of the same troubles. I like what Fauxartist says “please don’t worry about other people”...because we tend to take care of others while we are slipping down stumbling and it becomes too much...I am st a point where it’s so important to share and even if it feels scary or awkward, we need to and we have eachother...this disease is not us... we will get through

[melbrown in reply to Starrlight]

Hugs Starrlight ❤❤❤ You hit it on the head, I diefently worry about others, put people before myself. Part of what we talked about at group. Trying to learn I matter, that my mental well being is important.... that having depression & anxiety doesn't make me a weak or bad person... Support here really helps.

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

You are so special so important you are strong and good deserving and beautiful Today instead of running around doing this for him and that for the other I did what I needed for me and I was selfish but in s good way. Still not wuite there yet but learning to take care of myself which means making better choices.

[Agora1]

Mel, sending you a warm hug today just to let you know I care. xx

[melbrown in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much Agora1 ❤ Needed that. Trying to be calm, practice some of the tools I've learned. Knowing I have support helps. Big warm hugs to you too. Hope today finds you with some peace. Love you.

[Starrlight]

Hey Mel 💕 stopping by to bring you my biggest and best hug! How are you doing?

[melbrown in reply to Starrlight]

❤ Starrlight (((hugs))) I'm on my way to work, trying hard to keep it together. Yesterday I broke down & bawled my eyes out. Luckily today I work with some understanding coworkers, unluckily I need to be there. I'm hoping I can make it through the day.

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

I hear you, strong one. Even us strong ones have these times. I’ve got to venture out and drive out of my comfort zone to the dreaded dentist. I think I will take something with me to remind me it’s ok. I bet you will make it Mel, and if you didn’t it wouldn’t be the end. Same goes for me. What if my fears come true, not likely but it wouldn’t be the end. I’m so sorry you broke down but you needed that cry I’m quite certain. And if you need to cry again it’s okay. Best to you beautiful!

[Hidden]

I need an update how are you feeling sweetie

[Starrlight]

Hope you are well 💕