get that thing off your chest - Anxiety and Depre...

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get that thing off your chest

Starrlight profile image
42 Replies

do you have anything bothering you that you need to share?

Me, oh boy self doubt is annoying me like I keep thinking the things I put my heart and soul into are not good enough. I need to recall that I can’t be perfect and it’s ok

How do I see more worth in myself and work that I do? I think I need to do better and hard not to be hard on myself.

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Starrlight profile image
Starrlight
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42 Replies
Roxylox profile image
Roxylox

l am similar. I am starting a new job soon and am having doubts that l will be good enough. Being trained up tomorrow and feel l must have the courage to ask plenty questions. Will be a life change not having worked since early March.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toRoxylox

I think we need to be positive about our work and maybe even give ourselves a pep talk.

what do you think?

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply toStarrlight

A pep talk is a good idea I think. Thanks Starr

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toRoxylox

ok cool 😎 let’s do that pep talk …

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toRoxylox

p.s. Best to you in training tomorrow!

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply toStarrlight

Thanks, best to you in your homeschooling. Looks like you're doing a great job.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toRoxylox

it’s going great now thank you Roxylox

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply toStarrlight

l'm so glad to hear that Starr

Midori profile image
Midori in reply toStarrlight

You can only do your best, and yes, you will make mistakes at first. Forgive yourself and move on.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toMidori

So true thanks Midori!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I totally get that feeling. I think we need to retrain our brains and treat ourselves like we would a friend…I think you are right to go for improvement … rather than ocd perfection…it almost hurts that I can’t have perfection but I’m working on it.

Foxfur profile image
Foxfur in reply toStarrlight

yes, treat ourselves like we would a good friend, or parent ourselves like we would have wanted to be parented.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toFoxfur

😀

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom

If you find the answer please share. Self doubt, negative internal dialog, feeling not good enough. I face that every day. So I bought a Gratitude journal and try to look for an accomplishment I'm proud of each day. But I still am way too hard on myself. Today I had physical therapy again. Don't usually go two days in a row but that was the only times they had thus week. So I am sore and tired. But I can't relax because I keep thinking of all the things I should be doing. Hang in there and celebrate the good days. HUGS ❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toMrspjsmom

I will! Good idea with your gratitude journal. It does sound like a lot you are doing enough… just the physical therapy by itself is a lot… I hope your soreness and tiredness goes away soon…celebrate the good days I agree! Hugs backatchya ❤️

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply toStarrlight

The soreness and being tired are part of the healing process. I will just take it easy the rest of the day.

JasmineJaz profile image
JasmineJaz

My issues are mostly with interpersonal relationships. I feel like my only close friend is keeping a distance with me. She stopped sharing her life with me, only messages back and don't start a conversation, and just make enough effort to make the conversation look polite, as if she doesn't really want to talk to me.

We are both in a group chat of a handful of people, and just now, she just shortly replied to my message and chatted at length with another person. I feel ignored and hurt. I usually keep this sort of feeling in my heart instead of spitting it out, because it sounds so trivial. But you know what, it's never trivial in my heart.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toJasmineJaz

I know what that feels like. It’s not trivial at all I’m glad you are brave to share this…it’s so important to you and to me too.I get it. So many people don’t get me and sometimes I don’t show my true self out of fear which I’m working on so that I am more authentic. True it’s close to your heart. Let’s just try to accept that we are special just the way we were awesomely created. If we tell our brain this often (and the positive is usually more true than the negative we tell ourselves) it will become true in our hearts. It’s not as important that others accept us than that we accept ourselves. I’m here for you anytime.

JasmineJaz profile image
JasmineJaz in reply toStarrlight

Thank you❤️ It's so nice to be understood and validated. Most people in my life would just brush it off as "thinking too much", which makes it my fault. It made me bottle up my feelings, and it eventually built up to be too much to deal with.

I think I still need to learn how to handle the emotion after feeling it. I'll use your method and tell myself how special I am, to be so aware and conscious about things happening around me. It's actually a gift, perhaps I can even utilize it. And I'll try to remind myself of the big world out there, and the beauty of it, that it'd be a pity to spend too much time on the potential loss of friendship, which is either not true or not worth it.

It does feel good to get it off my chest😃Thank you for starting this post.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toJasmineJaz

I think you are an amazing soul, and yes you deserve to be validated. And it makes me so happy that you are able to be validated by the goodness inside of you. Oh yeah we are not at fault, but we pay attention more than some maybe. Yes I agree it’s good to pay attention but though the big world has such beauty I get scared of it.

It is difficult for me too, to handle intense emotion or normal emotions. They may be strong, but still normal human emotions. I am a sensitive person and I’m guessing you are too. I’m an introvert so it’s hard to keep up with friendships.

Anything else to get off your chest? I’m always here for you.

JasmineJaz profile image
JasmineJaz in reply toStarrlight

I'm running out of ways to express my happiness and gratitude XD I am indeed sensitive and introvert in real life just like you, but I'm not half as good when it comes to understanding and supporting others. I grew up in a family of engineers, and we focus on problem-solving rather than soothing feelings. It's so nice of you to have started this post and provided support for people, and I see a kind and benevolent soul in you.

I don't have anything on my mind now, other than saying thank you and I have your back as well👍

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toJasmineJaz

🙂 glad you’ve got my back thank you!!!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

Self doubt is a tough one. Constantly questioning our worth.... did I do it right, did I do it good enough, maybe I could have done better, I should have done it this way...... on and on and on.

We sure know how to beat ourselves up don't we.

Hugs for all of us

❤️🐬

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toDolphin14

yes! Craziness, right? Hugs backatchya ((((((((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))))))))

Foxfur profile image
Foxfur in reply toDolphin14

I feel the self doubt probably is rooted back to being told, “ if you just try harder” “you’re being lazy” and all the other toxic things that were spoken to us. I know for myself that this has a lot to do with my self sabotaging ways..

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toFoxfur

Agree 100%.

🐬

catsrock profile image
catsrock

Today sucks. Can't get myself to do much and have a lot of self-loathing, basically about everything. Keep crying and hating myself in general. So, unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you because I'm having the same problem.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply tocatsrock

I am so so sorry you are struggling. Let’s think of things that have turned our sadness into joy in the past that we did to feel better and try to recreate it, start fresh. I am going to take a shower and try to think positive thoughts.

catsrock profile image
catsrock in reply toStarrlight

Thank you. I'm trying. Did shower and got out to run some errands, so that helped. The self-loathing is the worst part for me - just makes me feel like ending things. Being active seems to help.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply tocatsrock

That’s great you are really putting your effort in and being active. I know I was self loathing recently and it does make one just want to give up let’s switch our thoughts when we notice the negative thinking.

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra

The greatest achievement a human can do is to care for the well-being of others. For without that caring, there would be no “us”. Whether a person paints a beautiful picture that gives joy for a few moments or a person helps another by giving kind words, it’s all invaluable. It all matters and it’s all needed. 💝

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toIsinatra

This. Is. Beautiful. Beyond words. So glad you shared this. ❤️

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra in reply toStarrlight

❤️

I know that to really make the needed progress with my illness, there is only one thing left to conquer. I have to face fear, weather the pain, do things that are hard and scary in order to gain victory and be the best me.

Pretty simple. However, I am well practiced in avoiding pain and when it seems near, I run or avoid it. I just don't know if I can do it. I am not young. Avoidance comes with plenty of its own pain, regret, sadness and loss. I pray for courage often.

It's not complicated just very hard.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toThankfulforhelp22

I agree. About every single thing you say. I could have written your post. I’m going out tonight and not avoiding my fears and hope some day I will completely conquer and triumph and I wish it for you too. 🙏

thanks 👍🏾

I'm sorry you feel "less than", snowdayze. It's an awful disease, this self-doubt. Wow, you never appear at all struggling with "less than". You're plenty good enough here.

On a side note, why does a cat chase its "proverbial" tail"?

I'm stuck and I can't move on. Proverbial tail. Proverbial tail? Cats have real tails, don't they? Well, except for that weird one, whadda ya callit, a manx? Real tails. Fuzzy tails. Striped tails, orange tails, grey tails. Smooth tails, bent tails.

What do you think? Why does this poor guy have a proverbial tail? Should we get together and relieve him of the burden?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

What project are you working on?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Crocheting sounds nice.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Smart of you Snowdayze

Midori profile image
Midori

Start by not caring what other folks think, because mostly they don't and what comes out of their mouths is unfiltered.

I've let unfiltered thoughts escape and hurt folk badly. I try harder not to let them escape now.

Unfortunately this is what happens with many folks now, they either don't understand, or they don't care.

If you have put heart and soul into a project, then it's nobody else's business. If they want to criticise, let them do better.

Cheers, Midori

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Oh yeah let’s work on not caring what others think. That’s good to work on.

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