I am driving people away from me and I know it.

And I don't know how to change. I feel so needy and too pathetic. I don't know how to make any money so I can have a better life. I am losing all hope. I just pray but I don't take action because I'm not clear on my direction. I don't want to fall for a shady get- rich-quick idea.

[EllaAlexandra]

Love yourself. Give yourself what you want to receive from others. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Sending you love!!!

[lillyofthevalley37]

Have a think about your talents - what about training as a councillor, I am sure you could get reasonably priced online training to be a councillor , with this covid 19 pandemic there are alot of desperate people what if you offered the cheapest councilling service you could offer telephone and zoom councilling ?

[hypercat54]

Making money is a different thing than stopping being so 'needy and pathetic'. Tackle the issues separately. Not having money doesn't mean you have to drive people away.

[Mountains2021]

I understand how you feel.... I too feel as though I am a disease and people run away from me.

[Hidden in reply to Mountains2021]

Oh, you are not a disease!!! I'm feeling somewhat better now. I think I wrote what I did because sometimes I think I overwhelm people with too much info about myself and I do have severe issues with depression where sometimes I can go on and on about how I'm feeling and not be aware of how negative I must sound!!! But please, don't think of yourself as a disease, you're a human being and everyone has stuff they are going through. Thank you for responding to my post.

[Hidden]

Let your parents be who and what they are. They are aging, probably less tolerant, getting very set in their ways. I know you have a sister or sisters too, the same with them. Accept, but love them regardless and keep them in your life. Is your neediness centered around your family?

Needing money to live is a basic red in life for survival. I don't know how to say make money other than put your self out there and take what you can get. Looked at a Temp agency, searched for jobs that offer on the job training? Are you willing to take a job that’s a means to an end for now?When you put yourself out there you’ll meet new people, make new friends. You’ll be able to make new connections, other opportunities could be in reach but you gotta get out there.

I'm still pulling for you to get out this muck you are in. You can do this.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, you have been so great with me, I really appreciate your insight. I'm going to try to send you a personal message in the next few days. Thanks again for your thoughtful advice!!!❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’m always around, message me anytime. 💜💜

[FifLove]

As others are commenting, I agree that these are separate issues. There’s only so much we can do about our families. We can’t choose them, and we must try to find a way to coexist with each personality individually. It’s not easy, and maybe right now you need to just back away, let them be themselves, and try to look out for your needs as the only priority. You will come back to dealing with them eventually.

As far as work, the only thing to do is put yourself out there. Sometimes when we put our faith in and take positive steps, good and unexpected opportunities arise. Just be safe doing so right now. I wish you the best and am here in the community anytime if you’d like to reach out☀️

[Hidden in reply to FifLove]

Thank you. I'm making a tough choice that it might be best for me to go no contact with my parents, at least for a few months.

[Hidden]

Thank you Luna, I appreciate how kind you are. You unite all of us introverts on here!!!🙂

[Hidden]

I hope you are feeling better now. Sometimes people need to vent to get things off their chest. I believe some on HU can and will listen to you. O have Talked to some on here that need help themselves but ignore their pain to help others get back on track. Hopefully you can that right person who is a right fit for you. I've had several people in here. One for my melanoma, now I've been talking to a real sweetheart who has listen to my rants about my life. I am thankful for everyone I talk to. Just remember it may take several different people before you click with someone. It did me.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! I do try to respond to some other posts on here and be helpful, sometimes there are posts where I just don't know what to say.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes those post will be for someone else to answer. I do not know what to say either. I feel I should answer them but don't have the words and I let it go. I feel bad but I don't want to give them the wrong advice in which woukd be worse for others. Hang in there girl. Keep up the good work!!

[Starrlight]

How are you today?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Hi, thank you for asking. At the moment I have a tremor in my hands that's bothering me. I'm worried I might be having symptoms of tardive diskinesia which you can get with these psychiatric medications. I'm trying to get a hold of my psychiatrist to talk about this, but he hasn't called me back yet today and that's frustrating. Starlight, I'm so tired of seeing psychiatrists. I'm back at my parents house now and that's frustrating too. I've been curled up in bed a lot today, resting and hibernating. So enough about me, how are you doing?

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

I would get the tremor check out for peace of mind like you are trying to do but it’s really probably nothing. I get them all the time, they come and go with stress and from relaxation. I’m not doing great any longer. I’m hating living. I feel so defeated. I’m so unhappy. I’m afraid the great combo of meds are once again loosing the effect. I am going off one, remeron, because I’ve gained weight but staying on Paxil which is just as bad i think , just because it changed my life , well at least it HAD now I don’t know anymore. I keep crying and feeling sick and stuck. I walked today, did some art, laughed but I am so done...all I actually want to do is to have my soul leave this shell. I know it can get better and will get better but I am finding it hard to help this strong feeling.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

I totally relate to what you're saying. You know, January seems to be the toughest time of the year. November is rough for me too, then it seems to be like there's this Christmas manic season where people spend money that you sometimes really can't afford to spend but you want to give the people you love nice gifts, and January is the deal with the reality time!!! I really checked out today, I don't even want to eat. And Steve- he's the ex I'm friends with thing, that's his name, he called me a couple times and I just feel like I don't want to talk to him. I'd rather talk to people on here. Like I want to talk to different people than him. Maybe that sounds mean, but that's how I feel. My mom just knocked on my door, she's making something to eat and wants me to come have some dinner. My mom is all right sometimes, I just always wish she would leave my dad and her and I could just live together, but she never will. I hope you feel better. In some ways it's January blues, and it will pass!!!!! We have to believe that it will!!!!🙂

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

I don’t think it’s mean not to want to talk with someone.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

You're right. And he can be too persistent and aggravating sometimes with constant phone calls.