I wish I could take a close look at my soul. See it’s colors. See how hopefully strong or beautiful giving and bright it is. But I fear it’s weak or ugly poor and dim. So afraid of this I am.
This was so very hard to share which is why I choose to share it. I hope to be able to fix whatever is wrong with me that prevents me from seeing the truth in me. I feel like there’s a block and I can’t be whole. I can’t see. I feel so mixed up. I need some answers quickly to become a better person. To help someone in need. I need to figure some things out and make some things right. Am I thinking too much haha I tend to do that. 🤔
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And you know, I bet we all have little pockets of gray - the ones we are trying to brighten up, or improve, or change. But overall, I like what melbrown said - your soul is a beautiful rainbow. 💙💚💛💜💖 And we are ALL works in progress.
I do not know what causes a person not to be able to see the beauty in themselves, may be layers and layers of hurt. May be it is an imperfection that was somehow mixed in with the beauty that God placed inside. Can I love part of me and not dislike the whole of me. Why God is there this part of me that I want to bury deep where no one can find it, where no one can see.
But what if I embrace the imperfection, accept that it exists, until I no longer need to hide it, it just falls away and the part of me that I love is the whole of me.
I pray that the Lord God fill you will the Holy Spirit. I believe you need the power of the Lord to get you to your destination.
We all have these insecurities of not being enough. We are shaped through the events of our lives, and while we think we are weak, this is actually when God can use us the most. None of us are good enough, but we are valuable. We are priceless. You are beautiful and a treasure. I hope this link will encourage you: bit.ly/2MwevwE .
If you don't mind me asking, how old you are? I have had and have heard others say similar things, like they are afraid they will not like what they find. They usually do by the way. And the good thing is, I always believe it is better for us to see what is dark or needs to be tweaked or fixed, that is beauty, admitting what faults we have and the doing our best to change what we don't like. My mom would always tell me NOT to listen to the old adage that goes, "You make your bed, lie in it." She said you can always buy a new mattress, change the sheets, buy new pillows, etc. (Then I'd say "So you are telling me I should get a boob job?" HAHA-buy new pillows, sorry, I thought it was funny at 16)
I’m 42 thanks for your reply! I’m always trying to fix myself sometimes I just need to be satisfied with whatever I am at the present moment. Like today, I just can’t do it all; I’m so done.... I am sick and depressed, can’t take any more. I just want to die but because I believe in doing what I believe is right I will stick around for those who need me and love me. 💜
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My soul is tired.
