How to cope with Thanatophobia?

[tufforganicboi]

I’ve been experiencing crippling thoughts of death and/or dying and I can’t escape the thoughts. I’ve been so afraid of the thought of me dying or my loved ones dying and I don’t know how to get past this fear. I’m just so scared of dying all the time and I have no idea what I can do to fix this. There’s something about the fact that I can’t control it that makes it so scary to me. I am a Christian and I believe that when I die I will go to heaven but I just find myself questioning it a lot of the time. This questioning causes me to worry and I have panic attacks with the thought of death. I have no idea what to even do at this point and I’m so lost. Can someone help me? I need tips on how to cope with this fear preferably from someone who shares my belief. It isn’t that I don’t respect the beliefs of others but it would just help a lot if I had advice from someone who shared my belief. Thank you to all who read this and I am just so lost. Any help would be really appreciated.

[gogogirl]

Well, sorry you feel this way. Eventually, we all die, so we need to concentrate on living. I hope you find the root of your fears.

[MARYRD27]

I used to fear death and dying, but after thinking more about it, I realized what I really feared was 1) not being there for my children, and 2) pain and suffering. My children are now adults and can take care of themselves, and I have made it clear and put in writing that I don't want my life prolonged unnecessarily if it means suffering. And I'm perfectly happy with being given potentially fatal amounts of painkillers if that's what it takes to keep me from suffering. Also, when my children were still minors, I made sure I had a will and knew there would be someone who would take care of them if I died before they grew up.

My suggestion is to think more about exactly what it is you fear about death and dying. There are so many things that we can't control in life, death just being one of them. What is it about death that bothers you more than the other things you can't control? At least you believe in a happy ending - heaven. Do you have a will? I've found that having a will is a big relief versus just a reminder that we are all mortal. it gives me peace of mind knowing that I'm not going to leave a messy situation when I finally do leave the planet. And, I also take comfort in the fact that so many have gone before me and eventually everyone after me. Death is very personal (no one can do it for you and no one shares in your experience) but it is an experience that everyone born into this world eventually experiences.

Another way to think of death is birth. An unborn baby is comfortable and secure in its mother's womb. Birth is a frightening and traumatic experience for the baby. It's the death of its former life and birth into a new, scary life. And when we die, people who believe in life after death see it as another birth.

[Linnea1]

Hello, tufforganicboi - Have you considered/tried behavioral therapy or talk therapy? You can even find a Christian therapist who would fuse the Christian belief system with therapy. That would be a great match for you. All the best!

[quitter333]

hmm.. I can only give you a story from own experience.

I have always lived rather carelessly, and sometimes been in near-death experiences (jumped from high places, fallen, attacked by animals etc). What I do is I keep very fit, so at least I am sure of my ability to do whatever it takes to survive. Keep up with your natural instinct to be as capable of surviving as possible.

..

But at least few times I have had experiences which made me rethink my relationship with death - all connected with substance abuse. Please do know I am not religious, so I believe that there is no "second chance in heaven". I think we are representatives of LIFE or moreso NATURE and thus must simply survive, multiply and work and be as good as we can to promote our spread into the universe. So when I think death I think the end.

...

BUT one event stands out.

I was having anxiety and depression and hardship with sleep. I constantly was scared I will injure myself in some anxiety/panic attack. While these symptoms went away (you cans see my latest few posts to see what helped) and even my long-term depression ended, there was a unique revelation I felt. Almost a moment of personal growth:

..

so - I had sleepless night, and just crashed during the day. I had a DREAM of meeting few friends and other people and suddenly we see a flash in the distance. There is a huge mushroom cloud as if it is a nuclear bomb. And we see there are consequent bombs exploding closer and closer and we panic and run. I enter a building and a huge all-encompassing flash happens right next to me. It's another explosion.

The light consumes everything around me, I am engulfed with blinding light. I can feel microseconds going by and my body burning. It all appears extremely real to me, even though I am not a fan of movies or war... As I feel I am going to die in a moment, I have a microsecond thought that I fear death .. ant then my thoughts race 100000000 operations per second and I suddenly have one thought, my mind dimming into the explosion - I love my family, and I will take my vengence to whoever did this.

I feel like a deity for a moment still engulfed in this explosion, I suddenly am at piece, and I let go of my fear of death. And with that I suddenly feel immortal

and

I woke up.

...

There is sun setting behind the window, I am in my room. The experience was so surreal I almost feel I am born anew like a phoenix.

And from that moment onwards I suddenly lost any fear of death. I have died in my dream and I knew what it was. I knew what is most important to me (family). I suddenly start seeing war and death as a waste.

But I never feared death again. Ever.

...

if you want I have another story, but that was substance abuse, so it did not come from pure mind.