Can anyone help me

Hi, I'm new ro this site and i am desperate for help. I didn't realize my depression symptoms were effecting everyone around me. Now my husband of 21 years says he's struggling with the thought of divorcing me. He has been my best friend, my confidant, my support, my everything and now, I've lost it all and i cant feeling anything but pain and regret that i didnt realize sooner. Ive lost it all.

[Agora1]

Eeed, step back for a moment. That is a lot for you to digest at once. You haven't lost it yet. He said he is struggling with the idea of divorce. Any possibility of marriage counseling. Thinking back, do you have any idea where this may be coming from?

Mental Health issues do impact the people around us but maybe with counseling, it can be helped. After all none of us are perfect. We all have our demons to deal with.

If your husband has truly been your best friend, confidant and support, hopefully he will allow you courtesy and respect of a 21 year marriage, to seek counseling before giving up everything you two have worked together for. One step at a time. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thanks so much. I am hoping your right but im so scared right now. The fear is taking over. He wants me to focus on myself right now and get the help i need to be able to function like i should be. I know its hard for him because he doesnt suffer from any of these issues that i have. It runs in my family. He tries but i know its hard to understand. He hasn't left yet or asked me to leave, but i keep going to the worst case scenario. Im trying. Im seeing my first doctor on Tuesday and a counselor on Friday. Please pray for me and my family. Thanks for reply

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Eeed, of course we will be here for you. I know how scared you are right now. The rug may be pulled out from under you of the life you've known. We all know on this support site, that no one (family or friends) can understand what we go through unless they have gone through it themselves.

I'm glad you have your appointments set up to see your doctor and counselor next week. Until then, try not to project down the road. If you do, the "what if" thoughts will take over. Instead, try staying in the moment, in the present. Right now, you are in your home, you have a roof over your head and you are safe. Each time a frightening thought comes by, switch channels to where you are at this very moment.

Come to this site as often as you need to in getting some comforting words of support from others who have been or are dealing with the same issues. In numbers, we have strength. You are never alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you Eeed. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thanks, i will try to stay in the moment, in the now. If my thoughts stray to the future which hasnt happened yet, ill try to reel them in. Thank you for the help and the friendship. I truly feel alone and hopeless. But talking like this is a great help. Thanks again!

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

xx

[MariaLove123]

Awww I’m sorry. Have you seen therapists or tried medications? It’s always a challenge being with someone who has a mental illness but they chose us. Your husband probably feels helpless. Maybe you guys can both see someone together. I told my partner if he ever gets to the point that he can’t take it anymore, I’d be willing to go to counseling with him.

This is a great site. I’m glad you’re here. It’s so helpful. People are so nice and supportive. Sending you hugs 🤗

[Hidden in reply to MariaLove123]

I am on meds, but apparently they arent working I thought all was good. My depression seemed to have me be unaware of how it was affecting everything. I am seeing my first counselor on friday and a doctor on tuesday. Please pray for me and my family. I dont want to lose my husband. Thanks for your reply.

[MariaLove123 in reply to Hidden]

My prayers are with you 🙏🏼 It’s great you’re seeing a counselor. Your husband will see you are trying and hopefully he’ll be supportive. You’ve been married for a long time. I don’t see him ending it. Especially if you’re making some changes. And maybe see a psychiatrist to change your meds. It’s ok to try other ones. Keep us posted on everything. ❤️

[Pamela2876]

I agree with the comments that a counselor can be very important. Is your husband willing to go to counseling with you? My husband and I dealt with many difficulties in our marriage including depression and addiction. Through counseling, support of family and friends and prayer we were able to save our marriage and will be married 16 years. I have some resources I could share that you may find helpful. Just let me know! You are in my thoughts!

[Hidden in reply to Pamela2876]

Thank you for the reply. I told him that i am willing to go to counseling to save our marriage. He didn't let me know how he feels about it yet. I am trying to give him some time. I would love any resources you want to share.

[Pamela2876 in reply to Hidden]

I am sorry it took me a few days to get back, however I found this resource here bit.ly/2mFxWoz. I really thought many of these resources offered great encouragement. I hope one of these will be helpful! Thinking of you!

[Hidden]

Thanks! Tomorrow I see a psychrist for the first time. I'm desperately hoping he can help me.

[Sky2016]

Eeed I am so sorry that you are going through it. I toogoing through with almost the same. Just keep your head up. When there’s storms a rainbow will show afterwards. I am here if you want to talk

[Hidden in reply to Sky2016]

Thanks for the support. I'm here for you too