What’s left

[legallystressed]

I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not going to hurt myself tonight or anything, but am considering it within the next week. I just need this to end. Today was one of the worst days of my life and I don’t think I can do it anymore. And I told my only friend that I was considering going inpatient in a few weeks when my work schedule permits and her only response was that I should have done it a while ago. I honestly have nothing left to live for and the walls are closing in on me. I have therapy tomorrow but I feel like I can’t tell my therapist any of this. I don’t even know why I’m writing this, cathartic I guess

[MariaLove123]

I totally understand how you’re feeling. You have to tell your therapist. That is why they are there. They might have advice that you haven’t thought of yet. This illness is tough. It’s a challenge but talking to your therapist, talking to us, being on the right medication are all important steps. And I’ve done inpatient. I got a lot out of it. So it might be a good idea. But ask your therapist first. Just know you are not alone. We’re all here for you ❤️

[legallystressed in reply to MariaLove123]

Thank you. I’m just nervous she’d make me go right away and I can’t do that

[MariaLove123 in reply to legallystressed]

She can’t make you. My doctor suggested it to me last week and I freaked out. I was like please don’t make me go. You either have to hurt yourself, tell the doctor you definitely are going to try suicide or volunteer going. So don’t worry about that. But definitely be honest with her.

[legallystressed in reply to MariaLove123]

Thanks

[Strongheartforever]

This pain is a signal that major change is necessary. Every time I see you here I feel so much for you and I want to heal you. Sometimes the worst person to care for us is ourselves and we do the most damage when we go into the dark thoughts and stay there. You are a tough, smart woman. Don’t you dare become a statistic. This could be fixed with vitamins, or meds, or something so damn available and simple. I’d applaud you for going inpatient today. Do not be lured by the darkness, please. I know how it beckons. It says “I can make this all go away....” and then the sun comes up the next day and you think, thank God I ignored that demon voice. Please, go surrender in the hands of professionals.

[legallystressed in reply to Strongheartforever]

Thank you. The tough part is when I wake up in the morning I don’t feel better, just disappointed. I will go to my appointment tomorrow though

[Strongheartforever in reply to legallystressed]

Best of luck. You’ve got all of us in your corner.

[Agora1 in reply to legallystressed]

legallystressed, good luck with your appointment tomorrow. It is only as good as you make it by being open with your therapist. My thoughts will be with you xx

[Starrlight]

Best to you Legallystressed 💕

[Hidden]

The screen name you picked made me laugh. Thanks.

[Kaez]

I know you don't know me, but please don't give up. I can promise you that no matter how bad things seem right now they can get better. And you'll look back and thank God you did not quit. Inpatient care sounds like a good choice you can make for yourself. I would also be nervous to tell my therapist these thoughts you've been having. But they are just thoughts, and you have control over what happens next.

[bingoluvr15]

i know things feel SO hard right now but if you feel like you need to be inpatient then by all means you do it. you do what is right for you. dont worry about what your friend thinks because in the end they wont be the one affected. you will. just hang in there. you got this

[legallystressed in reply to bingoluvr15]

Thank you. It just hurt bc it took so much for me to even be like maybe I should go inpatient and instead of being like ok good for you she criticized me saying j should have done it already but I guess I shouldn’t expect empathy from Anyone especially people who haven’t been through it

[bingoluvr15 in reply to legallystressed]

Hey, you realized that you have a problem and you are willing to change it by getting the help you need! most people have such a hard time doing that and you did it. its the first step to getting better so instead of criticizing you for that, she should be so proud because i know i am (even though i dont know you). & yeah it definitley is gonna be hard for her to understand because she hasnt gone through anything similar but if she really is your friend, you should explain it to her in a way she CAN understand